It's Not That Far Away - Chapter Ten | Falling Like Stars Into The Ocean Black

[fae_dreamdance]

(This is a sequel to Mercy Me - We suggest you read that first.)


NaNo Book Cover
Rating: R (solid)
Pairings for Chapter: Nao/OFC, Nao/OMC
Overall Pairings: Tora/Saga, Nao/OFC, mention of OMC/OMC & others
Genre: Drama, Action, Adventure, Chapter, Fantasy, Supernatural, Romance, Angst, Dark, Horror

Summary: Months of living on the edge of danger is enough to drive anyone to behave irrationally. Though there comes a point in which sitting on the fence, watching both sides, is no longer feasible and a decision must be made. How can one know they are making the right choice? What causes one's perception of good and bad, right and wrong? How does one choose? More importantly, how does one know they picked the right side once they’ve chosen?

Insanity has nothing to do with morality - are you right or....wrong?
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Nao’s attention was drawn to the lithe man on the floor. In fact, everyone’s attention turned to Shiro. “I can do it.” He said again climbing to his feet, though his eyes never left Nao’s.

“How?” Nao asked. “I don’t even know how to think of those memories. I used to not know the difference between mine and his-and now I’m not even sure I can remember what parts of Ash I have. It’s not fresh anymore and Joey’s right; I’m getting better.” Nao could feel the healing he’d been part of over the last few weeks as the entire Lionel family nurtured him. He knew that soon he’d have to make a call across the sea and explain to, a likely frantic, Diane that Evie was with him and she was safe and alive and that he was sorry to Layton’s girlfriend for not having held up his end of the bargain in keeping a good enough watch over her.

“No.” Joey’s voice was sharp from behind the couch where she had slipped back into the living room and was now situated behind Tora. “No.” She said again, more firmly than the first time. “This is exactly what I was talking about. The fact that you want to do it willingly is beside the point. I never suspected it was you I’d have to protect you from. To defend against. Are you mentally fucking retarded? How many times can I ask you that before you start to realize you make dumb choices. Your head isn’t something you should fuck with Nao. Things that are buried in there are buried for a reason.”

Her eyes flicked over to Shiro and she shook her head at him. “There’s no way you’re taking him where I think you are suggesting.” She told Shiro despite the fact that the changeling emperor hadn’t said anything yet. “I won’t let you. He’s a mundane, not even a mage or a visiugo. Fuck - changelings even get lost in there and die. People aren’t supposed to go there; it’s not a safe place. I don’t know anyone who’s tried to go and succeeded, because anyone who’s tried and actually got in never come back. Ever.” She was shockingly mellow as she spoke, but her face was stricken and pale. Her fair skin was accented with splotches of pink from her obvious range of radical emotions she was experiencing all at once. “No.”

A wave of foreboding fear crossed Nao at her words; he didn’t want to die in the process of trying to live again. Yet it seemed as if no other option presented itself.

“Yes.” Shiro’s eyebrows pulled together overwhelming confusion and for a minute the room sparked with a variety of landscapes, as if they truly were moving between each of the scenery. It was just but a side-effect of the copious amounts of magic that poured off of him. Shou blinked hard as he tried to make sense of the sudden flashes of color they settled as Shiro’s emotional state calmed too. “I can do it. You must trust me Joey-chan.”

Kisho was shaking his head slowly, with it dipped down so he was looking at the floor below his feet in silent contemplation. However, his head popped up and he felt his eyebrows pinch together as he realized what they were talking about. “Emperor, you can’t be serious. You can’t possibly mean to take a mortal into theDreaming itself. No one can access it as a real physical place.”

Shiro peeked coyishly over his shoulder and smiled happily at the magic man. “Oh but I am Kisho-san. You must trust me too. If it’s this recipe you want, it is the recipe I will help Nao-san get. Do you trust me?”

“I don’t!” Joey’s eyes were staring at Kisho’s shadow. She saw his figure bow to and nod to the emperor even though his actual body didn’t move. “Well…it’s not about trust.” She said puckering her lips and turning to Nao. She was almost frantic as she started to plead with him. “Don’t do this Nao…don’t be dumb. You might never come back. What does that solve? Nothing. That’s right - zero. If you go in there, if Shiro reall could get you to this VERY DANGEROUS place, there’s a chance you might never come back. You…might not come back. Ever. Please…don’t do this.” She said briskly, trying to sound less concerned than she actually was.

