Just another random paper
Sweet fragrances of recently cut roses swirl about the room. Scarlet hues dance from sill to ceiling, bringing calmness to the storm. I can hear my heart echo in the serenity around me. Silk soothes my battered hands as I childishly drag my hand on the flowing tapestry strewn to comfort a broken heart. Seclusion rips into the walls of my heart as I sit at my funeral that no one is concerned to attend. My tattered heart weeps, no longer comparable to Eden but to rancid blood soaked fields of war.
Tears flow freely down my frayed face. A dark cloud follows my every move, blocking out any sight of hope. The world around me is desolate and remorseless. I kneel in the cathedral of God, screaming for help, but not a single soul hears the dreadful shrills my heart cries out. The vaulted ceilings echo my cries of horror. Only if my heart could see what my eyes do. Immaculate marble cravings embrace the solid walls of faith. Scarlet, sapphire, emerald and gold rays rage through stained glass windows, filling the room with excitement and joy. Golden crosses grace the walls. Beautiful birch pews grace the white marble flooring. Patrons fill the halls with faith and joy. Elderly perfume mingles with the aroma of blossoming roses. Silk brushes against anyone who gazes into the stunning gardens, bringing a sense of happiness and hope to the lives of anyone willing to immerse themselves in church.
Yet the only sights my heart can see are of dread and despair. It looks around the cathedral seeing nothing that my eyes do. Dusty cob webs cover cracked and crumbling walls. Radiance cannot penetrate through the casements. The stained glass windows are shattered and bordered up with shameful care. Tarnished crosses cracked and thrown like throwing stars cover the filthy rotting floorboards. Chairs that haven’t been sat in for years envelop the grounds. Rats scurry around their comfortable home. Homeless men ball up in every nook and cranny looking for some kind of shelter. Those rancid rats become the staple of their diet. The leaking font, where holy water used to be kept, is now community bathroom. The build up of waste combined with the rotten aroma of the homeless churns the day’s meals. My heart has become so cynical to the world that it can no longer feel love. Only a seed from God could bring back the Garden of Eden.
The loneliness of my heart has become so strong that it has become the size of the universe. It will always be mostly empty. Its vast reaches can never be reached or filled. It dreams of what it would be like to quench its thirst for love, wondering what it would be like to be content and happy. My heart closes its eyes and dreams of a world in which would bring some calmness to the storm.
Warm spring rays shed the wrath of winter. Young birds glide and swoop into their new nests of love. Squirrels run around for the first time in months without freezing their little tails off. Sweet smells of flowers grace the temperate air. Bears come out of hibernation to explore and fill their empty stomachs with fresh fish and berries. Blue skies warm the eyes after seeing grey and black all winter long. Love flowing in the air. New lifelong relationships develop after being alone for so long. My heart just craves the love and affection of another, someone who is willing to give everything and expect nothing in return. All it wants is a life of happiness and excitement but then the sweet dream turns into anything but sweet, reality.
When it opens its eyes it sees something completely different. The dream is just a dream. Nothing has changed. Young birds are killed by heartless boys who are bored and want something to do. Those lovely squirrels it dreamed about run across the road, only to be slaughtered by a girl driving who is more concerned with her makeup then the life of an innocent. A mother bear fights to survive as the fish it looks to eat are poisoned by the heartless men and women who care little of the water they share. The berries that it looks to fill its stomach with have been burned down when a man threw his cigarette into the brush next to them. She goes back into her cave with nothing for her cubs. She grabs them together and falls into an eternal sleep. The skies are no longer blue but are grey and black with smoke from fires that engulf the world. My heart closes its eyes and tries to see something, anything different but it cannot.
