You want to know the worst thing you could possibly do while reading this chapter? Listen to 'Time Machine'. I just read the translation for that song not two seconds before I read this so I was listening to it and thinking about what it meant and then reading Shou unload a few pounds worth of stress and anger and I started bawling. This is why I always eat chocolate when I read this story! ^.^
There was a certain part... hang on I have to find it...
I’m sick…and tired…I’m sick and tired of you…” Shou ran the back of his hand under his nose, his other hand still clutched in Shiki’s grasp, “…of you thinking you have to do everything alone.
That line was what got me started and then the whole rant afterward just made it worse because I got this really clear visual of Shou just going to town and Hiroto trying to shrink into his corner and stay there forever. It was a really powerful thing for me that they’ve gotten to the point of stressed out and pissed off that someone finally broke and said “Fuck this I’m done being nice, you need to stop being stupid!” to Hiroto, and even more so that it was Shou who did it because he started out as one of the happy happy joy joy people of the group. I know Ash told Hiroto something similar a few chapters ago but this was like… wow… not that Ash wasn’t like wow too but you know what I mean… I hope.
The other thing that was really strong was this:
The fact that Hiroto had been crushed by those creatures, closely followed by Nao, who was entirely destroyed by Elisa (which made Shou thankful for Ash, as he seemed to be the only one that Nao responded to), and Tora, who’s interest had cost him any possibility with Aiko, made Shou do something he never did - he hated.
This was a jumble of emotional for me. Firstly, I was still crying about the above things and then the thought of Hiroto being driven to his breaking point coupled with what happened to Nao was like ‘holy shit bad’. And that was only driven deeper by the reminder that it was only Ash making a sacrifice like he did (because I consider that a sacrifice hands down) which brought Nao back. And THEN we go and mention Aiko and there was the sign of blaming Tora mixed in there and I was just like ‘fuck this I’m gonna be crying for a while now’.
And I know why it made me cry too. It was Hiroto thinking about them being happy and friendly once upon a time and then having that joy in stark comparison to the pain that they’re all going through right now for their various reasons and realizing that it’s making them all fray… wow I’m explaining that really badly. But that’s why it’s making me cry at any rate. The loss of innocence and joy above all else will make me lose it and they’ve certainly lost that and this isn’t even over yet.
Ok, this comment got really long. Sorry, I can’t seem to comment shortly on your chapters anymore. So now that I’m done writing my essay I get to fangirl a little. Awesome chapter! It was really visual inducing (if that makes sense) and I love that about your writing. The way that you describe things makes me see it really clearly in my mind as I’m reading and this one was especially good in that respect so great job. I also love the fact that you got me crying again. Again! You’re good at making me cry with writing and I love that. I can’t wait to see what you throw at us next.
Okay I am going to try and stay as on task to answering this as possible. :D Just so I don't end up writing two pages worth of freaking out and high fiving you, all right? :D
So...the sections you picked out are actually some of our favorites. I think tis safe to say this on Mandy's behalf--we loved writing the breaking of Shou. Because thats really what it was. It was his own emotional break down, his own dam spilling forth after some what...twenty five or so chapters of crap? Its surprising it took this long for his smile and optimism to go away.
We do get what you mean about the power behind the words when Shou says them. Though Ash has become important to all of Alice Nine, he is not the same as the members themselves. He is their friend but the band is like a family. Brothers so to speak (though I don't think I know many brothers that do what Tora and Saga do >_<). With that being said, there is more power behind Shou's words than Ash's in the emotional sense. Ash is like "I know this shit, you don't. Listen to me." and Shou is more like "This isn't good, you're hurting us and your hurting yourself--listen to me and stop." Its more personal and therefore more powerful.
There is no doubt that what Ash did was a sacrifice--NO doubt. And let me say, on behalf of Mandy too, that we are ecstatic to hear that you view it as such. And it really is a sacrifice for the both of them--though Nao wasn't aware. I will warn you. :D We like to build on the stuff that is happened--too often we see stuff where people forget about whats happened before and the effects of it don't follow through the development of the story or the characters in the story. We will never do that. :D Stuff like Aiko and stuff from the very first chapter, like the dead body, will always crop back up. :D Its one of our favorite things--looking into the past to better explain how it has shaped them. And a lot of what we have them do is based on stuff we've seen them do in the past, stuff we know they are prone to do (whether they have claimed it or whether its obvious from videos and interviews)
So its good that you like that (or I assume you do ^_^ - even if you cried at the emotion behind it). Because that is never going away.
No need to apologize about length. :D If there was one thing Mandy and I rock at, it is crazy long comments. We like to talk--we feel bad when we answer a two sentence comment with like four paragraphs. :D Ha. So you're talking to the right people--we dig it. :D
It makes perfect sense! YAY! We want you to be able to see and feel everything the characters do--we try so hard to make sure we describe the right stuff at the right time and such. And we worry we always fall short--that we could describe things better and show more of why it is happening as it is. So its great--GREAT--to hear that you enjoyed the description here.