There was a moment where he considered concedeing to her words-to imploring that they find a different way. His eyes flickered over towards where Tora and Shou sat, mentally and physically exhausted by this world, where Hiroto was next to Koko, having made stupid and brash decisions he never would have under other circumstances, and Saga recovering from near death in the room next to them. For them, for himself, and for Joey he couldn’t simply back out--“I have to.” He finally said, looking over to Joey with his own pleading eyes. “Wouldn’t you?”

Joey’s teeth ground together in annoyance and her nostrils flared and a very soft, almost meek ’fuck you’ escaped her lips before she turned and slipped out of the room.

Once again, Nao wanted to follow her but he forced himself to stay rooted in his spot. He understood that she considered what he was doing unnaturally dangerous but he also believed, in his heart, that he had to do this. He wanted to keep her for his own; he honestly loved Joey but he owed it to her to return to his former self and that would take protection from what held him back. Not protection in the way Hiroto had sought but protection that would ensure no debt ha to be paid. It would take some sort of safety measure against the vampires which would ensure that they could not be attacked. He wanted, if Joey were to have him, to give her the happy Nao he’d been months before, when they were unaware that vampires, mages, visiugo and changelings existed.

“Take me.” Nao told Shiro. “Take me to find this answer.”

“OKAY!” Shiro bellowed and clapped excitedly at the same time. Hiroto moved to stand up and get involved but Koko placed a hand on his shoulder and shook her head; which, oddly, Hiroto accepted as an answer. He didn’t step in after that though he was distrusting the entirety of what was transpiring.

Shiro leaned over and plucked a pen out of a nearby pencil holder and held to it tightly. For a moment he poured his heart and soul into the small object, the exact same way Joey had breathed magic into a piece of butterscotch to help revive Nao. The area around his hands and the pen itself were enveloped in a soft yellow glow before he held the pen in Nao’s direction. The drummer looked at it and Shiro offered him a serious expression and words of sincerity. “You must return it to me.”

When he’d taken the piece of candy from Joey, Nao hadn’t understood exactly what it meant; even now, its power eluded him. However, he was aware that the item held magic and it enchanted him to see a part, a small slice, of their world. He didn’t know how much of what they experienced he was actually exposed to - but he did know that he had more than believed the pots and pans were a full drumset…they had actually been.

The whole act had also made him sick afterwards. It was something Layton had called ‘magic sickness’. It was much like eating too much cotton candy and then paying the consequences for it later. However, it was much more dangerous than simply over indulging. He had been told, if he hadn’t returned the piece of candy that he would have been driven to insanity in time - seeing changeling’s world for too long forced people into insanity. The sort of insanity that people didn’t recover from. Ever.

Nao nodded before his fingers wrapped around the pen and it changed hands.

Unlike the time before, Nao was aware and entirely alive. Therefore, the second the pen became his, his hand clamped around the object involuntarily with an iron grip that was out of his control; it felt like his entire body exploded in heat and then rushing cool. The room flooded with light and then dimmed to nothing.

When Nao finally blinked, his vision was entirely skewed. He didn’t remember it being like this when Joey had passed the candy on; though he hadn’t been in his right mind at the time. It also occurred to him that magic to changelings was as unique to them as they people who had the magic themselves. No changeling was exactly alike.

When he blinked his eyes open he was surprised by what he saw. The room, the people, the things - all of it - was if painted by water colors: 3D water colors. The edges were blurred and shifted as his friends moved like cartoon drawn versions of themselves. He was already starting to feel a headache at the back of his mind but it was almost numbed in a pleasant or desirable way. He was only vaguely aware that it was a lure to keep him in such a state so he would be stuck like that for the rest of his life. To his friends, he looked glazed and distant, distracted by things that were seemingly not there at all as he looked on with a dumb smile on his face.

“Come, come.” Shiro reached out and took Nao’s hand. “It won’t be like this when we get there. It’ll get back to normal…well, normal for the Dreaming.” He waved Nao toward the bathroom door. “When you get inside, and you have to go first, do NOT step off the Silver Path.”

Nao’s hand had just touched the doorknob, which felt oddly fuzzy in his current state, when a firm ’wait’ echoed in his ears. It seemed to come from all around but he turned nonetheless. He spotted Joey, who looked more like a raccoon than she ever had. Her skin was grayish and her eyes were dark set in the traditional raccoon mask. Her tail was obvious to him and the ears on her head twitched expressively. She was as if a cartoon character brought to life. He smiled dumbly at her, somehow happy to see her. He felt as if he hadn’t seen her months and if his head was light, like he’d drank too much cold medicine.

