Routine
How many times do I have to think this?
How many times do I have to say this?
How long more till I actually do it?
Will I do it eventually?
I am really exhausted from going through this over and over again. I am exhausted trying to find in myself things or instances in which I can justify what you do. I cannot see that shred of true concern. I can't see that with the amount of crap you tell me. If the heart was a scroll that records, mine would be filled with ink blots; of black & dark & nothing else. Black & filled with your words your cuts, the scars you so freely provide.
Still...
The only thing stopping me is my mum.
How can I imagine the crap you will tell her? How cam I not stay with her to dote on her, love her, protect her; at least mentally from you?
I wanna do what I want
Be who I am
I want to stop thinking for anyone else.
I want to..,
I don't cry anymore.
I don't want to be weak.
I dont want anyone to comfort me.
I don't need it.
I haven't needed it since a long time ago.
Why don't you see?
Why haven't you seen?
If you go on you are going to lose a daughter?
Why?
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