Fear is the heart of love.
The sounds of cheers, laughter, anger, and drunken ramblings could almost drown out the sound of insipid music that filled the smoke saturated air. Even with the smoke permeated air, the smells of perfume, cologne, and the lack thereof managed to invade the nostrils. Dazzling and flashing lights mingled with the sounds of digitized reels falling serve as a distraction to befuddle the mind as money trickles from the pockets of the poor and hopeful into the pockets of the rich and greedy. It is difficult to distinguish someone amid the mob of inadequately controlled chaos, but every once in awhile a resplendent gem will stand out among the crowd.
A navy colored, Seahawks ball cap adorned his head. Traces of his trimmed black hair could be seen near the base of his neck. A gray, Nike hoodie with tiny black speckles covered his broad chest and shoulders. The hem of a faded light blue t-shirt could be seen underneath. Faded light blue jeans with frayed ends cascaded down his muscular legs. Simple white Jordans relaxed comfortably upon his feet. Under the brim of his hat, his monolid brown eyes were focused and stern. His complexion was youthful, but he was slowly coming into age. While he normally wore a neutral expression, every once in awhile a glint of metal could be seen when he smiled.
I can't help but laugh at the pretty prose I just wrote. It sounds as if I am madly in love with the man described above. The reality of the situation is that I am harboring a crush. This crush wasn't something that I intended to happen (not that anyone intends to develop feelings for someone). Now that it is here, there isn't much I can do about it.
As with any crush, it is a nice feeling in the beginning. I find myself trying just a little bit harder so that I can show my crush my best side. Whenever I see him, my heart beats faster. I also find myself day dreaming about things that could (but most likely won't) happen. The longer the crush lasts without any progress, self doubt settles in. Fear of so many things (rejection, embarrassment, driving him away, etc..) floods the mind until I feel as if I am going insane.
I think I can understand how fear is the heart of love (even though I'm not in love). My fear is that I am going to drive him away (even though I am the least intimidating person ever) if I act on my feelings. That leads to possible heartbreak. Though, maybe heartbreak, while I fear the pain, is better than the uncertainly I feel now. I suppose I just need to open myself up to the possibility of heartbreak. I might end up pleasantly surprised.
A navy colored, Seahawks ball cap adorned his head. Traces of his trimmed black hair could be seen near the base of his neck. A gray, Nike hoodie with tiny black speckles covered his broad chest and shoulders. The hem of a faded light blue t-shirt could be seen underneath. Faded light blue jeans with frayed ends cascaded down his muscular legs. Simple white Jordans relaxed comfortably upon his feet. Under the brim of his hat, his monolid brown eyes were focused and stern. His complexion was youthful, but he was slowly coming into age. While he normally wore a neutral expression, every once in awhile a glint of metal could be seen when he smiled.
I can't help but laugh at the pretty prose I just wrote. It sounds as if I am madly in love with the man described above. The reality of the situation is that I am harboring a crush. This crush wasn't something that I intended to happen (not that anyone intends to develop feelings for someone). Now that it is here, there isn't much I can do about it.
As with any crush, it is a nice feeling in the beginning. I find myself trying just a little bit harder so that I can show my crush my best side. Whenever I see him, my heart beats faster. I also find myself day dreaming about things that could (but most likely won't) happen. The longer the crush lasts without any progress, self doubt settles in. Fear of so many things (rejection, embarrassment, driving him away, etc..) floods the mind until I feel as if I am going insane.
I think I can understand how fear is the heart of love (even though I'm not in love). My fear is that I am going to drive him away (even though I am the least intimidating person ever) if I act on my feelings. That leads to possible heartbreak. Though, maybe heartbreak, while I fear the pain, is better than the uncertainly I feel now. I suppose I just need to open myself up to the possibility of heartbreak. I might end up pleasantly surprised.