{the lost boys} grief

Jan 09, 2011 22:12

Title: Grief
Author: aaronlisa
Fandom: The Lost Boys
Pairing/Characters: Michael/David (implied Michael/Star)
Rating: FR13
Disclaimer: The Lost Boys belong to Joel Schumacher and company.
Prompts: Written for smallfandomfest for Michael/David and the prompt of what is, what was and what will never be.
Notes: Set post-movie with a brief interlude that takes place during the movie.
Summary: Michael grieves for David and what might have been.
Word Count: 1667


It takes two and a half weeks to clean and repair the house after the battle with the vampires. In those two and a half weeks, Laddie and Star take off abandoning Michael to his family who don’t understand him anymore. He knows where they went and it would be easy enough for him to head towards LA and to find them if he wanted to. But there’s a hole on the inside that a ready-made family won’t fill, even one made up of Star and Laddie. He can barely tolerate his own family anymore. None of them understand what he lost that fateful night.

It’s not about immortality or even about being a vampire. It’s a sense of brotherhood, of belonging, of being part of the collective instead of being alone. Star had fought against becoming a monster so she had never felt what Michael had felt for those few days when he belonged. She had used her body, her sweet kisses, and even her love to trick him into rejecting what David and the others had offered him.

And now he’s alone. He doesn’t think that he’s ever been this alone before.

* * *

The minute he tastes the wine, Michael knows that David has played him. This isn’t simple wine, not with the way that the rich flavour bursts on his tongue, or the way it sparks in his veins. It has a flavour that’s big and bold and just slightly coppery. And it hits him almost immediately. Just a mouthful and Michael already feels drunk. Star fades away into the shadows, completely forgotten as David casts a spell on Michael. Yet her words ring in his ears. There’s no word for what’s happening but Michael can see it now.

The others laugh but somehow Michael knows that they’re not laughing at him. The joyous and raucous noise is one of celebration as they each welcome into the fold. He drinks more of the tainted wine as they move about the cave, their bodies casting long shadows on the walls of the ruined lobby. Michael can almost imagine the lobby before it was destroyed. He can just see the grandeur, the guests in their Victorian finery and David a sweet and innocent boy before someone laughs again and the images are gone. David’s smile is feral as he snatches the bottle out of Michael’s lack grip, swallowing down the wine. Michael stands still as he watches the muscles in David’s throat work.

Before he knows it, Michael’s kissing David. Greedy for the taste of David and the wine, David laughs when he pushes him away.

“Later, Michael,” David promises.

Michael should feel ashamed when the others give him knowing smirks but there’s no malice in those matching feral grins. Just a greedy hunger and need that matches his own. He gulps from the bottle to quench the fire in his belly but it only seems to make him drunker. Everything’s a blur but so clear to him now. He feels like he can fly and maybe he says it out loud because suddenly Marco’s pressed up against him and telling him that he can fly, that they all can.

He’s riding with David, his arms wrapped tightly around David; his thighs are snug around David’s body. Michael can lean forward and taste the tantalizing pale patch of skin of David’s neck that’s exposed. David’s chest rumbles with laughter as Michael shifts on the motorcycle. He decides that’s not quite that brave and he just gives himself over to the sensation of flying as David pushes his motorcycle to go faster and faster along the highway. The night seems endless and Michael never wants to go back to the way things were before David.

They have a few moments before the others arrive and David’s mouth is all over Michael’s body. Michael’s not surprised by how sharp David’s kisses are, there’s a part of his body that’s already realized what’s happening even if his mind is to slow to catch on. He is surprised by how submissive he has become. He blames it on the blood-laced wine. David kisses him on the lips and his lips taste just like the wine did and Michael realizes that it’s far too late to heed Star’s warning should he want to.

He groans as David’s hands make him feel things he’s never felt before. When the others finally arrive, David just pushes him away with a chuckle and Marco helps Michael to stand straight.

“I’ve got you,” Marco says.

Michael feels like he’s spinning even though they’re standing still. Marco’s hand is cold on the small of his back. For a moment, Michael leans into the cold strength that is Marco before David snarls and pushes them apart.