“Come back.” She said taking up his hand in hers which were strikingly narrow and black, like she were wearing long dark gloves, but it was actually her skin enhanced by his current state. “Okay?” She tipped her face down. It was full of angles and a longer nose from the animalistic features she’d taken on. “The world would suck without a little Nao in it.” He felt warm and needed-loved. “It’s not your time to leave for forever. Got it slick?”

He nodded softly but it was with much conviction. He didn’t remember her hand leaving his but at some point it had because his was back on the fuzzy door handle. When he pushed the door open, he didn’t see a tiled floor that led to a toilet and tub. He saw a long silver road, paved in what looked like shimmering water which was oddly solid. It shined brightly, enough that he held a hand up to shield his eyes. He felt Shiro’s arm slip though his but he didn’t give the man a look or second thought as he took a step forward into the strange place that lay beyond the door.

The rest of those there, even Joey, only saw a dark bathroom in which the lights were off. It was a small room but as Nao moved through the threshold it became something more, a place that was larger than life. It had no beginning and no end. When the door closed, he heard it and turned but now there was no door, simply the path which went on infinitely behind and in front of him. Shiro’s arm tightened to Nao and he said in a shaky voice. “I told you not to go off the path, if you do you’ll never come back.”

It was only then that Nao realized he was standing at the edge, on one side of the path, ready to step off into what looked like a dense black forest with angry trees that groaned in a sick and terrifying manner. “It’s living and it’s savvy. It will try and lead you off the path. It knows what you want and if you even move one foot off the path, you’ll never come back. It’s where everyone’s minds live. It wants to keep you but you can’t stay here forever Nao-san. Okay?”

Nao looked back at the swirling silver under his feet. He nodded. His throat had closed up on him and his voice seemed to be entirely chased away. There was a fish that suddenly swam by, using the air as the ones he knew would use water, and Nao had the urge to follow it, to reach out and touch it, but Shiro held him firmer in his spot. “No.” He said and Nao realized he had moved to follow it off the path.

The place was overwhelming, more than Nao could explain. He felt a multitude of conflicting things at once. His head was heavy and light and he thought he would be sick. His stomach felt tight. The place was beautiful and disturbing all at once; it was a conglomerate of every single living, self aware and even the dead’s, subconscious minds pooled in a never ending yet confined existing place. It was real and yet it wasn’t. Nao couldn’t even fathom it and that made his head pound.

“Come on,” Shiro gave him a little shake. “You had to go first because you have to take us there. You have to take us to that part of your mind that knows. If I had come in first, we would have come to my place. Another day, maybe. Nao, think!” Shiro demanded as best he could demand anything and keep himself focused in the same instance. It was clearly hard for him as he saw a group of dancing lights float past, distracted by them in much the same way Nao had been with the fish.

Nao nodded again and the second he did, a door appeared in the middle of the path. Shiro let out a sigh of relief, his shoulders visibly relaxing, and Nao moved to take the handle. Shiro, however, grabbed his hand and shook his head firmly. “Don’t be rude-that’s not nice. Didn’t your mom teach you manners? Were you born in a barn?” He took Nao’s hand up and guided it to knock lightly on the door.

It didn’t take any time for the door to be answered. It shocked Nao that it was a door that seemed to be free standing in the middle of a long path, but he didn’t know how or why. He could see beyond the pretty dark haired girl who now stood in the doorway. Beyond her was obviously a house, a living room with furniture and pretty yellow walls that seemed to welcome him. Yet he could see that on the either side of the door, beyond the door itself, stretched the path. It could be assumed that beyond it was more path; however, the door was a threshold which seemed to lead somewhere else entirely.

“It’s on the path.” Shiro whispered in his ear as if he could read Nao’s confusion.

The woman, however, reached out and took Nao’s hand excitedly, though her feet didn’t leave the safe place beyond the door. “Come in, come in. We’ve been waiting for you-it’s great to finally meet you!” She told him cheerfully, her whole face was lit up with a bright, inviting smile. “Welcome Nao, it’s so good to have you. Can I take your coat?”

