(no subject)
So, i think its time i updated this stupid thing again. Things have been going pretty good. I started working at wawa this week. Back to pumping gas again, i hate it, but i do it well, (not that its all that hard) and its puttin money in my pocket, I have a lot of bills that need to get paid , so i really shouldnt be complaining, i just need to keep fuckin working. Hopefully eveything is goin to keep getting better. Really i just want to hurry up and get an apartment with melinda, and get out of her mothers. it would be so much better for all 3 of us. We would all be so less stressed out, and i think just generally more happier. but yeah, theres so many other things goin on right now. My mom is goin in for surgery next week, but i know she'll be alright. I'm kind of worried about my brother though. He had to do some hydration crap for wrestling, and he's on probation,and whatever he did he had to drink a shit load of water, and he went and took his piss test and they viloated him and said he tryed to dilute his urine. So now my mom had to go get a laywer and crap. I just feel so bad for him, he's tryin so hard to get through all of this, and its just so fucked up for him. But i'm sure my mom will fix it, she always makes sure he's ok.
Besides working i've been trying to really find myself, really figure out what i'm all about. I've started really finding out things i never knew. I've been sober for almost 2 months now. Which is extremely amazing for me. and its not only the fact that i'm on probation that i'l doing it. Partially its for Melinda and Joy, because melinda doesn't like it around joy, and i dont think that I want to raise joy the way i was. But its more for me. I dont need to be getting high right now. it shouldnt be a priority in my life. I have so many other things i need to do with myself rather than waste my life ( and money) on something stupid like that. I mean, I'm not saying i'll never smoke pot again, because i'm sure that i will at least a few more times in my life but its not going to be something i aspire to do everyday in my life. I've also been realizing that I've grown up a lot quicker than most of all my friends, and I honestly didnt think it would be so easy with out them. it didnt occur to me until Jess and i got a stupid fight because she was jealous. But I've come to realize that i dont need any one but myself. Any one else in my life is just an added plus. Melinda and Joy are the only two that i know will stay in my life for the rest of it. They're the only two people i cant live without. They are my reason for breathing. But everyone else is just there. I do have friends, and i enjoy them very much, but i dont live my life around them any more. I just do me, and thats all i should be doing. ( and melinda of course ;] ) haha.
But yeah, I have also started studying Wicca. I've wanted to for quite a while, but i never really had any one i felt comfortable with teaching me and i didnt think i would be able to do it on my own. Melinda, is a very good teacher though, and i'm very comfortable around her, so thats making it a lot easier for me. I dont think i'm learnin as much as i should fast enough, but thats just the way i am. i want to know everything and i hate waiting to know. I've never really felt conected to a religion as i do this one. And i'm really happy that i have mel here to help me. I dont know what'd i do with out her.
As for our handfasting, planning is going pretty well. We pushed the wedding back so we can have it outside, it will be so beautiful. I cant wait to have Melinda as my wife.
wow ok. I really didnt realize how much i had written, until Melinda looked over at me and said.. "damn your still typin that" lol so anyway, i think im going to be done with this now. I want to go look at some other stuff before my time runs out.blah stupid library only givin an hour for the computer. they suck. ok, im done now.
I love you Melon ;]
Besides working i've been trying to really find myself, really figure out what i'm all about. I've started really finding out things i never knew. I've been sober for almost 2 months now. Which is extremely amazing for me. and its not only the fact that i'm on probation that i'l doing it. Partially its for Melinda and Joy, because melinda doesn't like it around joy, and i dont think that I want to raise joy the way i was. But its more for me. I dont need to be getting high right now. it shouldnt be a priority in my life. I have so many other things i need to do with myself rather than waste my life ( and money) on something stupid like that. I mean, I'm not saying i'll never smoke pot again, because i'm sure that i will at least a few more times in my life but its not going to be something i aspire to do everyday in my life. I've also been realizing that I've grown up a lot quicker than most of all my friends, and I honestly didnt think it would be so easy with out them. it didnt occur to me until Jess and i got a stupid fight because she was jealous. But I've come to realize that i dont need any one but myself. Any one else in my life is just an added plus. Melinda and Joy are the only two that i know will stay in my life for the rest of it. They're the only two people i cant live without. They are my reason for breathing. But everyone else is just there. I do have friends, and i enjoy them very much, but i dont live my life around them any more. I just do me, and thats all i should be doing. ( and melinda of course ;] ) haha.
But yeah, I have also started studying Wicca. I've wanted to for quite a while, but i never really had any one i felt comfortable with teaching me and i didnt think i would be able to do it on my own. Melinda, is a very good teacher though, and i'm very comfortable around her, so thats making it a lot easier for me. I dont think i'm learnin as much as i should fast enough, but thats just the way i am. i want to know everything and i hate waiting to know. I've never really felt conected to a religion as i do this one. And i'm really happy that i have mel here to help me. I dont know what'd i do with out her.
As for our handfasting, planning is going pretty well. We pushed the wedding back so we can have it outside, it will be so beautiful. I cant wait to have Melinda as my wife.
wow ok. I really didnt realize how much i had written, until Melinda looked over at me and said.. "damn your still typin that" lol so anyway, i think im going to be done with this now. I want to go look at some other stuff before my time runs out.blah stupid library only givin an hour for the computer. they suck. ok, im done now.
I love you Melon ;]