[spn] this year's girl
Title: This Year’s Girl
Author: aaronlisa
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing/Characters: Sam Winchester, Ruby
Rating: FR13
Disclaimer: Supernatural belongs to Eric Kripke and company.
Spoilers: To be safe, everything up to 4x06, with specific references to 2x14 “Born Under a Bad Sign,” 3x16 “No Rest for the Wicked” and vague references to 4x01 “Lazarus Rising.”
Notes: The story itself takes place between 3x16 and 4x01 and it was inspired by something that powerof3 posted in her journal. The title comes from the Elvis Costello song.
Summary: Sam deals with the loss of his brother.
Word Count: 519
There are certain things that his father and his brother have ingrained him, yet without either of them around he’s afraid of falling apart so he clings to the only thing that makes him feel sane and whole again.
Ruby.
The fact that she has a new body and has made a victim out of someone else isn’t something that he can’t quite ignore. It’s not something that he can just forget and pretend isn’t happening, even though he does his absolute best to forget it so that he doesn’t have to deal with the overwhelming guilt.
Every now and then he swears that he sees a glimmer in her eyes that isn’t Ruby. Something that he’s certain is the girl’s soul and something in him breaks a little more every time he ignores it. He knows that if his father could see him now, John Winchester would be disgusted with him.
Then again, his father would have to get in line. He feels more disgust and self-loathing for himself, especially when he wakes up and he realizes that he wants Ruby more and more as each day passes.
And no matter how much he tells himself that it’s wrong and it’s evil, he finds himself slipping further and further down a slippery path that leads to his own personal Hell. So he tries not to think about how much he wants Ruby, instead he focuses on what she’s trying to teach him about his powers.
Perhaps with the demons that he’ll evict and send back to Hell, he’ll remember that underneath it all, it’s not really Ruby’s body. That it’s some other girl’s body and in there, deep down on the inside is the girl that Ruby has imprisoned.
He forces himself to remember what it was like when Meg was in his body and how he felt with all the dirty things that she made him do in retribution. He’ll think about the guys and girls that Meg picked up when she was wearing his body like it was her own and the way he felt everything that she did and how it felt…
Yet when Ruby turns her dark eyes on him and looks at him like she could just eat him up, it’s hard for him to remember anything but the matching desire that he feels for her. And it puts him right back on edge and he can’t help but wonder if that’s what she wants.
He knows that he should leave and that if he were to go to Bobby’s or seek out Ellen, either one of them would help him get through the pain, remorse, guilt and a thousand other emotions that he’s felt since he couldn’t save Dean from the Hell Hounds. Yet he can’t leave her, Ruby or the girl that he doesn’t even know, in his mind they’re slowly becoming intertwined where he can’t see beyond anything other than the fact that his world is slowly falling apart without Dean in it and the only person that he has to guide him to fight the impending war is Ruby.
**END**
Author: aaronlisa
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing/Characters: Sam Winchester, Ruby
Rating: FR13
Disclaimer: Supernatural belongs to Eric Kripke and company.
Spoilers: To be safe, everything up to 4x06, with specific references to 2x14 “Born Under a Bad Sign,” 3x16 “No Rest for the Wicked” and vague references to 4x01 “Lazarus Rising.”
Notes: The story itself takes place between 3x16 and 4x01 and it was inspired by something that powerof3 posted in her journal. The title comes from the Elvis Costello song.
Summary: Sam deals with the loss of his brother.
Word Count: 519
There are certain things that his father and his brother have ingrained him, yet without either of them around he’s afraid of falling apart so he clings to the only thing that makes him feel sane and whole again.
Ruby.
The fact that she has a new body and has made a victim out of someone else isn’t something that he can’t quite ignore. It’s not something that he can just forget and pretend isn’t happening, even though he does his absolute best to forget it so that he doesn’t have to deal with the overwhelming guilt.
Every now and then he swears that he sees a glimmer in her eyes that isn’t Ruby. Something that he’s certain is the girl’s soul and something in him breaks a little more every time he ignores it. He knows that if his father could see him now, John Winchester would be disgusted with him.
Then again, his father would have to get in line. He feels more disgust and self-loathing for himself, especially when he wakes up and he realizes that he wants Ruby more and more as each day passes.
And no matter how much he tells himself that it’s wrong and it’s evil, he finds himself slipping further and further down a slippery path that leads to his own personal Hell. So he tries not to think about how much he wants Ruby, instead he focuses on what she’s trying to teach him about his powers.
Perhaps with the demons that he’ll evict and send back to Hell, he’ll remember that underneath it all, it’s not really Ruby’s body. That it’s some other girl’s body and in there, deep down on the inside is the girl that Ruby has imprisoned.
He forces himself to remember what it was like when Meg was in his body and how he felt with all the dirty things that she made him do in retribution. He’ll think about the guys and girls that Meg picked up when she was wearing his body like it was her own and the way he felt everything that she did and how it felt…
Yet when Ruby turns her dark eyes on him and looks at him like she could just eat him up, it’s hard for him to remember anything but the matching desire that he feels for her. And it puts him right back on edge and he can’t help but wonder if that’s what she wants.
He knows that he should leave and that if he were to go to Bobby’s or seek out Ellen, either one of them would help him get through the pain, remorse, guilt and a thousand other emotions that he’s felt since he couldn’t save Dean from the Hell Hounds. Yet he can’t leave her, Ruby or the girl that he doesn’t even know, in his mind they’re slowly becoming intertwined where he can’t see beyond anything other than the fact that his world is slowly falling apart without Dean in it and the only person that he has to guide him to fight the impending war is Ruby.
**END**