Nao opened his mouth to say he wasn’t wearing one, but the second he did, he realized that there was a heavy coat across his back. It seemed to come from absolutely no where. In that same instant, as he was distracted by the coat for a moment, he looked up and Shiro was already inside. Nao had not felt him leave his side, nor loop his arm away, but it seemed, from the way Shiro was standing back in the depths of the house, that he’d been there for a long time. The entire thing confused him but he slipped out of the jacket and let the woman take it, hoping that his confusion would be explained soon enough.

He still trusted Shiro to lead him somewhere that might be hopeful to their cause.

“Amy Lionel.” He said turning back to her with wide eyes, looking over the dark haired and pleasant looking woman. He had seen her in pictures before, seated atop Payton and Ash’s mantel in their apartment in Tokyo. He didn’t remember her from Ash’s memories as he seemed to have never experienced them; it was as if being in the Dreaming stripped him of that dual existence. That section of his head that housed Ash’s memories was dislodged and he was able to experience them as a third party. His memories, instead, were all his own and the only reason he knew her was because he had physically seen her photograph before.

It was a strange sensation to suddenly being detached from that which he knew of the man before; but he recognized the thin woman and, oddly, he saw Evelyn’s resemblance to the lovely woman before him. When he looked back to her, as she shook his coat of any wrinkles it might have, had she nodded eagerly and even let out a little laugh. “That’s right, please - please come in. Just call me Amy-you’re welcome in our house.”

It was just like any other Lionel home he’d been in; entirely welcoming and homey. This one was different than Layton’s house though; it was larger but no less inviting. He felt Amy’s hand on his shoulder and he couldn’t help but notice the large translucent wings on her back.

They were very different from Evie’s. In fact, she was clearly not a pooka; there was nothing animal in her appearance they way that Joey would reflect her raccoon counterpart. She was, instead, refined with high cheek bones and highly angular features. He was sure he only saw them as well as he did right then because of their location in the Dreaming.

She was in a more raw form like Joey had been when his vision was blurred- she appeared the same way other changelings saw her and how they must always see Joey as well. The tips of her ears were pointed and poked out from her dark brown hair. She was uncannily sweet and hospitable, much like he’d heard of her in stories when he slept at Layton and Keaton’s home.

He had moved to thank her but he was easily distracted a second later. “NAO!” He heard a voice cheer from in the distance and suddenly a tiny woman came into the room from the depths of the house. Nao had seen her before too; a wave of shocked washed over him as he was dumbfounded to see the two women he knew to be dead. The small woman hugged him without warning and Amy laughed airly. “You’re finally here. Oh man! What the hell took you so long? We would have paid your bus fair if that was the case-tell me it was something very cool and very, very dangerous that kept you. All right? You know-don’t shatter the image. I’ll just pretend like you were off saving the universe and couldn’t stop by to see us.

“I’ve been dying to meet you. Gosh Ash…” she seemed suddenly distracted as she looked over her shoulder for the man she was calling by name. She quickly got bored with looking for him but she said his name again as if calling him, “Ash? Ashman? Asher?!” She beamed a toothy grin up at Nao as she rattled off a series of nicknames in rapid succession. “Well, he is pretty -you have good taste, Ashton.” She said with a genuine laugh; Nao wasn’t sure if her words were directed at him or Ash that she was calling for.

“Tawney, give the man some room. He’s only just gotten here.” It was Payton’s unmistakable voice and Nao’s head popped up in the direction it had come from, eyes wide as he was faced yet again with a person he knew to be dead.

Now that the door was closed, and he was in the house, he’d entirely forgotten that he had been in the strange place which was called the Dreaming. It felt so very real that his mind believed in the magical realm that created this house to begin with. “It’s good to see you again Nao.” Payton offered him a soft, shy smile though it was happy and authentic. ”You look much better than I saw you last-which means quite a deal. I am glad.”

“I am better, thank you.” He said softly with a small bow, trying to struggle with the fact that he thought they were dead and yet there they stood before him. “Hello.”

“Hello indeed.” This time it was Ash’s voice, strong and familiar, that answered instead of Payton. Nao’s head jerked over to him; Ash looked the same as he had the last time Nao saw him. Tall and lanky, his vest immaculate and free of any wrinkles or crumbs, while his hands were loosely held behind his back as he stood next to Payton. For the first time since they’d met, Ash and Payton both looked peaceful, calm and simply happy. It was an emotion he had only see from Ash in the last few days of his life and even that was a burdened happiness. This was different; it allowed a moment of warmth to wash over Nao, happy that they were truly happy.

