Listening to MTV unplugged at 230am
If i believe that anything theoretically possible may happen but live my life constantly assuming the vast majority of those possibilities won't ever occur, is that a form of faith?
Faith in incessant unlikelyness? That definitely doesn't sound like a word. There's a BnL song I'm not otherwise terribly attached to that describes the necessity of that faith to enjoy daily tasks.
I feel less desperate than usual. I feel like there is room in my days to live life. I'm attempting to deliberately fill that space.
My day to day existence may not be anything other than this life but I'm feeling consistently like that's a fact to rally around rather than resent. I have the support and resources and ability to do anything. It's the actually doing that's missing.
I'm less anxious about "how do i fill this hole?" And more enthused about any moment i capitalized on.
I have good things around me. I'm grateful.
I would like more conversations in person in my life. I would like to keep trying to be a better listener. It's a skill i probably owe the world in a comedic karmic sense. And earnestly, it feels like what I'm meant to learn. Life is better when i truly listen.
I'm finally watching movies and listening to music again.
Been a decade
What changed? How did i end up as me? I'm tempted to ask if it matters but I'm sure i don't actually want an answer right now. Maybe ever. I'm not sure i believe in evers anymore.
Faith in incessant unlikelyness? That definitely doesn't sound like a word. There's a BnL song I'm not otherwise terribly attached to that describes the necessity of that faith to enjoy daily tasks.
I feel less desperate than usual. I feel like there is room in my days to live life. I'm attempting to deliberately fill that space.
My day to day existence may not be anything other than this life but I'm feeling consistently like that's a fact to rally around rather than resent. I have the support and resources and ability to do anything. It's the actually doing that's missing.
I'm less anxious about "how do i fill this hole?" And more enthused about any moment i capitalized on.
I have good things around me. I'm grateful.
I would like more conversations in person in my life. I would like to keep trying to be a better listener. It's a skill i probably owe the world in a comedic karmic sense. And earnestly, it feels like what I'm meant to learn. Life is better when i truly listen.
I'm finally watching movies and listening to music again.
Been a decade
What changed? How did i end up as me? I'm tempted to ask if it matters but I'm sure i don't actually want an answer right now. Maybe ever. I'm not sure i believe in evers anymore.