(no subject)
Why. Why, why why do I have such a talent in fucking up my life? It'd even be easier if I'd only follow my heart/guts/intuition/what I really want, and yes, sometimes I could,(surprise!!!) but no, if there's any chance of a wrong way to go, you'd find me walking there. I can tell you for years I want to study English - the possibility I won't is 100%, the possibiltity of immediately regretting the decision that I won't is 100% either. And that's only the most recent example. Arrrrgh. I can tell you, that 'regret' and 'being utterly stupid' aren't my favourite pastimes, but... ...okay, I give up.
Arrrgh. I. want. to. change.
But how?
Arrrgh. I. want. to. change.
But how?