He wondered for a moment if he would look that way again; some day, he hoped so. It was why he was there in the first place.

“I’ll get drinks.” Amy offered helpfully. “Please Nao, make yourself at home.” She placed a hand on the small of his back and gestured to the room before them before she fluttered off and the sound of a child could be heard in the distance. It was suddenly nostalgic as Nao was reminded of his time in Florida as he healed. Though this time, it was a much younger version of Evelyn following after her mother as she squealed excitedly. She had no wings and she looked like nothing more than a toddler.

It was, however, as if the child noticed Nao was there in the same instant he had taken notice to her running behind Amy. She suddenly grew before his eyes like some sort of rapid progression of evolution. His eyes grew wide as he watched wings sprout spontaneously on her back and she turned into the little child Nao knew, not the toddler he had seen a moment before. Her dress was the one she’d finger painted in commemoration of Nao’s stories and had ‘Alice 9’ written on the breast. “NAO!” She howled excitedly, abandoning her mother’s heels and running over to the drummer. She threw her arms around him, hugging close to his legs. “I missed you!” She said happily; merrily.

It was strange for her to go from perhaps three to suddenly six but Ash stepped forward and placed his hand on Nao’s shoulder before Nao could make an effort to question the anomaly before him. “Clearly you’ve seen Evelyn since the last time I did, this can be explained. Or at least as well as magic can be. These were my memories-all of this. I remembered her at three-you’ve seen her older and it replaces what I knew. You’ve seen her often then.”

“Oh yeah uncle Ash, all the time. Nao is a knight and a dragon and a horse all at once!” She held tighter to Nao’s leg. Tawney had laughed, echoing Evelyn’s words in the same level of excitement as the little girl. A moment later, Evelyn abandoned him too with the promise of helping her mother and returning soon with red kool-aid-the best kind she exclaimed.

“All of this-this house, my family-are as they were the last times I had seen them. They are my fondest memories for the simple fact that they are the last moments of happiness I can remember regarding each person and each place. You look better than I remember, Nao-I am glad for it.” Ash watched Nao close. “We have, indeed, been waiting for you. You’ll remember Payton.” Nao and Payton exchanged glances and nodded. “This is my wife, Tee. And Amy is Evelyn’s mother. Payton’s Amy.”

Nao nodded knowingly. “Yes, I met them. Thank you.” He said to each of them for their welcome. He seemed, however, distracted by the fact that Ash stood before him. The other Lionels were forgotten as was Shiro. He had the urge to hug Ash but at the same time he felt guilty for it. Guilty for the fact that he was certain it wouldn’t mean as much to him as it would have before the man died.

“What does this mean?” Nao asked softly, confusion and worry written on his face. “I…I know you all to be dead and yet here I am. Does this mean that-“ He paused for a beat, his eyes growing wide as the thought crossed him. “-does this mean I am dead too?”

“Nope!” Tawney told him with a broad smile. She wrinkled her nose as she rocked on her feet, clearly unable to stay still in her spot. “We’re not so much ghosts or anything like that. Though that would be pretty cool. We’re part of your head-well, more Ash’s and what memories Ash gave you.” She glanced over to him. “This place holds every instance of magic in a person’s mind-family is magic, love is magic, hate is magic, fear and everything in between. The Dreaming is the place where all of that exists without restriction and without interruption. We’re just a figment of Ash’s imagination-and yours really. So no, Nao-you’re not dead. You’re just a little crazy for a while-you get to be a changeling.”

There was a smirk across Ash’s face still as he nodded his head at Tawney’s words. “That’s one way to put it-understanding the Dreaming would be in direct contradiction of its existence.” Ash explained and it seemed as if he had no intention on elaborating. “Your English is very good. It’s much better, where did you learn it?” Ash asked as he led Nao further into the house, followed by Tawney and Payton.

“Joahee, er - Josephine Hoxie.” Nao answered, bowing his head in against his chin for a moment. His eyes flickered around the three of them. For a fleeting moment, he questioned where Shiro had gone but he was drawn back to the dream-like existence of the people around him.

“Ah yes.” Ash nodded slowly. “Foul mouthed but good intended Joey. Yes, yes. I know her well. I hope you have not taken to her ill-vocabulary-she easily corrupts.” Ash smirked, a familiar thing across his face as he tugged on his sleeves and drew the four of them into a dining room.

