they're back
Nightmarish images dancing like twirling dervishes in my head as I lay to rest. I want to sleep so bad I am sure if you could taste sleep I would be able to. My subconscious knowing what it is in for, though my conscious does not remember, fights to stay awake in terror. My eyes hurt, my body aches I require rest... but rest I do not get. Once I fall asleep my brain is tormented, by what I cannot say for I do not remember. I toss and turn clawing and kicking, alone, no one to save me from myself.
How do I know how bad my sleep is you ask... well I sleep with 4 pillows, a fitted sheet on my mattress, a flat sheet tucked under the mattress (military style), a duvet and a quilt... all of this on a single bed. I know I am kicking and clawing... and possibly climbing because my pillows are all firmly jammed against the headboard, the fitted sheet has been pulled off the top corner on the left side, the flat sheet has been ripped up as though I was hiding under my blankets from something and my blankets are almost off the bed completely.
I wake up more tired than I was when I went to sleep. More sore, more stiff and often with tear stained pillows.
I don't know how to make it go away. Once upon a time he held me until they left or I awoke... but he's not here now and I don't know how to save myself.
How do I know how bad my sleep is you ask... well I sleep with 4 pillows, a fitted sheet on my mattress, a flat sheet tucked under the mattress (military style), a duvet and a quilt... all of this on a single bed. I know I am kicking and clawing... and possibly climbing because my pillows are all firmly jammed against the headboard, the fitted sheet has been pulled off the top corner on the left side, the flat sheet has been ripped up as though I was hiding under my blankets from something and my blankets are almost off the bed completely.
I wake up more tired than I was when I went to sleep. More sore, more stiff and often with tear stained pillows.
I don't know how to make it go away. Once upon a time he held me until they left or I awoke... but he's not here now and I don't know how to save myself.