Back To the Beginning (Arthur: To Come Into Our Own Part 2)

Dec 14, 2010 01:51

Series: Three Is More Than Just Company, AMTBR
Title: Back To The Beginning
Fandom: Inception, mild/moderate Whoniverse
Pairings: Arthur/Eames, pre-Ariadne/Arthur/Eames
Rating: R, for language and implied sexuality
Story Summary: "You think you know a story, but you only know how it ends. To get to the heart of the story, you need to go back to the beginning." (The Tudors, Opening Narration). We all have stories. Who we were, what we've been through, defines who we are.
Chapter Summary: Arthur's always been on his own, never truly having anyone to rely on but himself. Pulled into a world he could have never imagined, he starts running and he never stops. He has his duties, his responsibilities, but is that what he really wants? And if he can have what he wants, will he be brave enough to take it?




Don't breathe too deep

Don't think all day

Dive into work

Drive the other way

That drip of hurt

That pint of shame

Goes away

Just play the game...

So I own not a notion

I escape and ape content

I don't own emotion, I rent...

Dying in America

At the end of the millennium

We're dying in America

To come into our own... - What You Own, RENT

He ends up working with Eames, who introduces himself without the rank and without a first name. In turn, Arthur offers only his first name - everyone uses it anyway and if Eames isn't going to be formal then why should Arthur be? Alex has this crazy idea of splitting them up into teams, and he apparently spends too much of his time with Ash, Daniel, and Ianto, because he's not allowed to work with them. Instead he works with Eames and two other agents, both DESI. Caleb Carnahan's a former Marine like Arthur, he's a decent extractor, and Jason Maxwell's the greenest agent in the program but he has a real flair for architecture.

Arthur doesn't have any trouble with Caleb or Jason. Eames, however... That's another story. “So, they've stuck us with the unimaginative one. I should have known,” is the first thing Eames says when he finds out that he and Arthur will be on the same team.

Arthur has imagination, he's not quite as dull as everyone thinks. You can't come up with every possible outcome of a situation without some level of imagination. He's not a visual person; in dreamscape that's an issue and comes across as lack of imagination. But he doesn't argue the point, simply rolls his eyes and gets to work on their assignment. If he ignores the Brit, maybe he'll quit the needling.

Only he doesn't. And then Eames starts in with pet names. Darling, usually, and Arthur can't fucking stand it.

“He's just trying to get a rise out of you,” Daniel says at lunch one day.

“Oh clearly, but what kind?” Ashley quips, which is when Ianto chokes on his soda and Arthur throws a crumpled napkin at Ashley's head.

The problem with Eames is the same problem Arthur had when Harkness was flirting with him. Eames is that kind of guy, cocky and flirts like he breathes (until they have to get down to business, which is a relief), with an accent to boot. And Arthur finds him insanely attractive. This really isn't fair. And of course, his so-called friends find it just hilarious. Well, Daniel and Ashley do. Ianto seems a bit more sympathetic, but Arthur's caught even him hiding a smirk.

He doesn't know what to make of it all, really. Inside the dreamscape, he and Eames work flawlessly together, Caleb having to scramble to keep up. But outside of it... Eames is probably just messing around in a way no American soldier would risk - but then, the British don't have Don't Ask, Don't Tell. So there's no reason for Eames to be worried that he'll cause himself trouble when he fucks with Arthur's head this way, with the pet names and the smiles and...

Fucking hell.

~ ~ ~

If there is one thing that ten years of foster care has taught Arthur, it's that the world is fluid. Things change too fast for you to see them coming, and that's something no one can stop. The Canary Wharf disaster, though it takes place across the Atlantic, turns out to be the catalyst for just such a change. Arthur doesn't have all the details and to be perfectly honest, for once he doesn't want them. But the basic story is this: Yvonne Hartman and the Torchwood London scientists were playing with things they shouldn't have been playing with, and now the Torchwood Tower is a hole in the ground, more or less. To make things more complicated, Director Hasling had been in London at the time for the grand unveiling of whatever the destructive pet project of Hartman's had been.

The upshot of all this is that Torchwood is pretty much gone, except for the Dreamscape agents and two other branches, Cardiff and Glasgow. Ianto has informed him that Glasgow is a joke, so it's really just the dreamers and Cardiff. DESI is suddenly missing a Director, and there's no clear successor. Alex is gone on the next flight to D.C., and Arthur finds himself left in charge. There's not much to do, honestly; all projects are on hold until they figure out what the hell's going on.

It doesn't take long. Phillip Broyles is promoted from head of fringe division to the director's chair, and Jack Harkness takes the reins at Torchwood. He pulls all the Torchwood agents from the program immediately, because even though he greenlit everything before, he never actually liked the idea of dreamsharing. Or so Arthur hears. But the program is being shut down completely anyway, since Alex is getting Broyles' old job and he doesn't like Dreamscape either.