A part of Nao felt guilt for the things he felt for Joey; things that he had felt for Ash and even still felt but couldn’t bring himself to linger on. Joey had helped him in ways that Ash hadn’t and Ash had helped him in ways Joey couldn’t. He was uncertain, however, of that difference when faced with Ash.

He glanced at his former-lover and nodded. “You like her.”Ash stated; it was nothing more than a declaration of the truth. Nao’s eyes flickered frantically up towards the man and Ash’s smirk softened slightly. “Nothing in this place can be hidden. It’s very…intrusive in that way. It feeds off everything you feel and think and manipulates to appeal to you.”

Nao felt his cheeks get warm and he bowed his head again, unable to bring himself to look to Ash.

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of.” Ash told him carefully as he urged Nao to sit down at the table. A moment later, he took his own seat. Both Payton and Tawney had followed though neither spoke. “I would have been disappointed if I found you unhappy-you deserve to be happy, Nao. No one deserves to live a lonely and miserably existence. It is not fair to you or your friends or your past or future.”

Nao sighed softly before his eyes swept over Ash. “I did love you.” He confessed quietly, nodding his head. “I still do-what I felt for you was unlike anything I had ever felt. You helped me heal, Ashton-san-you helped me want to live again. I loved you.” He repeated before he forced himself to look away. “I just love her too.”

“I know.” Ash told him; he didn’t hesitate to reach out and pat Nao’s hand lightly. “I know you did and I did too-but I am not the only reason for you to live, Nao. I shouldn’t be.” He said simply; Nao’s eyes finally moved to focus on Ash and stay there. He understood his former lover’s words; Ash would forever have a part in Nao’s heart, a large part of his person and his perception of the world. But it wouldn’t keep him from living his life after Ash was gone; they had had happiness for a short period of time and it had been perfect when they had it. Now, however, he was ready to embrace the fact that they couldn’t have that again. As he had been learning, it was like another life time ago - a former Nao and now the new Nao was ready to move forward.

A crash came from the kitchen beyond the dining room, followed by a squealing string of giggles that sounded suspiciously like Evelyn’s laughter only they were echoed by an older version of the same laugh. “Who decided that putting two winged changeling on drink duty was a good idea? I bet that kitchen is doused in red kool-aid.” Tawney stood up but rather than going straight to the kitchen, she stopped before Nao. She easily gave him half of a hug, a smile broad across her face when she looked to him. “Thank you, by the way. For making him happy after I was gone-I’m glad you were there for him. You guys would have made pretty babies-you know, if you could do that sort of defiance of nature.” She winked at Nao before she disappeared into the kitchen, leaving the three of them in the dining room.

“Because letting her go with two winged changelings is a good idea.” Ash half snorted and half shook his head but he was clearly amused and smitten by the idea and by her as he watched her admiringly give Nao the hug and thanks. It was something that only shown in his eyes though as he was perfectly stoic on the outside.

Nao watched her leave for a moment before his eyes moved back to Ash and a small, sad smile crossed his lips. “I want to save them, Ashton-san-my friends. Just as you wanted to keep what was left of your family. They are like brothers to me and I simply want things to be as they once were. Before we stumbled on this world of yours.” Nao licked his lips and leaned forward to better see the both of them. “They said that I know-or that you do, I suppose. They say that you know how to make sure we’re safe.”

Ash sighed softly and ran a hand over the bridge of his nose. “Nao…” He breathed out slowly, clearly intent on arguing the drummer’s words. It was odd to Nao how much Ash was like he remembered; in fact, it was because Nao remembered him this way that Ash appeared as he did. The Ash before him was a manifestation of the subconscious memories of Ash that Nao’s head housed. Before Ash could continue, no doubt with his hesitancy to answer, Payton’s voice cut in with a little more force than Nao had heard before.

“The benefits outweigh the dangers, Ash-this is not like before when you didn’t know what it was that could make it work. Yes, people died to find the answer but more people will die-Nao and his friends will die-should you not give them any other option. It’s now or never, Ash…you know that.” Payton told him quietly. A beat of silence filled the room as Nao waited, anxious to hear what it was Ash would say.

