{dollhouse} ghosts
Title: Ghosts
Author: aaronlisa
Fandom: Dollhouse
Pairing/Characters: Echo with mentions of Echo/Paul Ballard, Echo/Alpha
Rating: FR13
Disclaimer: Dollhouse belongs to Joss Whedon and company.
Prompts: Written for 500themes for prompt #61 (crumbling heart)
Notes: Set after "Epitaph Two: The Return."
Summary: Alpha had to leave her with nothing more than a ghost for a companion.
Word Count: 789
A year with just the memory of Paul Ballard and his ghost stuck in her brain wasn't enough. It was dissatisfying and sheer torture to never touch her lover, except for brief dreams. And it wasn't even her Paul, the man who was tempered by ten years spent by her side, instead it was the Paul from ten years ago. He was shaped by the time spent in Alpha's headspace. He didn't have the memories of the first time Paul had finally lowered his walls and had made love to her. Or more accurately, he only had her one-sided memories of that precious event. In the end, the Paul Ballard bequeathed to her by Alpha wasn't the man she had loved, instead it was the man who strove to be the hero, who had wanted to save her. And he was nothing more than an imprint. He was no more real than the other imprints stored up in her head.
As the year slowly wound down, she braced herself for the fact that she'd have no one waiting for her outside. Alpha had left to sacrifice himself in order to be come Karl. There would be no hope of a happy ending for her. She prepared for the next phase of the war while the others delighted in their relationships with one another. Echo built the wall around her higher and higher as each minute brought them closer to freedom.
Yet when the rag-tag group made their way up to the surface, Echo was surprised to see Alpha standing next to Adelle. For a moment, she allowed herself to hope until she pushed it away. He had failed her far too many times in the past to be allowed in this time. Still when he embraced her, Echo couldn't control the way her body reacted to him.
"I had to know that this was really me," Alpha whispers into her ear. "I had to know that I wasn't just some doll made by Rossum."
She pulls away and curtly nods at him. Echo doesn't miss the flash of hurt in his eyes but she ignores it. She's jealous because she didn't have the freedom to selfishly find out if she's really real or if she's still just a place holder for Caroline even after all of these years. Alpha's attention is focused on T as Adelle gives her a look that Echo can't decipher and doesn't really care to. A year underground has weakened her skills so she lets Eleanor slip to the front momentarily yet Eleanor remains silent when Echo pushes back through to the surface.
The moment passes and they load into the transports that will take them back to Safe Haven, their home away from home. Caroline has vague memories of her real home but Echo doesn't care enough to delve into those memories. All she's ever known is the dollhouse and Safe Haven, everything else in between were just made up memories created by Rossum. And Echo suspects that it's all she'll ever know, so there's no point in losing herself in those memories.
* * *
"How awkward."
Echo doesn't believe the sincerity in Alpha's voice. Adelle would have told him that this was Echo's room, even if he hadn't noticed the clues of her former occupancy. Echo just shrugs before turning to leave, it's just as easy to find another place to sleep, when Alpha catches her by the shoulders.
"I'll find somewhere else to sleep," Echo tells him of her intent.
"I had to, Echo, you've always known what you are, I haven't," Alpha tells her. "All I knew was that I was an accident, a freak created in Topher's lab, you weren't. You were the Chosen One, I was nothing more than a rabid dog to be found and put down."
"You left me," Echo flatly accuses.
"I left you Paul."
"A ghost on a hard drive."
Alpha hangs his head and shame and she feels some of her anger dissipate. She still aches but when he starts to pull away, some instinct urges her to lean towards him. Need propels her until their lips meet. The ache she feels in her heart for Paul is still there but Alpha seems to make the ache lessen. He's flesh and bone underneath her touch instead of the ephemeral touch of Paul in her dreams. The agony crumbles and there's a part of her that feels faithless to Paul but she needs this, her heart and soul need this if she's to continue. She finally understands why Alpha left her and a part of her heart heals from the tears he had inflicted when he left her with a ghost for a companion.
