it has been months since i have been able to use a computer which i can hook up my scanner to and now i have a mountain of nearly 25 rolls of film to scan in and work with
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i cant wait to see them either! i dont get prints made up, i just get my film developed... so its always a gift to see what comes out and what comes out better than expected! i seriously think you should continue with photography. youve a great eye for beauty in the ordinary, which is great. also a great way to document and remember for the future, your adventures these days. besides, it would be a waste to have learned all of that technical stuff from lantz to just toss it away. if youre at a loss, maybe danny would let you borrow one of his film cameras? he has 2 or 3 at the moment if i remember correctly.. quite the beauties as well. he never did continue the hobby... might be worth a shot. movie nights! oh how i miss portland and everything it has to offer. :( NC is beautiful from what i see in pictures and hear.. i will be going to visit in one month or so... its cheap enough there at the moment to where i can buy my own house for cheap... have a place to call home while i travel about and do whatnot. though i still crave the east coast beauty... but NC has mountains. trees and hills.. lakes and oceans... much beauty to be explored minus the drama of an ex boyfriend that i do believe i have let destroy an entire city for me, though i promised myself i wouldnt allow it.... we shall see.
i was hoping that wasn't the reason you're turning away from portland. that makes me really sad. the kid is hands-down off, and i don't know if he's finally left you alone and stopped the text messages and whatnot. i'm not sure what he would do if you were to move here. i'm terribly sorry he mucked it up for you.
ah, well, at least you're not against visiting :D
i think i might spring for a camera by this friday because i'm going to the coast this weekend! so i have to figure out what kind is best for me asap!
eh. he still texts and sends myspace messages here and there. perhapes his new love interest will keep him busy for a few weeks before the next one gets sent. he runs in a circle with these things..
when it comes down to it though i suppose it is quite silly to let one person ruin such a place for me.. especially when i have so many other wonderful people there, with another friend on his way shortly.
only time will tell what this will all turn into. hows the situation at home?
i told danny to stop texting you. i told him he's just coming off as creepy and told him a similar situation i've been in for two years now.
portland misses you.
the home situation is okay. i hate feeling so temporary here. i feel like i have no privacy. i don't mean to be paranoid, but i feel like he looks in my room all the time or something. he apparently checks on my livejournal and myspace all the time to see if they're still private. i can't stand this. i can't stand the hatred i feel from him. i mean, at this point i hate him, but mainly because he doesn't understand i need privacy, a life of my own and to not be judged. just in the past few weeks i have made so many friends and have been going out a lot and i'm so much happier. this thing with living here is crap because i can't even invite people to come over and hang out. even if he's not here, i feel so uncomfortable being here just alone.
i havent actually spoken to him in a while, but i doubt he feels hatred towards you. im sorry you feel that though. i understand about the not feeling at home part.. ive felt like that many times... even with jobs and friends and relationships.. it all passes in time. and your time will be soon :)
and with the danny thing, its not so much creepy as it is insulting. after all of what he did he has no shame?? hes going to pretend nothing happened? thats where i see no room for friendship with him. hes wasnt there for me when my best friend attempted suicide, when i needed someone to talk to, when i placed first in photography at the art show, when i was on the other side of the US missing him and getting money together to move to PDX to be with him.. he wasnt around for me until he had sex with 5 other girls and i was in town... back tending to his every desire with my body as well as my money.
i seriously think you should continue with photography. youve a great eye for beauty in the ordinary, which is great. also a great way to document and remember for the future, your adventures these days. besides, it would be a waste to have learned all of that technical stuff from lantz to just toss it away.
if youre at a loss, maybe danny would let you borrow one of his film cameras? he has 2 or 3 at the moment if i remember correctly.. quite the beauties as well. he never did continue the hobby... might be worth a shot.
movie nights! oh how i miss portland and everything it has to offer. :(
NC is beautiful from what i see in pictures and hear.. i will be going to visit in one month or so... its cheap enough there at the moment to where i can buy my own house for cheap... have a place to call home while i travel about and do whatnot. though i still crave the east coast beauty... but NC has mountains. trees and hills.. lakes and oceans... much beauty to be explored minus the drama of an ex boyfriend that i do believe i have let destroy an entire city for me, though i promised myself i wouldnt allow it.... we shall see.
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ah, well, at least you're not against visiting :D
i think i might spring for a camera by this friday because i'm going to the coast this weekend! so i have to figure out what kind is best for me asap!
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when it comes down to it though i suppose it is quite silly to let one person ruin such a place for me.. especially when i have so many other wonderful people there, with another friend on his way shortly.
only time will tell what this will all turn into.
hows the situation at home?
Reply
portland misses you.
the home situation is okay. i hate feeling so temporary here. i feel like i have no privacy. i don't mean to be paranoid, but i feel like he looks in my room all the time or something. he apparently checks on my livejournal and myspace all the time to see if they're still private. i can't stand this. i can't stand the hatred i feel from him. i mean, at this point i hate him, but mainly because he doesn't understand i need privacy, a life of my own and to not be judged. just in the past few weeks i have made so many friends and have been going out a lot and i'm so much happier. this thing with living here is crap because i can't even invite people to come over and hang out. even if he's not here, i feel so uncomfortable being here just alone.
blah
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