(no subject)
Cold and alone I lay in my bed crying my last sapphire droplets as the hot crimson tears stream down my hand. I close my eyes for the last time as the blanket of the night covers my eternity. I open my eyes to find myself kneeling at the pearly gates of heaven. I scream out to God and the angels before me “What the fuck did I do to deserve so much pain and loneliness in my life? Did I do nothing to ever experience happiness or love? Was nothing I ever did good enough for you or anyone else? I tried to be the best person I could. Helping my friends in need and trying to be a caring and loving person. Why is it that no one love me or care for me? How could I have been so wrong about myself?” A brilliant colorless light streams from beyond the gates and a voice calls out to me. “Let me show you how much you did in your life.” Suddenly I’m standing at my funeral where no one cares to attend. Only the priest and his wife say a prayer for a forgotten soul. God then asks me “If you were this sweet and caring person like you say you were then how come no one would come to say goodbye?” After a flood of emotions I realize that everything I did meant nothing and that I deserved the life that I got. There was no one that I had touched in my life. The Lord then speaks out and says “Why would I give you happiness or love? Nothing you did was for the benefit of anyone but yourself. You lived the life you sowed. You got what you deserved; loveless and in solitude.” Now only in my death I realize why everything I did meant nothing to anyone.