Nootchie Boochies!
::sigh::
I started my first day of work yesterday. I feel like I'm stuck in one looooong dejavu, seeing as I've already worked at a movie place before. But the people are extremely nice there, and Jesse just found out that he's got a job there too, so at least I have someone I know there.
I feel increasingly lethargic. I haven't really done anything substantial in quite some time. ::heavy sigh:: I suppose this is just a phase. At least I hope so.
Brad told me some extremely troubling information about myself the other day. But I'm glad he pointed it out, I've been on this self-improvement journey for a couple months and he pointed out some major issues he has had with me in the past. So now I get to work on those.
I want to bad to be a "good" girl. But I don't think it's really me. I mean, I'm not exactly the "bad" girl (I've known worse...much worse) but I can never be truly good. I want to. But I don't think I can.
Sometimes I wonder if Jesse is mad at me more often than not. I really can't tell sometimes, he'll act like he's OK, but I feel like I've done something to piss him off. He's a hard boy to read. Well, all of them are actually.
I need just some time to chill. Not just "chill" but actually chill and figure myself out. Think about myself and those around me. I wonder who actually cares and who just puts up with me because they don't want to make me feel bad. Either way, I just don't have the patience to deal with things anymore. I feel like I have such a short fuse, I need to learn to fix that. Being angry all the time is no real way to live. You're just giving yourself a heart attack.
I guess the only things in life that really make me smile are Jesse, my family, my friends, and the fact that now I have a source of income. And SOBE's. Damn it, I love those things.
:x
I started my first day of work yesterday. I feel like I'm stuck in one looooong dejavu, seeing as I've already worked at a movie place before. But the people are extremely nice there, and Jesse just found out that he's got a job there too, so at least I have someone I know there.
I feel increasingly lethargic. I haven't really done anything substantial in quite some time. ::heavy sigh:: I suppose this is just a phase. At least I hope so.
Brad told me some extremely troubling information about myself the other day. But I'm glad he pointed it out, I've been on this self-improvement journey for a couple months and he pointed out some major issues he has had with me in the past. So now I get to work on those.
I want to bad to be a "good" girl. But I don't think it's really me. I mean, I'm not exactly the "bad" girl (I've known worse...much worse) but I can never be truly good. I want to. But I don't think I can.
Sometimes I wonder if Jesse is mad at me more often than not. I really can't tell sometimes, he'll act like he's OK, but I feel like I've done something to piss him off. He's a hard boy to read. Well, all of them are actually.
I need just some time to chill. Not just "chill" but actually chill and figure myself out. Think about myself and those around me. I wonder who actually cares and who just puts up with me because they don't want to make me feel bad. Either way, I just don't have the patience to deal with things anymore. I feel like I have such a short fuse, I need to learn to fix that. Being angry all the time is no real way to live. You're just giving yourself a heart attack.
I guess the only things in life that really make me smile are Jesse, my family, my friends, and the fact that now I have a source of income. And SOBE's. Damn it, I love those things.
:x