I too am going to end my long response on a fangirl note. :D Thank you for reading all the time!!! We really love it and we are so appreciative of your feedback. You spoil us with how much you talk about our story here--you settle each and every one of our fears and we thank you for it. :D Thank you so freaking much. :D
-J (and M ^_^)
Also...sorry if there are typos. :D I am running on like four hours of sleep. :D Hopefully you can make sense of it--especially since my typos usually include leaving out verbs. O.O
There was a certain part... hang on I have to find it...
I’m sick…and tired…I’m sick and tired of you…” Shou ran the back of his hand under his nose, his other hand still clutched in Shiki’s grasp, “…of you thinking you have to do everything alone.
That line was what got me started and then the whole rant afterward just made it worse because I got this really clear visual of Shou just going to town and Hiroto trying to shrink into his corner and stay there forever. It was a really powerful thing for me that they’ve gotten to the point of stressed out and pissed off that someone finally broke and said “Fuck this I’m done being nice, you need to stop being stupid!” to Hiroto, and even more so that it was Shou who did it because he started out as one of the happy happy joy joy people of the group. I know Ash told Hiroto something similar a few chapters ago but this was like… wow… not that Ash wasn’t like wow too but you know what I mean… I hope.
The other thing that was really strong was this:
The fact that Hiroto had been crushed by those creatures, closely followed by Nao, who was entirely destroyed by Elisa (which made Shou thankful for Ash, as he seemed to be the only one that Nao responded to), and Tora, who’s interest had cost him any possibility with Aiko, made Shou do something he never did - he hated.
This was a jumble of emotional for me. Firstly, I was still crying about the above things and then the thought of Hiroto being driven to his breaking point coupled with what happened to Nao was like ‘holy shit bad’. And that was only driven deeper by the reminder that it was only Ash making a sacrifice like he did (because I consider that a sacrifice hands down) which brought Nao back. And THEN we go and mention Aiko and there was the sign of blaming Tora mixed in there and I was just like ‘fuck this I’m gonna be crying for a while now’.
And I know why it made me cry too. It was Hiroto thinking about them being happy and friendly once upon a time and then having that joy in stark comparison to the pain that they’re all going through right now for their various reasons and realizing that it’s making them all fray… wow I’m explaining that really badly. But that’s why it’s making me cry at any rate. The loss of innocence and joy above all else will make me lose it and they’ve certainly lost that and this isn’t even over yet.
Ok, this comment got really long. Sorry, I can’t seem to comment shortly on your chapters anymore. So now that I’m done writing my essay I get to fangirl a little. Awesome chapter! It was really visual inducing (if that makes sense) and I love that about your writing. The way that you describe things makes me see it really clearly in my mind as I’m reading and this one was especially good in that respect so great job. I also love the fact that you got me crying again. Again! You’re good at making me cry with writing and I love that. I can’t wait to see what you throw at us next.
<3
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So...the sections you picked out are actually some of our favorites. I think tis safe to say this on Mandy's behalf--we loved writing the breaking of Shou. Because thats really what it was. It was his own emotional break down, his own dam spilling forth after some what...twenty five or so chapters of crap? Its surprising it took this long for his smile and optimism to go away.
We do get what you mean about the power behind the words when Shou says them. Though Ash has become important to all of Alice Nine, he is not the same as the members themselves. He is their friend but the band is like a family. Brothers so to speak (though I don't think I know many brothers that do what Tora and Saga do >_<). With that being said, there is more power behind Shou's words than Ash's in the emotional sense. Ash is like "I know this shit, you don't. Listen to me." and Shou is more like "This isn't good, you're hurting us and your hurting yourself--listen to me and stop." Its more personal and therefore more powerful.
There is no doubt that what Ash did was a sacrifice--NO doubt. And let me say, on behalf of Mandy too, that we are ecstatic to hear that you view it as such. And it really is a sacrifice for the both of them--though Nao wasn't aware. I will warn you. :D We like to build on the stuff that is happened--too often we see stuff where people forget about whats happened before and the effects of it don't follow through the development of the story or the characters in the story. We will never do that. :D Stuff like Aiko and stuff from the very first chapter, like the dead body, will always crop back up. :D Its one of our favorite things--looking into the past to better explain how it has shaped them. And a lot of what we have them do is based on stuff we've seen them do in the past, stuff we know they are prone to do (whether they have claimed it or whether its obvious from videos and interviews)
So its good that you like that (or I assume you do ^_^ - even if you cried at the emotion behind it). Because that is never going away.
No need to apologize about length. :D If there was one thing Mandy and I rock at, it is crazy long comments. We like to talk--we feel bad when we answer a two sentence comment with like four paragraphs. :D Ha. So you're talking to the right people--we dig it. :D
It makes perfect sense! YAY! We want you to be able to see and feel everything the characters do--we try so hard to make sure we describe the right stuff at the right time and such. And we worry we always fall short--that we could describe things better and show more of why it is happening as it is. So its great--GREAT--to hear that you enjoyed the description here.
I too am going to end my long response on a fangirl note. :D Thank you for reading all the time!!! We really love it and we are so appreciative of your feedback. You spoil us with how much you talk about our story here--you settle each and every one of our fears and we thank you for it. :D Thank you so freaking much. :D
-J (and M ^_^)
Also...sorry if there are typos. :D I am running on like four hours of sleep. :D Hopefully you can make sense of it--especially since my typos usually include leaving out verbs. O.O
Reply
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