The fire in my heart has been smothered. I can not recall the last happy day that my heart has seen. It needs someone who is gentle and caring. A woman who can grow my heart into the Garden of Eden like God intended. Everything is being clouded by the billowing smoke of world around me. My heart is looking for someone to love it and allow it run rampant. There are so many things in life that it has yet to experience. It wants a person is just as eager to appreciate life and growth like my heart wants to. The only problem is if the weather will erode the foundations set before someone can come along to nurture it. Only time will tell. Hopefully soon someone will come to my desolate heart and bring back life.
That special place I call my heart has become nothing more then a rotting piece of fruit. No longer able to give nourishment to anyone expect the ground. As the fruit hits the ground and becomes mush it begins a new cycle of life. It slowly releases its nutrients into the ground followed by seeds that will bring a new life. My heart is at that stage. That place that is supposed to be so special is rotting into the ground laying the nutrients, waiting for God to plant a new Eden. The earth has been plowed and is waiting.
My heart just wants to be loved, knowing that when God plants his eternal seed, life will blossom into something only seen in heart the is loved. It longs for that day, that day when it will be loved. Comparing it to the spring days that shed the left over blanket of winter. Or the days that young birds learn to fly. The day that squirrels run around looking for their first fresh meal, not the frozen dinner’s they had become accustomed to. Or when fresh flowers pierce the virgin ground for the first time, bringing color and splendor to a black and grey world. When mother bears come out to explore and fill the empty stomachs of their cubs back in den. Blue skies warm the gloomy landscape. Love flowing with the winds of time. It just hopes that its day will come soon for it has died.
It hopes that the house of God will no longer be corrupt. It wishes for resolve in issues that affect everyone and not just selfish pleasures of man. But when will this ever happen?
It wonders if what it truly dreams of is so hard. It wants people to love a person for who they are rather then what they look like or what they carry in their wallet. My heart closes its eyes one last time. It goes back to the funeral that no one cared to attend. My heart walks to the coffin that lies graciously near the alter. It opens the doors and moves the pillow to the head of the coffin. It slowly moves into the casket an inch at a time, making itself comfortable for the last time. It rises one last time to see the world that it hates. It closes the casket and shuts its eyes for the last time. Hoping that its day will come and someone to love it and waken it from its slumber. The ground has been plowed and the coffin settled into the earth. The day love reaches my heart, the Garden of Eden will envy what will grow in my heart. I just yearn that my heart will survive its slumber.
Tears flow freely down my frayed face. A dark cloud follows my every move, blocking out any sight of hope. The world around me is desolate and remorseless. I kneel in the cathedral of God, screaming for help, but not a single soul hears the dreadful shrills my heart cries out. The vaulted ceilings echo my cries of horror. Only if my heart could see what my eyes do. Immaculate marble cravings embrace the solid walls of faith. Scarlet, sapphire, emerald and gold rays rage through stained glass windows, filling the room with excitement and joy. Golden crosses grace the walls. Beautiful birch pews grace the white marble flooring. Patrons fill the halls with faith and joy. Elderly perfume mingles with the aroma of blossoming roses. Silk brushes against anyone who gazes into the stunning gardens, bringing a sense of happiness and hope to the lives of anyone willing to immerse themselves in church.
Yet the only sights my heart can see are of dread and despair. It looks around the cathedral seeing nothing that my eyes do. Dusty cob webs cover cracked and crumbling walls. Radiance cannot penetrate through the casements. The stained glass windows are shattered and bordered up with shameful care. Tarnished crosses cracked and thrown like throwing stars cover the filthy rotting floorboards. Chairs that haven’t been sat in for years envelop the grounds. Rats scurry around their comfortable home. Homeless men ball up in every nook and cranny looking for some kind of shelter. Those rancid rats become the staple of their diet. The leaking font, where holy water used to be kept, is now community bathroom. The build up of waste combined with the rotten aroma of the homeless churns the day’s meals. My heart has become so cynical to the world that it can no longer feel love. Only a seed from God could bring back the Garden of Eden.
