(no subject)
so last night i told clayton that i needed more time to think and figure things out, but i also told him that i didnt want to have him waiting around. we got everything distingushed about us, but he said he'd rather not be friends not talk, nothing becuase it'll just hurt the both of us too much. well it wont hurt me cuase not talking is what's hurting me. i mean i should be able to think about things, he had a month to i mean my god, but he said that he felt that we were getting too serious and he wanted to seee if i was what he wanted because he didnt want to get serious and then realize that he didnt want it.. which is good becuase i'd rather it be like that than me be in a relationship by myself. but he also said that he broke up so that i could take the time to think, and i didnt really. i thought about us, and the good things rather than the future cause i figured we were over. now i need time becuase i dont know what i want anymore, you cant just turn something on, turn it off then turn it back on again, i emotionally am not strong enough to do that. and i dont know maybe i will regret my decision, maybe i wont. i'm not even sure yet. i do know that i'll be losing a best friend over this, and it sucks, but it was my decision and i guess i'll have to live with it