a half-goodbye to my alma mater facker
Alright, I promised myself I wouldn't write an entry about 'leaving college', but I've been struggling to get to sleep for a good half hour and I just felt I needed to get this off my cranium. Lately, I've been getting that feeling I get when I'm about to leave on a trip. Cold feet, tingly insides--subtle symptoms of anxiety. It's a good feeling I guess, because I've been dreaming about this moment since I figured out school was a bad place to be in (which is, uh, when I was about 5 and kids were mean) and though there's this huge possibility that I might not graduate YET 'cause of the heartless prick who holds my fate in his bony hands, I feel like I can keep my sanity with just one class to extend ONE sem for.
I'm a weird and lucky case though, 'cause I pretty much have everything mapped out for myself--that I have something to show for four years of whining and complaining that I'm sure everyone is tired of and that has defined me as a student of THE Ateneo. Siguro naman. I could do a lot of things, and I've chosen to narrow things down VERY SPECIFICALLY. It's a good thing. It's just that this is exactly what I felt when I left high school. And the funny thing is that although I had everything mapped out when I was the first to step out of my classroom the moment the last bell of my senior year rang, took one last look at that godforsaken flagpole, and drove off into that oddly beautiful afternoon sun (the only memory I have of that day), I absolutely did not know that I would be where I am right now or that I'd stick my dick into a lot of different things (figuratively speaking). I guess that's why I'm anxious. And for every tingle and unshakeable bit of uncertainty, I think it's gonna be a pretty good trip. I can really feel it.
I'm a weird and lucky case though, 'cause I pretty much have everything mapped out for myself--that I have something to show for four years of whining and complaining that I'm sure everyone is tired of and that has defined me as a student of THE Ateneo. Siguro naman. I could do a lot of things, and I've chosen to narrow things down VERY SPECIFICALLY. It's a good thing. It's just that this is exactly what I felt when I left high school. And the funny thing is that although I had everything mapped out when I was the first to step out of my classroom the moment the last bell of my senior year rang, took one last look at that godforsaken flagpole, and drove off into that oddly beautiful afternoon sun (the only memory I have of that day), I absolutely did not know that I would be where I am right now or that I'd stick my dick into a lot of different things (figuratively speaking). I guess that's why I'm anxious. And for every tingle and unshakeable bit of uncertainty, I think it's gonna be a pretty good trip. I can really feel it.