"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live, remember that." JK Rowling.
matthew summed it up tonight while i was on the phone with my mother and he was talking to his friend.
its funny how my father is a complete asshole, but my mother is the sweetest woman ever.
he then said he's disgusted that we will be attending the wedding tomorrow. i couldnt agree more.
dear dad,
you are the scum of scum. you do not deserve anything but shit.
your only blood daughter,
deanna.
my mother is a saint. i have no idea how, but she is coming up with 500 dollars for my lawyer fee. she told me it will just be taken from other things..[which scares the living shit out of me. idk where it's coming from. 500 dollars to us is like 5 grand to other families]... [you all have it so well]... [not that i'm saying i have the worst life ever, but it's rough]. as long as i pay her back as soon as i can. because my dickhead father will not help at all. because [boo-hoo] he wasn't told the whole situation in full detail after it happened. yeah? why would i tell you i fucked up again? why would i want to show you i'm just like you? and why on earth would i ever want to talk to you again?
it sickens me that tomorrow at 4:30 i will be seeing his fiancee walking down the aisle and becoming my new stepmother. and [like cinderella] i will have 3 stepsisters.
will they be in any way family?
no. i have my family. my brother and my mother. they are all i need as family. fuck being "daddys little girl" my wedding day my brother will be walking me down the beach to my Matthew. not my fucking father. fuck tradition. a father wouldnt leave me in the situation he left me in tonight.
i'm hoping to have 2 jobs by sunday evening. please please please.
i'm actually legitimately upset that matthew and i wont be attending his formal anymore. i had an amazing time last semester at it and this one will be so much better. its in AC and we get a hotel room for the night. open bar and buffet. the whole one side of the "ballroom" is windows overlooking the beach and the ocean. and i've gotten so excited about it, i even spent money, that was meant to be for getting a nice haircut and such for the wedding this weekend, on a dress that i LOVE and looks spectacular on me. sucks. because he also has to ask his family for the lawyer fee and thinks that extra money for formal will be a big deal with them.. which i doubt because 1 they are rich as hell 2 he can pay them back real soon and 3 they would be well aware that itd be a once in a lifetime event and they know how much we adore each other. so i guess i'll be returning the dress and putting the money right in the bank to start off my payback2mom fund. i hope i can return it. its going to suck returning it, i really did love the dress more than any other dress i've worn. it accented my body so well [which is ridiculously hard to find]. you try to put a dress on huge tits and wide hips but no tummy a long torso and skinny legs. and make it actually form-fitting. and looking good.
idunno. i wish he would've tried to get money from them, or saved the money he makes everyday for it. but today was the payment deadline. and that is that. just really wouldve been nice to get all dressed up FOR him and have a great night together and be stress-free for just one goddamn night. =[
its funny how my father is a complete asshole, but my mother is the sweetest woman ever.
he then said he's disgusted that we will be attending the wedding tomorrow. i couldnt agree more.
dear dad,
you are the scum of scum. you do not deserve anything but shit.
your only blood daughter,
deanna.
my mother is a saint. i have no idea how, but she is coming up with 500 dollars for my lawyer fee. she told me it will just be taken from other things..[which scares the living shit out of me. idk where it's coming from. 500 dollars to us is like 5 grand to other families]... [you all have it so well]... [not that i'm saying i have the worst life ever, but it's rough]. as long as i pay her back as soon as i can. because my dickhead father will not help at all. because [boo-hoo] he wasn't told the whole situation in full detail after it happened. yeah? why would i tell you i fucked up again? why would i want to show you i'm just like you? and why on earth would i ever want to talk to you again?
it sickens me that tomorrow at 4:30 i will be seeing his fiancee walking down the aisle and becoming my new stepmother. and [like cinderella] i will have 3 stepsisters.
will they be in any way family?
no. i have my family. my brother and my mother. they are all i need as family. fuck being "daddys little girl" my wedding day my brother will be walking me down the beach to my Matthew. not my fucking father. fuck tradition. a father wouldnt leave me in the situation he left me in tonight.
i'm hoping to have 2 jobs by sunday evening. please please please.
i'm actually legitimately upset that matthew and i wont be attending his formal anymore. i had an amazing time last semester at it and this one will be so much better. its in AC and we get a hotel room for the night. open bar and buffet. the whole one side of the "ballroom" is windows overlooking the beach and the ocean. and i've gotten so excited about it, i even spent money, that was meant to be for getting a nice haircut and such for the wedding this weekend, on a dress that i LOVE and looks spectacular on me. sucks. because he also has to ask his family for the lawyer fee and thinks that extra money for formal will be a big deal with them.. which i doubt because 1 they are rich as hell 2 he can pay them back real soon and 3 they would be well aware that itd be a once in a lifetime event and they know how much we adore each other. so i guess i'll be returning the dress and putting the money right in the bank to start off my payback2mom fund. i hope i can return it. its going to suck returning it, i really did love the dress more than any other dress i've worn. it accented my body so well [which is ridiculously hard to find]. you try to put a dress on huge tits and wide hips but no tummy a long torso and skinny legs. and make it actually form-fitting. and looking good.
idunno. i wish he would've tried to get money from them, or saved the money he makes everyday for it. but today was the payment deadline. and that is that. just really wouldve been nice to get all dressed up FOR him and have a great night together and be stress-free for just one goddamn night. =[