Alex and Arthur convince him not to give up on the program entirely, and the agreement reached is that the Cobbs will continue their research, semi-privately, with Arthur as their handler/DESI contact. It's better than nothing, and Arthur tries not to think about the way he regrets that most of his friends are Torchwood and they're leaving. And he absolutely does not think about the fact that he's going to miss Eames as well.

“So this is it then.”

Speak of the devil... Arthur turns around to face the man in the doorway.“I guess it is, Lieutenant Eames. Was there something you wanted?”

“No, not really, darling, I just thought I should say good-bye. We have been in and out of each other's heads for almost two years now, surely you can spare five minutes to bid me farewell?”

Arthur laughs, and turns around to find that Eames is a lot closer than he'd thought, that they are way too close for propriety. “You really don't have much concept of personal space, do you?” It's not the first time this has happened, though it is the first time in a while it's happened without Arthur picking up on it sooner. He must have been thinking too hard.

“Never saw the point really, no.”

“People might get the wrong idea,” Arthur observes.

“Or the right one.”

And that just stops Arthur's train of thought dead for a second. “I'm sorry, what - ?” He's cut off as Eames' mouth closes over his, and just... What. Arthur really shouldn't kiss back, he knows that he shouldn't, but... Fuck professionalism. He's pushed back into the desk, and that's all right, he thinks muzzily as his tongue tangles with Eames'.

“Oh, fuck, sorry, I didn't realize... I mean... Shit, I'll just... go.” Jason's eyes are wide as he backs out of the doorway, cheeks flaming red. Arthur snaps out of his daze - because he would know better if he hadn't been too stunned to think - and flees the room before Eames can say a word.

Three corridors away, he slumps against the wall. What did he just do? He could blame it all on Eames, but if he hadn't wanted it, he'd have shoved the forger away. Since he didn't... No. No way. Eames is going back to England, Arthur is never going to see him again. Finding him attractive is one thing; Arthur's never denied that much. But one kiss doesn't mean a damn thing. Not even taken together with nearly two years of working side-by-side, of verbal sparring that is sometimes hostile but more often fairly good-natured. Eames is not going to be here. So it doesn't matter anyway.

~ ~ ~

Arthur is not the world's best handler. Dom and Mal tend to blow him off, and a few times the debates end in screaming matches. Arthur enjoys experimentation - of course he does, dreaming fascinates him like nothing else ever has - but they want to go way too far. It's reckless at best and downright stupid at worst, especially since they have two kids now. Philippa calls him Uncle Arthur, and when James was born last year, Dom and Mal made him godfather. They're friends despite the arguments, but that one still shocked him.

Still, he manages to keep them from going too far. And then he has to leave Los Angeles for a week and fly back to D.C. Before Dreamscape, he'd been involved in a long-running investigation into a group called the Trust, and they need him to discuss certain aspects of the case with the agents who are working it now. It's one week, but in dream-time a week is years, is eternity. And when he gets back, the Cobbs...

They've dropped beyond third level. They've gone to what Dom calls Limbo, and Dom won't meet Arthur's eyes. As for Mal, she looks him right in the eye and says “This is wrong, Arthur, this world is a dream. You are a projection, and Dom and I need to wake up.” Her eyes are wild, but her voice has such conviction that for a second Arthur wonders if she might be right. He shakes off that thought almost immediately, but it's a mark of how certain she is that she can make him doubt.

Dom thinks he can change her mind, convince her that this is reality, that they're awake. Arthur wishes him luck, and tries to help where he can, but he knows Mal is lost the moment she makes him question reality himself. Anyone so sure that they make others wonder isn't likely to be turned from their belief anytime soon. The worst of it is, he told them. He told them, and he tried to stop them, and it was his fucking job to stop them. And he screwed up.

Dom blames himself when Mal commits suicide. That's not entirely unjustified, but Arthur knows that it's his fault too, for not doing his job better. But he's learned, and he's not going to fuck up again. Mal's gone, but Dom's not. Arthur has to stay with Dom, to make sure that he too doesn't fall into insanity, or just die. But it's going to be different, because Mal set things up so that it looks like Dom killed her. So he has to run, and Arthur will run with him unless he can use DESI connections to clear Dom's name.

He can't. Broyles refuses to get involved; Dreamscape is toxic to him, the bastard. Alex pulls him into her office when he's storming out - a bigger one now, for a division head - and sits him down in the chair. “We won't track you,” she tells him. “I can't give you more than that, but I can make sure DESI leaves you alone. Maybe Ianto can make sure Torchwood does as well.”

“Maybe.”

