LJ Idol Black Rainbow
"There's my girl." It was a simple, three word phrase that wouldn't mean anything to anyone, but to her it meant that she was special and wanted. Just being in each other's presence transported them from reality to a world that belonged to only them. It was a happy world where he didn't belong to another, and his words weren't empty. Deep down, she knew. She knew it was wrong. Every fiber in her being was telling her that he wasn't the one, but she couldn't pull herself away.
When he said, "I love you," she was ecstatically giddy. He said it to her over and over again just so he could see her face light up like she was a child opening presents on Christmas, but she knew. He said those words too easily. Most people have to build up the courage to say those words. For him, it was as natural as breathing. In the moment, in their world, she didn't care. Their world blocked out logic and reasoning, so in the moment, those words were real.
The fantasy world that they created together faded back to reality once she was alone. The ability to think logically returned, and something wasn't right. No matter how hard her heart tried to convince her that what she felt was real, she still knew. He didn't mean those words. It kept nagging at her, so she had to find out. She knew the answer, but there was this strange hope that she held onto that whispered to her that maybe, just this once, there was something real behind his words.
As she waited for his reply, her heart jumped between hope and despair. What if he says that he meant it? He didn't mean it though. He told her that he just wanted to see her happy, and saying those words made her happy. It was expected, the answer he gave her, but it didn't ease the heartbreak that she felt.
Stupidly, despite the disappointment and heartbreak, she held out hope that he felt something for her. He went through the motions, so she convinced herself that there was something there. Her faulty logic and his sweet words meant to make her happy made him all the more alluring to her.
Though, one day, despite the immense desire to contact him, she stopped. It started as an experiment. What would he do if she stopped contacting him? Like always, she knew the answer, but that lingering hope that she had just began to realize he fed her by going through the motions, told her that this time would be different. This time he would meet her expectations, but he didn't. As expected, silence was her answer, and she finally saw him for what he was: a black rainbow.