{buffyverse} diminished capacity
Title: Diminished Capacity
Author: Aaronlisa
Fandom: Angel
Pairing: Cordelia Chase/Illyria
Characters: Cordelia Chase, Illryia, Fred Burkle and mention of other ATS characters.
Rating: FR13
Disclaimer: Angel belong to Joss Whedon & company.
Prompts: Written for Round #131 (Illyria) at femslash_minis for brutti_ma_buoni . The prompts were godly rivalries, "Why blue, exactly?" and boots. Without evil!Cordy and Connor.
Notes: Set post ATS Season Five.
Summary: Once upon a time, they were gods.
Word Count: 1504
{after}
She cards her fingers through her companion's silky hair. Ever after all of this time, she still finds the combination of brown and blue hair a bit odd. It's a subtle reminder of all that she's lost and all that she's gained. As happy as she is, she's not quite sure if things ever balanced out quite right. There are days when she feels as if she has a hole inside of heart that no one could ever fill.
{now}
Yet another apocalypse has come and gone. Los Angeles is in ruins and she can't help but wonder who the mainstream media is going to explain this one off? When she almost slips on debris, she finds that she really doesn't care. Let those in the dark write it off as an earthquake or a terrorist attack. She knows the truth. And she's not here to figure out how this mess will be explained. Instead she's here because she has a mission - find a former god-king and put her back where she belongs - in her grave in the Deeper Well.
{before}
In the dark and quiet room, things feel so intimate. Certainly more intimate than she's ever felt with any boy. She's worried that out in the hallway, Angel can hear how her breath catches every now and then as the woman beside her moves in her sleep and leans into her more and more with every breath. She's afraid that Angel can hear how fast her heartbeat is. She doesn't want him to misinterpret things. She doesn't want to interpret anything. This is only supposed to be about comfort. Allowing the damsel in distress that Angel rescued to relax and sleep. Yet she can't help how she feels. The problem is that she's not even sure how she feels.
{now}
Cordelia Chase isn't exactly sure of how she feels about the mission anymore. On paper, an Old One, even one who's been robbed of the bulk of her power, is a terrifying thing. But in reality, Illyria is just as lost as she is. Everything and everyone she knew is gone, missing or most likely dead.
What Cordelia does know is that her hiking boots are giving her blisters. Her sweater is a wool blend that makes her skin itch and she has far too many split ends. She's tired of trying to get out of LA only to find one deterrent after another. She's supposed to be a god (maybe just a really minor one but still) but she has nothing in the way of power. Unless you count sarcasm and a killer fashion sense as super powers.
Illyria spends far too much time sneering at her. Saying useless things about how she was once feared and how soft and mortal Cordelia is. It's as if Smurfette doesn't get that she's in the same boat as Cordelia is. The apocalypse has weakened the pair of them.
Sometimes Cordelia things that getting Illyria to the Deeper Well will serve as a way to shut her up. After another day of stumbling around LA, trying to avoid demons and the army, they wind up back at the Hyperion.
Cordelia decides it's time to search out her old room. Maybe she'll find something better to wear. Maybe she'll find something that will remind her of Sunnydale and when she used to think that being powerful meant being at the top of the high school food chain. She kicks off her boots as Illyria sullenly paces. Right now, Cordelia could kill for a pair of boots that she used to wear- knee high, supple leather with a slight heel. It'd be nice than a pair of boots that are a size too small for her.
{before}
She had thought that Fred was falling in love with Angel. But when Fred gently presses her lips against hers, she realizes how blind she was. Her first instinct is to push Fred away. She's not into girls, right? But instead she pulls Fred closer, holds the young woman gently in her arms and kisses her back. It's soft, sweet and when its over, they both know that it'll never be anything more than this one kiss.
Later on, Fred buries herself into one of Wesley's books and Cordelia flips through a fashion magazine. They're in the lobby with everyone else and the night is slow. When no one is looking, she finds herself looking at Fred. Wondering what might have been.
{after}
She was the one who initiated the kiss. She knew full well who she was kissing when she had leaned forward and pressed her lips against surprisingly soft and warm blue lips. One moment they had been fighting and the next, they had been kissing. Although Illyria had frozen in place for a moment before she had kissed Cordelia back.
It had felt like Heaven, like coming home. And Cordelia had never looked back.
{now}
She's not weak anymore. She doesn't need someone to fight her battles. Especially not some blue freak of nature.
"I had things under control."
"You are weak and reckless. If I had not intervened, you could have died."
"I don't need you or Buffy or Angel or anyone else to save me!"
"Your shell is soft and mortal/"
"It's a body!" Cordelia shouts."
"It is still soft, weak and mortal."
"I gave up being a god for this?" Cordelia says as she raises her hands in the air.
Illyria laughs. The sound is startling. The sound of her mirth is dark and bitter. It scares Cordelia.
"You were not a god, you were nothing but a little girl playing dress up."
"Yeah I suppose you think you were a god?"
"I was."
"You were a demon," Cordelia says. "A demon full of malice and evil. And like any other demon Wesley and Angel fixed you up so you're nothing but a giant Smurf."