The loneliness of my heart has become so strong that it has become the size of the universe. It will always be mostly empty. Its vast reaches can never be reached or filled. It dreams of what it would be like to quench its thirst for love, wondering what it would be like to be content and happy. My heart closes its eyes and dreams of a world in which would bring some calmness to the storm.
Warm spring rays shed the wrath of winter. Young birds glide and swoop into their new nests of love. Squirrels run around for the first time in months without freezing their little tails off. Sweet smells of flowers grace the temperate air. Bears come out of hibernation to explore and fill their empty stomachs with fresh fish and berries. Blue skies warm the eyes after seeing grey and black all winter long. Love flowing in the air. New lifelong relationships develop after being alone for so long. My heart just craves the love and affection of another, someone who is willing to give everything and expect nothing in return. All it wants is a life of happiness and excitement but then the sweet dream turns into anything but sweet, reality.
When it opens its eyes it sees something completely different. The dream is just a dream. Nothing has changed. Young birds are killed by heartless boys who are bored and want something to do. Those lovely squirrels it dreamed about run across the road, only to be slaughtered by a girl driving who is more concerned with her makeup then the life of an innocent. A mother bear fights to survive as the fish it looks to eat are poisoned by the heartless men and women who care little of the water they share. The berries that it looks to fill its stomach with have been burned down when a man threw his cigarette into the brush next to them. She goes back into her cave with nothing for her cubs. She grabs them together and falls into an eternal sleep. The skies are no longer blue but are grey and black with smoke from fires that engulf the world. My heart closes its eyes and tries to see something, anything different but it cannot.
The fire in my heart has been smothered. I can not recall the last happy day that my heart has seen. It needs someone who is gentle and caring. A woman who can grow my heart into the Garden of Eden like God intended. Everything is being clouded by the billowing smoke of world around me. My heart is looking for someone to love it and allow it run rampant. There are so many things in life that it has yet to experience. It wants a person is just as eager to appreciate life and growth like my heart wants to. The only problem is if the weather will erode the foundations set before someone can come along to nurture it. Only time will tell. Hopefully soon someone will come to my desolate heart and bring back life.
That special place I call my heart has become nothing more then a rotting piece of fruit. No longer able to give nourishment to anyone expect the ground. As the fruit hits the ground and becomes mush it begins a new cycle of life. It slowly releases its nutrients into the ground followed by seeds that will bring a new life. My heart is at that stage. That place that is supposed to be so special is rotting into the ground laying the nutrients, waiting for God to plant a new Eden. The earth has been plowed and is waiting.
My heart just wants to be loved, knowing that when God plants his eternal seed, life will blossom into something only seen in heart the is loved. It longs for that day, that day when it will be loved. Comparing it to the spring days that shed the left over blanket of winter. Or the days that young birds learn to fly. The day that squirrels run around looking for their first fresh meal, not the frozen dinner’s they had become accustomed to. Or when fresh flowers pierce the virgin ground for the first time, bringing color and splendor to a black and grey world. When mother bears come out to explore and fill the empty stomachs of their cubs back in den. Blue skies warm the gloomy landscape. Love flowing with the winds of time. It just hopes that its day will come soon for it has died.
It hopes that the house of God will no longer be corrupt. It wishes for resolve in issues that affect everyone and not just selfish pleasures of man. But when will this ever happen?
It wonders if what it truly dreams of is so hard. It wants people to love a person for who they are rather then what they look like or what they carry in their wallet. My heart closes its eyes one last time. It goes back to the funeral that no one cared to attend. My heart walks to the coffin that lies graciously near the alter. It opens the doors and moves the pillow to the head of the coffin. It slowly moves into the casket an inch at a time, making itself comfortable for the last time. It rises one last time to see the world that it hates. It closes the casket and shuts its eyes for the last time. Hoping that its day will come and someone to love it and waken it from its slumber. The ground has been plowed and the coffin settled into the earth. The day love reaches my heart, the Garden of Eden will envy what will grow in my heart. I just yearn that my heart will survive its slumber.