Challenge: Morning
Title: Morning
Rating: Heavy R/Light NC
Pairing: Aoi/Ruki
Genre: Dark, angst, romance, reflection, one-shot
Summary: Addiction is a painful fate to face.
OTHER CHALLENGE PIECE
Dusk
NOTE: In an effort to sate our stress in this cruel, busy world, we have issued each other challenges again! Jackie gave Mandy rules and Mandy gave Jackie rules to create a story. Each piece was written solely by one of us, and we once again invite you to guess which one wrote which--if you want! Thanks for reading!
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“You don’t look the same.”
Those had been the words that slipped from Ruki’s lips like satin sliding against silk before Aoi pinned him to the wall hungrily - carnally. Aoi knew what he meant, he couldn’t deny it. He didn’t feel the same therefore he mustn’t look the same either. It was the way Ruki’s voice had dipped from a comment to nearly a purr that made Aoi react as he had. Beyond that it was the fact that he didn’t want to hear Ruki’s voice - he didn’t want to hear the questions - and he didn’t want to allow a moment of pity to pass the vocalist’s face if he didn’t take some sort of action. Therefore he filled the space with the only thing he could think to - a kiss.
Aoi remembered a time that he was less restrained. He had been rather boisterous and fairly off the wall as well as energetic and nearly untamable. However, Ruki’s assessment - you don’t look the same, extended beyond Aoi’s outward appearance and penetrated his brain, heart and spirit. He felt heavy and drawn. If stress could be palpable, tangible, it would be fixed to every inch of Aoi’s person. He could feel his cheeks were hollow and his skin was drawn thinly over his body. He simply looked shallow and gaunt. If Aoi thought about it hard enough he could feel how stretched his flesh felt against his bones.
The world itself was paler than it used to be. Colors faded into numb versions of their former glory and sounds - voices - dipped into muted whispers. Like he wanted to keep Ruki from speaking or analyzing him further, Aoi wanted to feel better; he wanted to feel normal again. He wasn’t fond of what he’d become.
Addiction.
That was the word that seemed to compliment what Aoi had let engulf himself. It had taken him so heavily and so heartily that one simple word seemed insufficient. And he used his own disgust and irritation with what it meant as a tool against his logic, allowing Ruki’s person to fill a void; at least a physical one. He needed the release to feel better, at least for a minute - in that narrow second of unabridged pleasure Aoi could remember what it was like to truly be who he was and not just the shadow of his former self.
He was bigger than Ruki and didn’t much care if he hurt the other man. Fortunately for Ruki it wasn’t in Aoi’s person to be violent or unnecessarily rough, therefore it simply came out in force as their mouths collided harshly and with no measure of gentle sweetness. Ruki however pushed back only further issuing Aoi cause to deepen the kiss harder; to which he readily obliged.
He had been using Ruki for this sort of release for as long as he could remember, since he’d accepted that he needed to feel a warm body under him as his own art of solo self pleasure wasn’t enough to sate his momentary high, allowing him to feel like Aoi again. He needed someone to help him feel that. Ruki had been his outlet and for some reason the other seemed to enjoy being used. It could have been that Aoi was being used for similar purposes on the converse, Aoi never took the time to ask - as he might have previously. He didn’t care so long as Ruki didn’t complain and their excursions were successful for Aoi’s wants.
Aoi felt his own heat swell and Ruki pressed against him in response. That spurred Aoi to reach forward and diligently work on unbuttoning Ruki’s shirt and the other reached forward and fumbled with Aoi’s belt. In a matter of seconds their clothes were strewn about the room and Aoi reconnected their lips, with the intention to keep them fastened together. He felt Ruki suck on his lower lip firmly and Aoi responded with a soft moan that started at the back of his throat and remained there gathering some level of gravely satisfaction.
It hadn’t taken much time for Aoi to bury himself into Ruki, thrusting hard against the other which Ruki responded with a yelp at first, of shock and discomfort from the sudden nature of Aoi’s action but almost immediately he yielded and embraced the sensation which quickly rose to heated passion where both echoed moans in response to each other’s touch. Hands familiarized themselves with places they'd been but wanted to revisit as their bodies blended into one. Tangled in the sheets and slick with a layer of shiny, salty sweat they collapsed against one another as the morning rays of golden sun bathed them through Aoi’s open window.
“Why don’t you just tell him?” Ruki’s voice pulled Aoi out of a near slumber, satisfied with their physical encounter and therefore ready for sleep to take him. “I’m sick of seeing you like this. I might not always communicate well - fuck I know I don’t; but I can certainly see that he’s killing you. Your addiction to him, he’s making you wither away. Stop fucking me and give your love to him like you want to.”
Aoi’s hand went to his hollow cheek and he drilled his upper teeth against his lower teeth. Clearly it was getting more obvious by the day, enough that others noticed, and that sent Aoi back to the moments in which he’d been irritated by Ruki having even mentioned that he appeared different. “It’s not an addiction.” Aoi meant to bite the words out, but they betrayed him to a measure of weakness which even he could feel against the back of his throat where they originated and simultaneously died. “He’s not…”
“Into men?” Ruki finished for Aoi before he snorted. “Its not about gender. It’s about people and compatibility. You’re retarded for him and he’s…blind to how much he fits you. But Aoi...he does fit you, he compliments you. So you have to show him, you have to fucking try, or no one will and you’ll just wither until there’s nothing left for him to take.”