Ash’s eyes swept over to Payton and his face was placid. However Nao was suddenly aware of what it was Ash was speaking of earlier, when he said that nothing could be masked. He could tell just by the feeling about the room what Ash was experiencing. There was innate concern in Ash. It was all directed at Nao and his desire to make sure the man was safe; as if a residual of the affection they had shared. It was entirely that feeling that pushed Ash to speak.

“It has to be injected.” Ash spoke after that moment, his voice still and stoic. “When a doll is created, the vampire’s blood has to be given to the person in order to create the addiction. By nature, a vampire’s magic expires by daytime and the magic that exists in the blood they give wears away. That is why by the time the sun is fully up, a blood doll doesn’t feel the high anymore.” Ash licked his lips and took in a deep breath. “That’s’ why they either sleep or go into withdraw; or try and live a normal life as many do.

“Vampires can get addictions too-to changeling blood in the same way that any human can to vampire. The magic in it is too much for them to handle and anything beyond a drop will bring a vampire to its death. As a result they usually ‘cut’ it with bags of blood from donor centers and the blood fountains many clubs have. There is nothing that kills a vampire more effectively than a few drops of changeling blood. It’s why the blood trade exists, because it’s so valuable a drug but it is why they are all very weary of it too-because it is so dangerous. If a vampire were to sink its teeth into a living changeling, they’d die swiftly and they wouldn’t be able to stop drawing from that changeling; it’s a vice. It ensures death.

“However, the very smell of fresh changeling blood will make them frenzy and go after a bleeding changeling.” Nao was nodding his head as Ash spoke, understanding each and every one of the man’s words as well as remembering Elisa’s behavior when Joey’s wrist was open for them all to take from. It was a double edged sword for the vampires, both euphoric and pleasurable and dangerous to their bodies.

“Therefore I theorized that taking the blood of a changeling could protect anyone from the bite of a vampire, not just a changeling themselves. Most changeling die when bitten by a vampire as they are drained entirely because the vampire can not stop; but, the vampire also dies because of the magic. The question become, however, how to make that blood last. When vampire blood is injected into a body, it does not last for forever, only as long as the sun is down. Changeling blood, however, holds a different sort of magic. It’s contingent on belief and unabridged understanding of magic. I believe that if a person is injected with a small bit of changeling’s blood, the magic inside of that blood-the magic that destroys a vampire-will not dissipate so long as the inoculated believe in its power. You see? The moment they stop believing in its power, the magic their blood has absorbed from just a few drops disappears and they are vulnerable again. However it also requires a catalyst, something to speed the process so the human doesn’t die if bitten. That’s where the vaccination comes in.”

Nao’s head was spinning as he listened. “It’s not normal medicine by any means.” Payton added, a small smile on his face. “Not even by magical standards-because it’s not tangible magic that is used to vaccinate the person. It’s reliant on several factors, including something that can only be contributed by the donor. Belief. Fortunately, those that receive vaccinations inherently believe that they are safe from what they are being vaccinated against. Therefore we never intended on telling those vaccinated that they had to believe, we assumed that they already would. It’s abstract and it’s putting the responsibility on the person to keep themselves safe rather than something physically existing within them. The magic in a changeling’s blood is enough to initiate the power-to make the person’s belief in its power solidified. After that, the magic is at the mercy of their belief in it. Much like changeling themselves are.

“The question-“ Payton’s eyes flickered over towards Ash for a moment. “-becomes where to find enough changelings to donate blood in order to vaccinate. Its not a lot that needs to be given but its hard to come by changeling with enough magic already in them that they can sacrifice a little of themselves for it. They’re already dying because of the disbelief of the world-taking away their blood would be like taking away a piece of their soul. They have to have enough to still live afterwards. Its one of the reason why we never moved further with testing; we couldn’t consciously put a changeling’s life on the line-we’re not murderers.”

“OH!” A voice suddenly cut through them, excited and lively, from a fourth man seated at the table. Nao couldn’t remember having seen Shiro enter the room but yet there he sat, as if he had been there the entire time. He had long ago forgotten that he was in a place so very bizarre-created from illogical dreams-that things simply happened. “I know a changeling-yes yes, I know! You can have my blood-I don’t need it anyhow.” Shiro said, clapping his hands together as he beamed at the three of them.

“All five of them will need your blood, Shiro-san-that is a lot to give,” Ash warned slowly.