((END))
Author: aaronlisa
Fandom: Dollhouse
Pairing/Characters: Echo with mentions of Echo/Paul Ballard, Echo/Alpha
Rating: FR13
Disclaimer: Dollhouse belongs to Joss Whedon and company.
Prompts: Written for 500themes for prompt #61 (crumbling heart)
Notes: Set after "Epitaph Two: The Return."
Summary: Alpha had to leave her with nothing more than a ghost for a companion.
Word Count: 789
A year with just the memory of Paul Ballard and his ghost stuck in her brain wasn't enough. It was dissatisfying and sheer torture to never touch her lover, except for brief dreams. And it wasn't even her Paul, the man who was tempered by ten years spent by her side, instead it was the Paul from ten years ago. He was shaped by the time spent in Alpha's headspace. He didn't have the memories of the first time Paul had finally lowered his walls and had made love to her. Or more accurately, he only had her one-sided memories of that precious event. In the end, the Paul Ballard bequeathed to her by Alpha wasn't the man she had loved, instead it was the man who strove to be the hero, who had wanted to save her. And he was nothing more than an imprint. He was no more real than the other imprints stored up in her head.
As the year slowly wound down, she braced herself for the fact that she'd have no one waiting for her outside. Alpha had left to sacrifice himself in order to be come Karl. There would be no hope of a happy ending for her. She prepared for the next phase of the war while the others delighted in their relationships with one another. Echo built the wall around her higher and higher as each minute brought them closer to freedom.
Yet when the rag-tag group made their way up to the surface, Echo was surprised to see Alpha standing next to Adelle. For a moment, she allowed herself to hope until she pushed it away. He had failed her far too many times in the past to be allowed in this time. Still when he embraced her, Echo couldn't control the way her body reacted to him.
"I had to know that this was really me," Alpha whispers into her ear. "I had to know that I wasn't just some doll made by Rossum."
She pulls away and curtly nods at him. Echo doesn't miss the flash of hurt in his eyes but she ignores it. She's jealous because she didn't have the freedom to selfishly find out if she's really real or if she's still just a place holder for Caroline even after all of these years. Alpha's attention is focused on T as Adelle gives her a look that Echo can't decipher and doesn't really care to. A year underground has weakened her skills so she lets Eleanor slip to the front momentarily yet Eleanor remains silent when Echo pushes back through to the surface.
The moment passes and they load into the transports that will take them back to Safe Haven, their home away from home. Caroline has vague memories of her real home but Echo doesn't care enough to delve into those memories. All she's ever known is the dollhouse and Safe Haven, everything else in between were just made up memories created by Rossum. And Echo suspects that it's all she'll ever know, so there's no point in losing herself in those memories.
* * *
"How awkward."
Echo doesn't believe the sincerity in Alpha's voice. Adelle would have told him that this was Echo's room, even if he hadn't noticed the clues of her former occupancy. Echo just shrugs before turning to leave, it's just as easy to find another place to sleep, when Alpha catches her by the shoulders.
"I'll find somewhere else to sleep," Echo tells him of her intent.
"I had to, Echo, you've always known what you are, I haven't," Alpha tells her. "All I knew was that I was an accident, a freak created in Topher's lab, you weren't. You were the Chosen One, I was nothing more than a rabid dog to be found and put down."
"You left me," Echo flatly accuses.
"I left you Paul."
"A ghost on a hard drive."
Alpha hangs his head and shame and she feels some of her anger dissipate. She still aches but when he starts to pull away, some instinct urges her to lean towards him. Need propels her until their lips meet. The ache she feels in her heart for Paul is still there but Alpha seems to make the ache lessen. He's flesh and bone underneath her touch instead of the ephemeral touch of Paul in her dreams. The agony crumbles and there's a part of her that feels faithless to Paul but she needs this, her heart and soul need this if she's to continue. She finally understands why Alpha left her and a part of her heart heals from the tears he had inflicted when he left her with a ghost for a companion.
((END))