“I know a game we can play,” David says.

And somehow minutes later, Michael finds himself hanging off of a railway track.

* * *

David had taught him how to fly, how to break the shackles of human constraint. In the end, the price was far too high. Max’s idea of a vampire Brady Bunch was too costly for all those involved. And Michael knows that David could have easily had him if Max hadn’t set his sights on his mother and brother.

If not for Star, Michael thinks he could have had David. But there were far too many weak links in the change for the fence to stay whole. Michael realizes that and it’s why he didn’t insist that Star stay or follow her when she took Laddie and left Santa Carla.

* * *

The cave is empty; too many of the street kids are still afraid of David and his gang even three months later. But Michael isn’t afraid so he comes here on a semi-regular basis. The only ghost that haunts this place is him but he feels strangely connected to David and the others while he lies in Star’s old bower that still smells faintly of her. He gets drunk and high and images what might have been if it hadn’t been for Max and Star.

He’s well ware that his daydreams are nothing more than pure fantasy. If David had lived, Michael would have come to hate him. Despite the fact that Michael had felt an intense attraction to David, Michael had seen David’s cruel side. He would have chafed under David’s yoke. The sense of belonging wouldn’t have been enough. He loathed the fact that he had almost attacked his brother. Michael knows that he could never have become the ruthless killer that David was.

Still he returns to the cave and loses himself in the daydreams of what could have been. Maybe if he hadn’t been so human or if Max hadn’t been pressuring David or if the Frog Brothers had never met Sam things might have been different. So many what ifs, none of them really matter. Just like the handful of postcards from Star don’t matter. David died; his world had lost its entire colour. And he can realize now that it was just about belonging.

David had consumed him, introduced him to a world of darker desires that Michael had found inexplicably closed to him with David’s death. Yet he couldn’t ignore what he had been briefly introduced to. There’s a part of him that thinks that he can head down to Los Angeles, not to find Star, but to find what he’s truly looking for. After all, David and the others can’t have been the only vampires. A city the size of Los Angeles would probably be crawling with them.

However a sense of inertia keeps in Santa Carla. He goes to the cave, drinks and gets high. There’s a part of him that wants to get past this but he can’t. He longs for David in ways that Michael knows isn’t healthy. It’s Sam who finds him, startling Michael out of his stupor when his brother trips over some of the empty bottles that have accumulated. (The wine in the bottles had been flat compared to the wine David had given him.)

“Gotta say that I love what you did with the place,” Sam sarcastically says.

“Go away,” Michael says. This is Sam’s fault and he doesn’t want his brother here.

“You need to get over this bro. It’s sick that you’re coming here all of the time.”

“You wouldn’t understand,” Michael says, his words slurring together.

Sam rolls his eyes as he sits down next to Michael. Michael watches as Sam takes the near empty bottle of wine out of his hand and drinks the rest of it before tossing the bottle away. They both listen as it crashes into a wall and shatters into pieces. For a moment, Michael thinks that he should scold Sam but he discards the idea. He has no placing scolding his brother with the example that he’s setting.
“Maybe I don’t get what you’re going through and maybe I don’t understand everything that went on between you and that vampire but I do know that coming here and getting wasted isn’t going to solve anything.”

“Go away Sam.”

“David is dead, He’s not coming back. Quit pining like some stupid girl and move on. This slow suicide is killing Mom. And she deserves better.”

Sam leaves Michael there and he’s left with the decision of whether he should just carry on as he has been or should he move on? The familiar sense of inertia threatens to overwhelm him but Michael pushes himself until he’s standing up. He’s not sure what he wants anymore but this hasn’t done anything for him. David is dead. Whatever Michael thinks that they may have shared doesn’t matter because he rejected what David had offered him when he sided with Star and his kid brother against David and the others.

He can wallow in guilt, shame and half-realized lust or he can live the life that he had chosen to live.

((END))

character: star, character: michael emerson, community: smallfandomfest, pairing: michael/star, character: david, character: sam emerson, length: 1000-5000 words, pairing: michael/david

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