(no subject)
i'm lonely. not lonely like nobody likes me, and i hate my life. just got the late night lonelyness. hah. i do this too often. can't fall asleep, sit here by myself, just wanting to talk to somebody.
i want to start school already. i'm registering asap for the the next semester.
life is so confusing. they're is so many things to do. but i'm just too fucking lazy. i don't even know if it's lazyness or i'm just a loser. if i could learn how to save my money, i could be doing so many things. traveling, school, having a car, etc.
i think i'm just a failure. sometimes i think about it, and i'm really not all that intelligent. not saying i'm dumb, i think i have more then enough common sense, i just don't think i have very much intelligence. maybe if i would have cared when i was in school, to learn what i was being taught, instead of just letting it go in one ear and out the other. i dooon't know.
i have also come to the conclusion that i don't know how to make friends. everyone around me seems to be able to make friends so easily. i literally have like, three. maybe four. i'm not sure if it's me, or them. maybe i'm just not the type of person people want to be friends with. i don't see why that would be. nobody really ever gets to know me. maybe i won't let them. maybe i give up, and dont care anymore. maybe i'm lieing.
so many random things are going through my head. sometimes i wish i could just explain every last feeling in my head to somebody. theres so many floating around in there.
i wish some things were different.
i wish i knew what the fuck i'm doing with my life. i feel i'm wasting too much time on nothing. it's nice. but i'm anxious for life to start already.
i want to start school already. i'm registering asap for the the next semester.
life is so confusing. they're is so many things to do. but i'm just too fucking lazy. i don't even know if it's lazyness or i'm just a loser. if i could learn how to save my money, i could be doing so many things. traveling, school, having a car, etc.
i think i'm just a failure. sometimes i think about it, and i'm really not all that intelligent. not saying i'm dumb, i think i have more then enough common sense, i just don't think i have very much intelligence. maybe if i would have cared when i was in school, to learn what i was being taught, instead of just letting it go in one ear and out the other. i dooon't know.
i have also come to the conclusion that i don't know how to make friends. everyone around me seems to be able to make friends so easily. i literally have like, three. maybe four. i'm not sure if it's me, or them. maybe i'm just not the type of person people want to be friends with. i don't see why that would be. nobody really ever gets to know me. maybe i won't let them. maybe i give up, and dont care anymore. maybe i'm lieing.
so many random things are going through my head. sometimes i wish i could just explain every last feeling in my head to somebody. theres so many floating around in there.
i wish some things were different.
i wish i knew what the fuck i'm doing with my life. i feel i'm wasting too much time on nothing. it's nice. but i'm anxious for life to start already.