Merry (belated) Christmas to frozeneyes
This is very much not what I wanted to write. I'm so sorry Lettie, it's not actually what you requested, other then being Sawyer it's very different to what you requested, but I was so blocked and when I heard The Noose by A Perfect Circle, I instantly thought of Sawyer and got inspired. Beats me as to why, the song has been linked to Jack actually. ::sighshrug:: Anyway, if you don't like it/hate it just tell me and I'll try and write something else.
For:
frozeneyes
Title: Sink and Swallow
Rating: PG15
Pairing: none
Warnings: angsty and dark, implied character death
Request: Sawyer with the keywords sassafras, caramel, bohemian, sunshine, horses, blue, sex. I did use sunshine at the end.
He could feel something in the air as their boat came closer to the raft. It was heavy and stilted, and it was choking him. He wanted to do something, wanted to say something, but then the boat was there and they were all celebrating and he pushed the profound feeling of dread into the back of his mind.
And then things shifted again. Not happy, they weren’t rescued and the dangerous, sharp edge came back and the dread crept down him, from his mind, down his oesophagus and into his gut, where it settled like weight.
He was itching to grab his gun. He couldn’t remember how he got it for a moment, but then he remembered. Jack. The Doctor. The Hero. Jack the doctor hero gave him the gun to protect the boy.
And who was the boy again?
Right, Walt. He remembered now, he couldn’t believe he forgot where he was. These people were bad, they were going to take the boy and Sawyer had to stop them with the gun Jack the hero doctor gave to him. And he was itching to grab it again but he waited, he bided his time and he remembered.
He remembers why he was on the flight in the first place. That’s right, the real Sawyer. Only it wasn’t him, he was set up. The player got played, and it feels like a poetic justice, but Sawyer - James - can’t remember why.
He killed him, the fake Sawyer killed the fake Sawyer. That was poetic too, and ironic. And now Sawyer remembers why he was really on the island. Forget the crash, forget everything but for the fact he was a murderer. He killed the fake Sawyer, and this is his punishment.
His punishment. The fugitive’s punishment. The drug addict’s punishment. The lying wife’s punishment. The incestuous siblings punishment. So many bad people and this is why he is here, itching to grab his gun while these people beside him - his friends? - were vulnerable.
Now he’s reaching for the gun although he knows it’s too late. It’s a lost cause, but he goes for it anyway. As his hand wraps around the handle, he hears a bang and then there’s a pain in his shoulder and he’s flying. Flying, flying away, and with a crash he’s in the ocean. Goodbye Sawyer, goodbye James, he’s nothing now and as he closes his eyes, it’s not the dark, murky sea that he sees, but sunshine, bright and hot. Just another moment more of suffering, for an eternity of peace.
He sinks, and the ocean swallows.
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Thank god that was the last fic for Christmas. Now I can start plotting my own ideas, and maybe dabble more in original fics (I didn't write enough original last year). I'd like to write more Claire/Locke, and also get a bit more practice with slash. If I post another poll asking everyone's opinions on the subject of what to write next, I expect response, LOL.
Also, that other poll is open til tomorrow and I expect more then two votes.