FIC: No Fit - 1/1, Actor RPF, PG, Jake/Orlando
Title: No Fit
Author: Jo (jo@fadedink.com)
Fandom: Actor RPF
Pairing: Orlando Bloom/Jake Gyllenhaal
Rating: PG
Word count: 228
Summary: Orlando and Jake are up to more shenanigans.
Disclaimer: Fiction, folks. But if you believe this really happened, I've got some prime real estate I wanna sell you…
Author's Notes: The 18th Day of Christmas for giselleslash because these boys are adorable together.
"That doesn't go there."
"Sure it does."
"No, Orli, it really doesn't."
"Yes, it does, see...oh."
"I to-"
"If you say 'I told you so' so help me God..."
"I wasn't going to!"
"You're a lying liar."
"So what're you... Um."
"Um? That's not bloody helping."
"It doesn't go there, either."
"How do you know?"
"It won't fit."
"And you know this how?"
"I tried."
"...you tried?"
"Yeah, where do you think all the lube went?"
"All the...no, nevermind, I'm not going to ask."
"You know you want to."
"I don't."
"You will."
"I won't."
"Yeah huh."
"Nuh uh."
"I'll just be in the bedroom then."
"Coward."
"Self-preservationist."
"Asshole."
"I...okay, yes, but that still doesn't go there!"
"Okay, seriously, why the fuck did you use all the lube?"
"To try to make it fit!"
"That doesn't make...oh. Oh, shit."
"Oh, shit?"
"Um."
"Now I'm nervous."
"No, no, it's all good."
"Now who's the lying liar?"
"It is, see!"
"Oh. Wow. Is that...?"
"Yeah."
"Damn."
"Yeah."
"You're fucked."
"Me? It was your idea!"
"How was this my idea?"
"You said use the lube!"
"No, I said I used it all trying!"
"Fuck."
"Yeah, basically."
"I could say it was an accident."
"You could."
"You'll back me up?"
"I wasn't even in here."
"No one will know! I'll make it worth it."
"Yeah?"
"Oh, yeah."
"Deal."
Author: Jo (jo@fadedink.com)
Fandom: Actor RPF
Pairing: Orlando Bloom/Jake Gyllenhaal
Rating: PG
Word count: 228
Summary: Orlando and Jake are up to more shenanigans.
Disclaimer: Fiction, folks. But if you believe this really happened, I've got some prime real estate I wanna sell you…
Author's Notes: The 18th Day of Christmas for giselleslash because these boys are adorable together.
"That doesn't go there."
"Sure it does."
"No, Orli, it really doesn't."
"Yes, it does, see...oh."
"I to-"
"If you say 'I told you so' so help me God..."
"I wasn't going to!"
"You're a lying liar."
"So what're you... Um."
"Um? That's not bloody helping."
"It doesn't go there, either."
"How do you know?"
"It won't fit."
"And you know this how?"
"I tried."
"...you tried?"
"Yeah, where do you think all the lube went?"
"All the...no, nevermind, I'm not going to ask."
"You know you want to."
"I don't."
"You will."
"I won't."
"Yeah huh."
"Nuh uh."
"I'll just be in the bedroom then."
"Coward."
"Self-preservationist."
"Asshole."
"I...okay, yes, but that still doesn't go there!"
"Okay, seriously, why the fuck did you use all the lube?"
"To try to make it fit!"
"That doesn't make...oh. Oh, shit."
"Oh, shit?"
"Um."
"Now I'm nervous."
"No, no, it's all good."
"Now who's the lying liar?"
"It is, see!"
"Oh. Wow. Is that...?"
"Yeah."
"Damn."
"Yeah."
"You're fucked."
"Me? It was your idea!"
"How was this my idea?"
"You said use the lube!"
"No, I said I used it all trying!"
"Fuck."
"Yeah, basically."
"I could say it was an accident."
"You could."
"You'll back me up?"
"I wasn't even in here."
"No one will know! I'll make it worth it."
"Yeah?"
"Oh, yeah."
"Deal."