Times changing... and so am I
Well I'm not sure where this is going to start or end. Not quite a story or monolongue that has a definate beginning or end except in my birth and death does my story end. I have come to realize I truely resent just about every member of my family for one reason or another. Well lets start with my uncle Ron. A distingished indivdual with a PhD. He is an international teacher. He has worked in the US in florida but also in Haiti, Ivory coast africa and most recently in indonesia. But when it has come to family things are much different. But for as long as I can remember he comes and goes like a hurricane, first comes the prep where everyone has to make sure things are right for him. Then comes the emotional aspect. My mom always has this fear that nothing will be right or somethin will go wrong and that just pisses me off. Then he comes in and everything is about him. The planets no longer revolve around the sun for those few weeks he's in. Then there is my uncle Jim. Haven't seen him around in 6-10 years pops in every so often. Then there is my mom who is the biggest pesimeist I know. Nothing is right but does nothing to resolve any issues other then sit back in her chair eat and watch tv. And I just look at things and now that my grandma is on the verge of death they come around and just want the money. I know they care about her thats not the issue. But what bothers me is that they don't realize the burdon on me my mom and my bother. My grandma and I played her very last game of golf together. I made sure she was feed. I made sure she went to the hospital when she broke her wrist. Then I look at things like Steve my boss taught me to throw my first football when I was 16 and he taught me how to shoot a basketball or not to care about women and just have fun. and yet my family demands respect but my patients are getting paper thin. I have so much resentment for them for trying to tell me how to live my life when i'm 20 as opposed to teaching me when I was growing up. And after tomorrow my uncle ron is gone and were left with watching and the care of my grandma. Who knows when jim will be around. I can't imagine anytime soon. I just know its going to take a wrong word or disrespect towards me and I'm going to tell them exactly how I feel but not in a manner they are going to like. My God I just wish things would be easier but then again that wouldn't be life. I was raised without a father for a reason but I do know that because of these things I WILL be the best man in the family and do everything that I never had from a father with my children. Cus I know I won't have a family by myside. Well things will work out but in due time.