Someday, somehow...
The boy and I have to go to a cocktail thingy in about half an hour. I'm sitting here wearing bra and panties, and contemplating whether I wear the only dress that fits me or pants. It is under 14 degrees outside. I don't want to go out.
I want to crawl into bed and sleep. I feel exhausted. I'm sick and tired of feeling this tired all the time. I want it to stop. I know it's to do with being anorexic, but it bites.
I've started taking my iron tablets again, and need to start drinking my protein shakes again.
The boy promised we wouldn't have to be long since he knows I'm exhausted. He wants me to go back to the nutritionist and also to see a doctor. I'm not sleeping properly, not eating properly and my body is suffering.
It's frustrating because I want to start back at the gym again on Monday. I'm hoping if I start back at the gym it will get me to eat more because I am hungrier, and it will also help revitalise me.
Because right now I am at the worst that I have ever been.
I was ready to go back to sleep at 1pm today. I was completely ready for bed by 7pm.
This is no life.
Not for me anyway.
I'm not too sure how much more of this I can take.
One reason I don't want to go to the doctor is the worry that they will hospitalise me. I don't want that.
I'll beat this. I know I will.
I just need to lie down a little first.
Ugh.
I better get dressed, and ready for this cocktail party.
I don't want to let the boy down
I want to crawl into bed and sleep. I feel exhausted. I'm sick and tired of feeling this tired all the time. I want it to stop. I know it's to do with being anorexic, but it bites.
I've started taking my iron tablets again, and need to start drinking my protein shakes again.
The boy promised we wouldn't have to be long since he knows I'm exhausted. He wants me to go back to the nutritionist and also to see a doctor. I'm not sleeping properly, not eating properly and my body is suffering.
It's frustrating because I want to start back at the gym again on Monday. I'm hoping if I start back at the gym it will get me to eat more because I am hungrier, and it will also help revitalise me.
Because right now I am at the worst that I have ever been.
I was ready to go back to sleep at 1pm today. I was completely ready for bed by 7pm.
This is no life.
Not for me anyway.
I'm not too sure how much more of this I can take.
One reason I don't want to go to the doctor is the worry that they will hospitalise me. I don't want that.
I'll beat this. I know I will.
I just need to lie down a little first.
Ugh.
I better get dressed, and ready for this cocktail party.
I don't want to let the boy down