{supernatural} the ache of leaving
Title: The Ache of Leaving
Author: aaronlisa
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing/Characters: Dean Winchester with mentions of Sam Winchester, Lisa Braeden, Ben Braeden (implied Dean/Lisa)
Rating: FR13
Disclaimer: Supernatural belongs to Eric Kripke and company.
Prompts: Written for 500themes for #9 (sensation of loss).
Notes: Set at the beginning of Season Six.
Summary: Dean doesn't want to leave the life he has now.
Word Count: 435
He's always known that being a hunter is a solitary gig. Even when he was desperate to cling to his father's hand or to keep Sammy by his side, Dean has known the truth from day one. The profession that he once thought he had chosen but in reality was born into means that there's only one person he can ever truly rely on. He knows that all he can ever really do is bring harm to a family. Still leaving Lisa and Ben is harder than he thinks that it will be (or even should be.)
It's not that Ben's not his kid because he knows in the depths of his soul that regardless of who actually fathered Ben, there's a connection between them that makes Ben his son. It's not even the fact that Lisa looks up at him with wide eyes like she's waiting for the other shoe to drop. It should be easy leaving this life that was never his to begin with. In all honesty, the life that he's lived for this past year is Sammy's dream life. Yet he's reluctant to leave a life that he never felt comfortable in.
Even though Dean knows that Lisa and Ben should be safer without him, pain lances through him at the thought of not coming hoe to them anymore. Before he's even gone, Dean already misses the family dinners that Lisa always insisted on. He misses hearing Ben telling them about his day. There's something in him that dies at the thought of having to resume hunting with Sam by his side.
Too much has changed in the year of his supposed exile. Sam's different and Dean's a changed man. Living Sam's dream has changed that indescribable thing inside of him that defines who Dean is. He wants to admit that living this fantasy life with Lisa as his wife (even though they never made it official) and Ben as his son has made him too soft for the hunt. He wants to tell Sam that living a normal life has changed him so much that he doesn't give a damn about saving people anymore. He's served his time so doesn't he deserve this chance?
Yet as he looks at Sam, Dean knows that the only way he can possibly hope to keep Lisa and Ben safe is by hitting the road with the man who's his brother but isn't. He wonders if he ever truly knew the real Sam. Yet he can't seem to stem the ache of the loss of this life he was forced into by a promise.
((END))
Author: aaronlisa
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing/Characters: Dean Winchester with mentions of Sam Winchester, Lisa Braeden, Ben Braeden (implied Dean/Lisa)
Rating: FR13
Disclaimer: Supernatural belongs to Eric Kripke and company.
Prompts: Written for 500themes for #9 (sensation of loss).
Notes: Set at the beginning of Season Six.
Summary: Dean doesn't want to leave the life he has now.
Word Count: 435
He's always known that being a hunter is a solitary gig. Even when he was desperate to cling to his father's hand or to keep Sammy by his side, Dean has known the truth from day one. The profession that he once thought he had chosen but in reality was born into means that there's only one person he can ever truly rely on. He knows that all he can ever really do is bring harm to a family. Still leaving Lisa and Ben is harder than he thinks that it will be (or even should be.)
It's not that Ben's not his kid because he knows in the depths of his soul that regardless of who actually fathered Ben, there's a connection between them that makes Ben his son. It's not even the fact that Lisa looks up at him with wide eyes like she's waiting for the other shoe to drop. It should be easy leaving this life that was never his to begin with. In all honesty, the life that he's lived for this past year is Sammy's dream life. Yet he's reluctant to leave a life that he never felt comfortable in.
Even though Dean knows that Lisa and Ben should be safer without him, pain lances through him at the thought of not coming hoe to them anymore. Before he's even gone, Dean already misses the family dinners that Lisa always insisted on. He misses hearing Ben telling them about his day. There's something in him that dies at the thought of having to resume hunting with Sam by his side.
Too much has changed in the year of his supposed exile. Sam's different and Dean's a changed man. Living Sam's dream has changed that indescribable thing inside of him that defines who Dean is. He wants to admit that living this fantasy life with Lisa as his wife (even though they never made it official) and Ben as his son has made him too soft for the hunt. He wants to tell Sam that living a normal life has changed him so much that he doesn't give a damn about saving people anymore. He's served his time so doesn't he deserve this chance?
Yet as he looks at Sam, Dean knows that the only way he can possibly hope to keep Lisa and Ben safe is by hitting the road with the man who's his brother but isn't. He wonders if he ever truly knew the real Sam. Yet he can't seem to stem the ache of the loss of this life he was forced into by a promise.
((END))