In this time... give it to me easy.
Well, this entry is public just so I really can admit what is going on right now in my life.
Yesterday was a very, very hard day for me. I have never felt so much hatred surging through my body, or so much pain in one room before. Yesterday I lost all faith I had tried to regain in organized religion. I am so sick and tired that all my life has been for a good long time has been a struggle of questions, a struggle of what was right in the realms of religion. Organized Religion is now my enemy. The only thing keeping me at a church is a love for music. I'm looking more and more into pagan beliefs now, I just still am in awe of what happened. I'll write a more in-depth entry for a select few later.
That's another thing I wanted to say, I've been writing private entries to a few people... so in reality I've updated almost every week. I just felt a bit embarassed to say some of it out loud. Especially some of my bad days which livejournal got to personally hear about... that and everyone in my town. Now though, I'm pretty sure things have settled down and I'll just get to calm down for a while and smile.
In other news, I have almost finished writing letters to everyone I've ever known. I have 3 left. I got one in the mail today with some earrings in it from my cousin who is about eleven or so. She's not going to have a good time in life, so whenver I get a chance I send her things and I walked with her for about three hours when I visited South Carolina back in November. Holy Crap, it's January. Almost the middle of January too... time flies. Period.
I also just have to share that I really cannot live without music, or blaring it so loud it pisses my neighbors off. I love hearing the bass smack the wall. This leads into a statement that I must make: Would the teenagers and teeny boppers of the world STOP STEALING THE GOOD MUSIC AND MAKING IT HORRIBLE. The Postal Service, who have been one of my favorite bands for a good year and a half now are starting to get popular. Which means they will be over-played, over-listened too and every person in the world will have a "special connection" with that song, which means they'll do it to be like everyone else. This is mainly being stated for a friend of mine, who is having a nervous breakdown on instant messanger because of this.
I have no real clue what I've said in this entry, but I'm alive... and am posting secretly to a select few. Which will know some news of mine, and why I have beautiful white roses sitting on my desk. Ah, love.
Talk to everyone soon. <3
Yesterday was a very, very hard day for me. I have never felt so much hatred surging through my body, or so much pain in one room before. Yesterday I lost all faith I had tried to regain in organized religion. I am so sick and tired that all my life has been for a good long time has been a struggle of questions, a struggle of what was right in the realms of religion. Organized Religion is now my enemy. The only thing keeping me at a church is a love for music. I'm looking more and more into pagan beliefs now, I just still am in awe of what happened. I'll write a more in-depth entry for a select few later.
That's another thing I wanted to say, I've been writing private entries to a few people... so in reality I've updated almost every week. I just felt a bit embarassed to say some of it out loud. Especially some of my bad days which livejournal got to personally hear about... that and everyone in my town. Now though, I'm pretty sure things have settled down and I'll just get to calm down for a while and smile.
In other news, I have almost finished writing letters to everyone I've ever known. I have 3 left. I got one in the mail today with some earrings in it from my cousin who is about eleven or so. She's not going to have a good time in life, so whenver I get a chance I send her things and I walked with her for about three hours when I visited South Carolina back in November. Holy Crap, it's January. Almost the middle of January too... time flies. Period.
I also just have to share that I really cannot live without music, or blaring it so loud it pisses my neighbors off. I love hearing the bass smack the wall. This leads into a statement that I must make: Would the teenagers and teeny boppers of the world STOP STEALING THE GOOD MUSIC AND MAKING IT HORRIBLE. The Postal Service, who have been one of my favorite bands for a good year and a half now are starting to get popular. Which means they will be over-played, over-listened too and every person in the world will have a "special connection" with that song, which means they'll do it to be like everyone else. This is mainly being stated for a friend of mine, who is having a nervous breakdown on instant messanger because of this.
I have no real clue what I've said in this entry, but I'm alive... and am posting secretly to a select few. Which will know some news of mine, and why I have beautiful white roses sitting on my desk. Ah, love.
Talk to everyone soon. <3