Journal's Back!
K so this will now be my second time writeing this today cuz i decided to x out of the box
So its been about a year since i have wrote in here, mostly cuz it caused alot of drama that i didnt need with madeena and hey look a year later and shes still that same stupid bitch that wont leave me alone. So ya life pretty much sucks right now. One of my gradmas died last week and my other one has cancer and isnt doing so good iam suposed to be going up north soon for her sugury. The Bitch egged my house how nice of her. My moms been in the most bitchest mood lately i think its cuz shes going thru alot right now and stuff so ya. Work pretty much sucks i dont ever work i havent worked in 15 days, because eveytime they scheduale me then end up calling me off. I can't wait until A&W opens i like working there alot more but i will be working both, this should be fun. So i havent had a bf in a year now that should go in the world book or records or somthing lol. after everything in the last year its hard to just open up and let someone in. because every time i did i got hurt and screwed over. So i found it easyer to just be friends with benefits and no one gets hurt, well i was wong u still get hurt beacuse u end up wanting more then friends but they don't, or they ended up going out with there ex girlfriends. Most of the time i think iam better off alone who needs boy right? But then someone always comes along and u think wow this could work hes like perfect. but then reality kicks in and u realize no ones perfect and he could be just like the rest and u'll just end up hurt. It just seems so hard to let someone in or maybe i just dont want to. I guess nothings ever easy. Theres always the what ifs , what if i do get hurt, what if i dont take a chance, what if hes just like the rest, what if he does really care, what if we rushed things, what if hes not who i though, what if i dont care , what if iam not ready for all this. But i guess life has no guarentees you just have to put urself out there and hope for the best....<33!