Illyria snarls and grabs at Cordelia. She doesn't flinch as Illyria's grip painfully cuts into her shoulders.
"I was a god and you will bow down before me."
"Oh please, you think you scare me? I've seen worse. I was worse. You're just like me."
Illyria lets her go and Cordelia tries not to break down. Showing the blue freak weakness will only make things worse. But she can admit to herself, that they're nothing but shadows of their former selves. They're losers in this new regime.
{before}
She knows what is happening Fred but she's powerless to help. She a god of sorts but she's absolutely powerless to help those that she loves. She watches as Fred is destroyed and in her place a god-king rises. She sees the look of devastation on Wesley's face and wonders how they ever got to this place where the people that they saved become the monsters that they hunt and destroy.
She cries so many tears and regrets ever agreeing to the deal that the Powers that Be offered her.
She's weak and useless.
{after}
Once upon a time, they were gods.
Okay maybe not gods. One was a demon and the other was a higher being. But to make things easier, she defines them as being godlike. Or at least they were godlike.
Now, one of them has a killer fashion sense, sarcasm and visions. The other is blue, super-strong and able to shift forms. They're certainly not godlike anymore.
Now they're just trying to survive in a world that is rapidly changing - where demons walk amongst humans. And they're no longer viewed as heroes who help the hopeless. At least they have each other.
{before}
She's pretty sure she's going to die. Apparently she does need someone to fight her battles for her. They're stuck in the sewers waiting the approach of dawn ,while Cordelia tries to hold herself together. Illyria paces back and forth and it's make Cordelia feel sick to her stomach.
"You are dying/"
"Thanks for the words of support and comfort."
"Would you wish me to provide you with that?"
"No, I don't want you to provide to be something you're not."
"Wesley wanted me to do so."
"Do I look like Wesley?" Cordelia snaps at her.
The sparring has taken far too much energy out of her.
"If you wish to live, we need to move now."
"There's too many vamps topside and I reek of blood."
"You will die."
"Dawn is only an hour from now," Cordelia says. "Maybe if you stop talking about my imminent death, I might make it out of here."
Illyria gives her a sceptical look but she seems to settle down. Either she's getting comfortable to watch her die or she's finally listening to Cordelia. One can never tell. However Illyria's silence and stillness worries her more.
"Why blue, exactly?" Cordelia asks. "It's not really what you'd call a power colour. It's kind of a comforting colour, peaceful and tranquil. Pretty much everything you're not. And it kind goes against the body armour."
(((END))
Author: Aaronlisa
Fandom: Angel
Pairing: Cordelia Chase/Illyria
Characters: Cordelia Chase, Illryia, Fred Burkle and mention of other ATS characters.
Rating: FR13
Disclaimer: Angel belong to Joss Whedon & company.
Prompts: Written for Round #131 (Illyria) at femslash_minis for brutti_ma_buoni . The prompts were godly rivalries, "Why blue, exactly?" and boots. Without evil!Cordy and Connor.
Notes: Set post ATS Season Five.
Summary: Once upon a time, they were gods.
Word Count: 1504
{after}
She cards her fingers through her companion's silky hair. Ever after all of this time, she still finds the combination of brown and blue hair a bit odd. It's a subtle reminder of all that she's lost and all that she's gained. As happy as she is, she's not quite sure if things ever balanced out quite right. There are days when she feels as if she has a hole inside of heart that no one could ever fill.
{now}
Yet another apocalypse has come and gone. Los Angeles is in ruins and she can't help but wonder who the mainstream media is going to explain this one off? When she almost slips on debris, she finds that she really doesn't care. Let those in the dark write it off as an earthquake or a terrorist attack. She knows the truth. And she's not here to figure out how this mess will be explained. Instead she's here because she has a mission - find a former god-king and put her back where she belongs - in her grave in the Deeper Well.
{before}
In the dark and quiet room, things feel so intimate. Certainly more intimate than she's ever felt with any boy. She's worried that out in the hallway, Angel can hear how her breath catches every now and then as the woman beside her moves in her sleep and leans into her more and more with every breath. She's afraid that Angel can hear how fast her heartbeat is. She doesn't want him to misinterpret things. She doesn't want to interpret anything. This is only supposed to be about comfort. Allowing the damsel in distress that Angel rescued to relax and sleep. Yet she can't help how she feels. The problem is that she's not even sure how she feels.
{now}
Cordelia Chase isn't exactly sure of how she feels about the mission anymore. On paper, an Old One, even one who's been robbed of the bulk of her power, is a terrifying thing. But in reality, Illyria is just as lost as she is. Everything and everyone she knew is gone, missing or most likely dead.
What Cordelia does know is that her hiking boots are giving her blisters. Her sweater is a wool blend that makes her skin itch and she has far too many split ends. She's tired of trying to get out of LA only to find one deterrent after another. She's supposed to be a god (maybe just a really minor one but still) but she has nothing in the way of power. Unless you count sarcasm and a killer fashion sense as super powers.
