Jun 14, 2005 12:39
And scream it I will...
I will take half an hour out of my life and write a half decent entry here and collaborate all my feelings, regardless if you read it or not. It doesn't matter, either way I'm screaming it out to the world. And comment if you read this cause it took half an hour to write.
Steve, I love you, and I hope you will know that no matter how far time takes us and no matter how far apart we become in the future. I will always love you, that's my final promise.
It seems that no matter what happens, you will always want to love me the way you do at this very moment - no matter how much my parents might try to push us apart your feelings will still stay strong, and my feelings will always, forever, stay strong. Don't let that change. You might be about the best thing that's ever happened in my entire life - I'm allowed to think for myself and do what I want to, although I am constantly held back by others.
I am held back by my parents and nothing else. Those who care about me and want to protect me for the many years to come. I am their precious daughter who will go off into this world and supposedly do great things; she will go to an amazing college and I shouldn't be wasting time in high school with things about boyfriends and whatnot.
But I believe I should be. Not just to get some experience and a first kiss, but to find out what I want later in life that will help me with this whole marriage process. I should be able to do what I want if it means that I follow my heart. My actions make up who I am. My decision are who I am, and I will pay the consequences for myself, for following my own heart. Not anybody else's, but mine.
And so... when you tell me all these things that warm my heart up like it's never lit up before, I feel safe. Like I want to stay with you forever. You know the perfect things to say to make me realize that I'll be safe. The perfect things to make me smile, never to cry. And if I cry, it's the good kind. You always give me some sort of cushion to fall back upon and I love it. I love you and all you've done for me.
When you said that if you meet my parents and they end up hating you, your feelings would never change for me. Those are by far, the most powerful words I've ever seen typed upon the screen, and they're not for anybody else, but for me. Like I mean something to people. People like you who would bother to care. People who would bother to go through all this trouble and make way for me... it makes me feel floaty.
Words cannot describe how much you mean to me. And even the most random act of kindness that you've shown me always means so much. I want to make you smile as much as you've made me. As for now and forever, my heart is taken. By you.
I love you.