[btvs] when all else fails 9/9
For the proper author's header, please refer to part one
Chapter Nine:
They are roughly less than twelve hours away from Sunnydale. Twelve hours before they face Angelus and his minions. And Willow is oddly calm. Three days ago, she had thought that she would be full of nerves and terror but now that they are twelve hours away from Sunnydale, she is prepared for whatever happens.
For tonight they have found sanctuary in an abandoned church that is still consecrated. Even if Angelus were to send an army of vampires against them, they should be safe. Although all of them doubt that he will. Angelus is far too cocky to bring the battle to them. Instead he will wait at his mansion in Sunnydale, confident that he will win because the only time he’s ever lost was when the gypsies cursed him with his soul.
Willow sighs as she takes a seat in one of the pews that face the dusty altar. She’s not sure what she is supposed to be thinking as she stares up at the worn and tired face of the Virgin Mary. And she can’t help but wonder what Faith was thinking when she sat here an hour or so ago. Willow’s upbringing was rather lacking when it came to religion despite the fact that her parents would take her to the Synagogue on high holidays. Her parents were always more intellectual than religious.
“You’re thinking too hard,” Cordelia states as she sits down beside Willow.
“Then tell me what I am supposed to do?”
“I don’t really know to be honest. If my father had a god, it was money. And my mother was always too hung over on something to go to church on Sundays.”
Willow looks at the brunette in surprise. Cordelia smiles in response.
“Yeah my parents were rich when it came to money but I didn’t have this great family life. I was always so jealous of you, Xander and Jesse. I always wanted what you guys had.”
“You were jealous of us?”
Cordelia nods in response.
“Kind of silly now, isn’t it?”
“Very,” Willow replies.
“I think that regardless of what you believe that when you’re in a place like this, you’re just supposed to take comfort in the fact that life goes on. That evil never truly triumphs over good.”
“You might be right.”
“Of course, I am. Now I am off to find Oz.”
Cordelia gracefully stands up and for a moment, Willow is reminded of the snobby and bitchy cheerleader Cordelia once was. And then Cordelia smiles and gently grasps Willow’s shoulder.
“Don’t let your fear control you, Willow. Tomorrow none of us might survive, take the chance now while you still have it.”
* * *
Willow finds Faith in what must have been the room where the Sunday school was held. There is a chalkboard on one wall and a group of chairs stacked in the corner. The only light is from the sun that is streaming in through the high windows. Faith is standing by one of the shelves, a worn book in one hand as she stares off into the distant.
“Faith?” Willow asks.
Faith turns to face and Willow can see how the once cheerful and bold Slayer from Boston has changed. She feels the sharp piercing of guilt when she realizes that she has done this to Faith. She has put the weight of the world on Faith’s shoulders with her refusals to listen to any form of reason. Before she can say anything, Faith puts the book back on the shelf and starts to speak.
“When I was a kid, there was this elderly woman who lived in the apartment next to mine. She’d take me to St Mary’s every Sunday; she even had a little dress for me to wear. After Sunday school and the services, she’d take me to a fancy restaurant where she’d let me order anything I wanted. I’d always order the same thing over and over even though she’d tell me I could have anything. Sunday was always the best day for me. For two whole years, I looked forward to Sunday. I didn’t really believe in God, you know, but the fact that I was cared for and treated like I was special made me think that maybe she was right. Maybe that there was a God who cared about me and who thought I was special no matter what my Mom told me. And then my Mom got mad, she didn’t like this lady interfering in how she was raising her daughter. Mom sent over her boyfriend at the time, no doubt her current pimp, who roughed the old lady up. After that day, the lady moved out and never came back. And I stopped believing.”
Willow moves closer to Faith but the brunette turns to face her. The anger and pain written on her face stop Willow from moving any further.
“I know that I’m not anything special. When Diana came to me and told me about my destiny and that I was a Slayer, I knew that it didn’t make me any special. It just gave me a chance to get away from the trap that I was in. And then I met you, I thought that maybe I was special. I could tell that you liked me but you kept pushing me further away but everyone told me to keep trying because they thought you were confused. But I don’t know about that Willow. I don’t think you’re confused. Maybe you’re afraid, but I don’t want to keep playing this game with you anymore. Once we’re done, I am going back home.”
Faith steps closer to her. And Willow moves to touch and Faith recoils from the touch.
“Faith please,” Willow pleads.
“What do you want now, Willow? I am tired of trying to live up to the impossible.”
“I want you.”
“Are you certain? Or are you gonna tell me in a few minutes that you want me but you can’t because something else is standing in the away?”
“No,” Willow replies as she shakes her head.
“If I touch you, are you gonna push me away?”
“No,” Willow responds.
Faith gently cups Willow’s chin in her hand and she stares into Willow’s eyes. They are both uncertain of what to do next. Willow wants to move forward, to lean into Faith and to kiss her full lips but she’s afraid Faith will pull back from her.
“I want you,” Willow tells her.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
“And what about Angelus?”
“What about him?”
“Are you gonna tell me that you can’t be with because of him?”
“No.”
“Good.”
The brunette leans forward and claims Willow’s lips in a kiss. Soon they’re falling to the floor, shedding clothing as they desperately touch one another.
* * *
Later when they’re lying naked on the wooden floor in the semi-darkness, Willow feels relieved. Tomorrow they will arrive in Sunnydale and with any luck they will destroy Angelus and his hold on the town. And maybe, just maybe, they will save Xander and they will all walk away alive. She knows that it’s probably nothing more but a pipe dream but in the hazy afterglow of making love to Faith, she’s desperate to have a happy dream.
**END**