Shiro, however, had slipped out of his chair and waved his hand. “It grows back-“ Payton’s eyebrows knitted together but he hadn’t the chance to correct the changeling before he went on. Shiro stopped beside Nao’s chair, bouncing on his heels as he stood. “-besides, there are others that have enough magic to give. We can help-we can save them, Ashton-san. So long as we believe we can, ne? Then it doesn’t matter how much is taken-we have to believe it will work too or it’ll be useless.”

The lanky American was quiet for another moment before he nodded his head. “You should go as soon as possible then-the faster you give them your blood, the better. There is no reason for any of you to be in danger for any longer than necessary.” Ash’s eyes moved to Nao and he smile softly to him. It was the softer part of Ash that Nao had seen before and he was both saddened and happy to see smile on his face.

Ash stood up and moved around behind Nao. Carefully, he picked up Nao’s hand that still held the pen. He didn’t move to take the pen away rather he just situated his hand over Nao’s so he could write on the back of Nao’s hand. “Kisho will know what to do with this. Tell him the missing element is changeling blood.” Ash told Nao quickly. “He won’t be able to do it alone. Without Payton, he’ll need Dr. Drozdov and Shiki to be successful. Tell him that too.” Ash carefully wrote a few words that Nao did not recognize on his soft, light skin. He then released Nao’s hand and said, “Give Shiro the pen, Nao-san…go home and live happily.”

Nao was still in his spot for a moment, conflicted by the fact that he was both comforted and glad to be where he sat, with one of the most important people to him. And yet he knew it was time to leave; he had others that counted on him and it wouldn’t do then good for him to linger in this mystical realm for any longer. If it was anyone else who had urged him, anyone else who reminded him to return the enchanted object, Nao might have ignored them. But when Ash asked, he found himself unable to disobey.

Nao bowed softly and stood up. A moment later he moved forward and pulled Ash into an embrace. It eased every part of him that missed and was saddened by his death, yet it energized the part of him that was ready to move on with his life and live again. “Thank you.” He told Ash softly; the man had returned the embrace, relishing in the same sort of emotional closure it gave. Nao broke away and placed a light kiss on Ash’s cheek before he stood up straight. “For…for everything. Thank you, Ashton-san.”
“You’re welcome. Goodbye, Nao.” Ash responded softly. Nao smiled wide before he turned to Shiro and moved to hand him the object “Take good care of Joey, she needs it now.” It was, for a moment, total closure and Nao felt that this wasn’t his memory anymore at all; not that it had been since they were separated in the Dreaming. But now he felt less welcome here, as if he were intruding on space that wasn’t his anymore. It was why was quick to extend the pen in Shiro’s direction.

“Nao, wait-“ The drummer’s eyes flickered over and he caught Payton’s sad, worried eyes. They were glassy with premature tears and he suddenly looked like the drawn and tired Payton that Nao had remembered meeting so long ago. “Can you tell Evelyn about me? I…I don’t want her to hear it from them. If she has to know, I want her to hear it from someone she knows and trusts. Someone she loves. Please.”

Nao bowed softly, nodding his head in agreement. “I will, Payton-san. I will.”

“Ready!?” Shiro’s asked excitedly as if he was oblivious to what was going on between the three of them and that it was emotional. He held out his hand to Nao, his other arm looped through Nao’s as he waited impatiently for the pen. A second later, Nao placed the writing utensil on Shiro’s palm, forcing his own fingers to peel away from the object and Shiro whispered in his ear while both of them were still touching the pen. “Through the door.”

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Authors' Note
Jackie & Mandy: Somehow Nao became integral to this story. We aren't really sure when that happened but we've let it to do it's think and we think this is the fulcrum we've been leading to. Here is the turning point; the place in which all is revealed and he gets his chance to be himself again. And he takes it; willingly. Shockingly, he grew a lot throughout this saga. We expected to use him as a tool in God Bless Catastrophe and really nothing more; but here it was evident how much a larger role he was meant to have. Not because he had the answer they needed to be safe, but because he developed.

Now, with all that said - we hope this made some kind of sense. That you guys could suspend your natural disbelief enough to get wrapped up in what it was that happened. We know this is a very opaque idea and strange setting; but we hope you liked it and that it made (as much as it could) sense. For all that didn't make sense and if we just threw you into the ocean and let you sink without a life preserver please let us know so we can answer any questions you might have. ^.^! We are happy to do so.

As always - thank you so MUCH for reading. We really appreciate it!