Illyria spends far too much time sneering at her. Saying useless things about how she was once feared and how soft and mortal Cordelia is. It's as if Smurfette doesn't get that she's in the same boat as Cordelia is. The apocalypse has weakened the pair of them.
Sometimes Cordelia things that getting Illyria to the Deeper Well will serve as a way to shut her up. After another day of stumbling around LA, trying to avoid demons and the army, they wind up back at the Hyperion.
Cordelia decides it's time to search out her old room. Maybe she'll find something better to wear. Maybe she'll find something that will remind her of Sunnydale and when she used to think that being powerful meant being at the top of the high school food chain. She kicks off her boots as Illyria sullenly paces. Right now, Cordelia could kill for a pair of boots that she used to wear- knee high, supple leather with a slight heel. It'd be nice than a pair of boots that are a size too small for her.
{before}
She had thought that Fred was falling in love with Angel. But when Fred gently presses her lips against hers, she realizes how blind she was. Her first instinct is to push Fred away. She's not into girls, right? But instead she pulls Fred closer, holds the young woman gently in her arms and kisses her back. It's soft, sweet and when its over, they both know that it'll never be anything more than this one kiss.
Later on, Fred buries herself into one of Wesley's books and Cordelia flips through a fashion magazine. They're in the lobby with everyone else and the night is slow. When no one is looking, she finds herself looking at Fred. Wondering what might have been.
{after}
She was the one who initiated the kiss. She knew full well who she was kissing when she had leaned forward and pressed her lips against surprisingly soft and warm blue lips. One moment they had been fighting and the next, they had been kissing. Although Illyria had frozen in place for a moment before she had kissed Cordelia back.
It had felt like Heaven, like coming home. And Cordelia had never looked back.
{now}
She's not weak anymore. She doesn't need someone to fight her battles. Especially not some blue freak of nature.
"I had things under control."
"You are weak and reckless. If I had not intervened, you could have died."
"I don't need you or Buffy or Angel or anyone else to save me!"
"Your shell is soft and mortal/"
"It's a body!" Cordelia shouts."
"It is still soft, weak and mortal."
"I gave up being a god for this?" Cordelia says as she raises her hands in the air.
Illyria laughs. The sound is startling. The sound of her mirth is dark and bitter. It scares Cordelia.
"You were not a god, you were nothing but a little girl playing dress up."
"Yeah I suppose you think you were a god?"
"I was."
"You were a demon," Cordelia says. "A demon full of malice and evil. And like any other demon Wesley and Angel fixed you up so you're nothing but a giant Smurf."
Illyria snarls and grabs at Cordelia. She doesn't flinch as Illyria's grip painfully cuts into her shoulders.
"I was a god and you will bow down before me."
"Oh please, you think you scare me? I've seen worse. I was worse. You're just like me."
Illyria lets her go and Cordelia tries not to break down. Showing the blue freak weakness will only make things worse. But she can admit to herself, that they're nothing but shadows of their former selves. They're losers in this new regime.
{before}
She knows what is happening Fred but she's powerless to help. She a god of sorts but she's absolutely powerless to help those that she loves. She watches as Fred is destroyed and in her place a god-king rises. She sees the look of devastation on Wesley's face and wonders how they ever got to this place where the people that they saved become the monsters that they hunt and destroy.
She cries so many tears and regrets ever agreeing to the deal that the Powers that Be offered her.
She's weak and useless.
{after}
Once upon a time, they were gods.
Okay maybe not gods. One was a demon and the other was a higher being. But to make things easier, she defines them as being godlike. Or at least they were godlike.
Now, one of them has a killer fashion sense, sarcasm and visions. The other is blue, super-strong and able to shift forms. They're certainly not godlike anymore.
Now they're just trying to survive in a world that is rapidly changing - where demons walk amongst humans. And they're no longer viewed as heroes who help the hopeless. At least they have each other.
{before}
She's pretty sure she's going to die. Apparently she does need someone to fight her battles for her. They're stuck in the sewers waiting the approach of dawn ,while Cordelia tries to hold herself together. Illyria paces back and forth and it's make Cordelia feel sick to her stomach.
"You are dying/"
"Thanks for the words of support and comfort."
"Would you wish me to provide you with that?"
"No, I don't want you to provide to be something you're not."
"Wesley wanted me to do so."
"Do I look like Wesley?" Cordelia snaps at her.
The sparring has taken far too much energy out of her.
"If you wish to live, we need to move now."
"There's too many vamps topside and I reek of blood."
"You will die."
"Dawn is only an hour from now," Cordelia says. "Maybe if you stop talking about my imminent death, I might make it out of here."
Illyria gives her a sceptical look but she seems to settle down. Either she's getting comfortable to watch her die or she's finally listening to Cordelia. One can never tell. However Illyria's silence and stillness worries her more.
"Why blue, exactly?" Cordelia asks. "It's not really what you'd call a power colour. It's kind of a comforting colour, peaceful and tranquil. Pretty much everything you're not. And it kind goes against the body armour."
(((END))