Arthur is at the door when Alex calls his name. He looks back, and there's an oddly tired expression on her face. “Try to let go a little now, will you? You're like me, Arthur, you make work your life. I can't see you wanting to change that even if you'll be doing less than legal things now. You should try, though.”

“I don't think being a criminal is going to be conducive to a good love life, if that's what you're talking about.”

“Not necessarily, just... Christ, Arthur. I gave my life to my job, and now, except for my sister, I don't have anything else. I'd prefer not to see you make my mistake.” There is something horribly tired in Alex's eyes, and Arthur remembers abruptly that she is eight years older than he is, approaching forty as quickly as he's heading for thirty, and for just one moment he can see a part of her fighting against who she is and what she's become. And she's trying to stop him from having that same look in his eyes. He appreciates it, but doesn't know what to say, because what do you say to something like that?

~ ~ ~

It's less than a year after he and Cobb take off, quickly building a reputation as the best extractor-point man team around (Cobb builds as well, but extracting is the active job, and so it's what people remember) that they pick up a job they can't do alone. Granted, they never really work alone - there's always a chemist to be contacted, if nothing else. Arthur likes to use Ashley; she and Daniel left Torchwood in disgust after what had happened, and now do freelance everything, including dreamshare.

But they don't need a chemist on-site for this one, or a second extractor. They need a forger, and it's Cobb who tracks one down, a funny smile on his face when he tells Arthur he's found a man, who should be arriving anytime now.

“Dom, you can't just pull a stranger in on this. I need a name, I need to vet this guy and make sure he's - ”

“Now, now, darling, I think we're past all that, aren't we?” Arthur chokes on what he was going to say, spinning around to see Eames lounging in the doorway. He blinks, Eames' clothes actually hurting his eyes. The man's as attractive as ever, but that outfit...

“Did you steal that jacket from a dead man?”

“I don't see you in nearly three years, and that's all you can say? Really, Arthur, I'm hurt.”

Cobb rolls his eyes. “All right, you two. Flirt on your own time, we have work to do.”

Arthur would deny vehemently that he and Eames are flirting, except that would only confirm Cobb's suspicions and give Eames more fodder to tease him. And Arthur's thinking about an interrupted kiss, wondering uneasily if Cobb might actually be right.

He's not sure if Eames is thinking about that as well, but the forger doesn't seem to have learned anything about personal space in the intervening years since Dreamscape and now. If anything, he's gotten worse. Arthur's not sure he can stand it much longer, but he manages to wait until the job's finished. He's closing up the PASIV when he feels Eames come up behind him, and he takes a deep breath, tells himself to ignore the other man, just ignore him... And then Eames is close enough that his breath tickles the back of Arthur's neck, and something snaps in the point man. He spins around and pushes Eames into the wall, kissing him hard and deep.

That's how it starts, with a kiss against the wall that ends with them having sex on the warehouse floor, lucky as hell that Cobb didn't come back and find them there. And it continues, for almost a year, and Arthur wonders why he fought it so long. Eames is clearly looking for the same thing that he is; casual sex with someone he doesn't hate but who won't demand more. Which is all Arthur's ever looked for, because that is safe. Anything more complicated involves a level of risk that he refuses to take.

But then things get complicated. Arthur's not sure how it starts, but they seem to be having more than just sex these days. The banter is more flirting and less verbal sparring now, and they actually have conversations in the mornings after because they're both still there. This is new. And he likes it. He likes it entirely too much, because falling in love is a very bad idea in general, but falling for someone like Eames, who drops in and out of Arthur's life so very easily, is a disaster waiting to happen.

They're in Guadalajara, and Arthur doesn't like it much. Mexico does not suit him, but the tequila does. Eames likes the alcohol as much as he does, and they end up plastered - though not so much so that they can't have sex. There are times Arthur suspects that they'll never be incapacitated enough to prevent sex if they're in the same room alone, but... Not the point. The point is, that something about the afterglow and the tequila haze, and Eames' arm across his back, makes Arthur slip up. It's not a fatal mistake, because some part of himself remembers why saying this is stupid and has him reverting to Hebrew, but the words still slip out into the darkness.

The words would be “I love you” if said in English, and Arthur can't believe he's said it. Mostly because he's pretty sure he just might mean it, and if he's said it in Hebrew the next time might be in English, and that would just be... Well. He'd rather not think about the consequences of that. So he leaves in the middle of the night, telling himself he's not running away, he's just being smart. Cobb's in Vienna right now - Arthur has learned, in the past few years, that sometimes he and Cobb have to work separately or they might kill each other - so he catches the next flight out of Guadalajara, and two planes later he's touching down in Vienna himself.

Two jobs after that require a forger, but Arthur manages to talk Cobb into using someone other than Eames. At the beginning of all this, Cobb would see right through Arthur's bullshit and demand an explanation, but not now. Because Mal might be dead, but she's not gone. Cobb's projection of her is getting more and more psychotic. She's so bad that Cobb can't build anymore, and Arthur has personally been killed painfully by her six times to date. That, along with his determination to get home, is increasingly all that Cobb is aware of. It will almost certainly get him - and probably Arthur - killed, but it's also a relief to the point man. He really doesn't want Cobb actually bothering to think about his rather flimsy rationalizations.

He did the smart thing, the right thing. Arthur has to believe that, so he clings to it. It's fine. He's fine. And most of the time, he actually manages to convince himself. Most of the time.

~ ~ ~

Cobb leaves for Mombasa and Arthur's nerves skyrocket. Bad enough that they have to do the impossible without needing Eames to help them do it. He doubts anything will actually happen, but... It's part of Arthur's job to come up with and plan for different eventualities, and he applies the skill to his personal life - such as it is - as well. He can see several possibilities for what could happen once he and Eames are in the same room again. Somehow none of them make him feel any better.

At first, this makes the job of training Ariadne in the basics of dreamshare a welcome distraction. He likes her; she's intelligent and enthusiastic, and as Cobb had said, she really does have a gift for this. In some ways, Ariadne reminds him a little of Ashley, or even Mal. She's fascinated by the dreamscape, and he knows the signs of someone who won't be able to give this up. But he doesn't see her losing herself to it like Mal did, and she isn't as academically-minded as Ashley. He still thinks Ashley will like her if they ever meet, and that the real Mal would have too.

It's familiar, this sort of training, just like the old days at Dreamscape. He likes Ariadne's company; she's easy to talk to and he finds his usual reserve slipping when he's with her. He relaxes a little around her. Maybe that's why it takes him a little while to realize she's gotten to him, that he likes her more than is really appropriate. He tries not to worry about it, since there's enough to think about between the training and his research on Fischer. It does occur to him, though, that his interest in Ariadne might mean he's over Eames. It's exchanging one problem for another, sure, but he can handle the situation with Ariadne more easily. At least he thinks so.

Then Cobb comes back with Eames. There's a chemist as well, a man named Yusuf, and Saito's apparently decided to take a more active role in the operation. But that's all the sort of thing he can deal with, one way or another. And he's glad Cobb found a chemist - he did not want to bring Ash on a job that he's sure is going to end up a mess, and besides, Daniel would come along and Cobb and Daniel hate each other. (Though he is really getting tired of being Yusuf's compound guinea pig. He did it for Ashley, but she didn't knock him onto the floor!)

It's Eames that he's really worried about. He keeps waiting for the forger to call him out about Guadalajara - which he doesn't - but that's not the worst of it. He's not over Eames after all, not even close. And yet the interest he'd started to feel toward Ariadne hasn't faded in the slightest. He'd been expecting a change of problem, which might have simplified his life. But this... Well, Arthur has no idea what to do about this.

~ ~ ~

It's probably the adrenaline high from completing the Fischer job - or the relief that they all got out again with their sanity intact - that has him even considering Eames' offer. He certainly blames adrenaline for the other dumb move he's made today, because surely he'd never have kissed Ariadne out of nowhere on a normal day. Then again, maybe it's the fact that Cobb is out of the game. Arthur's spent years riding herd on Cobb and prior to that his life was devoted first to the Marines and then to DESI. He ought to be relieved to finally catch a break, but Arthur prefers to be doing things. Eames' suggestion that they start working together would be one way to answer the question of what he's going to do now.

Still, none of that should be enough, especially when Eames adds that he wants Ariadne in on the new team he wants to form as well. Arthur knows that saying yes is a terrible idea; it can only lead to trouble. He doesn't need to work with them, really. He can go solo or join up with Ashley and Daniel. Hell, he could probably even get in touch with Alex - she's Assistant Director now - and try to rejoin DESI.

There's no reason for him to say yes, but he does. Arthur can't even explain to himself why he agrees. It's a horrible idea, it's the sort of risk he never takes. But somehow, he's remembering Alex, sitting behind a desk with tired eyes and a bitter smile, telling him not to make her mistake. This is probably one of the most idiotic things he's ever done, but deep down it's exactly what he wants.

He's never really done exactly what he wants before, not ever. The Marines had been practicality, DESI he'd been shanghaied into, and following Cobb had been a personal duty. However it turns out, this is what he wants to do, and he's going to do it. Maybe it'll be all right. He's not sure about that, but maybe he can let himself hope for it, just a little. It's worth a shot.

Link to the next section:  fae-boleyn.livejournal.com/10713.html

three is more than just company, inception, arthur/eames, whoverse, ariadne/arthur/eames, amtbr, fanfiction

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