i want to be free from desolation and despair
Bathing suits, beach sand, and carefree smiles relishing the sunlight -- Those were the components Florida was supposed to be filled with. They were a drastic difference to the pensive expression she both arrived and left the state with. Sunnydale was a little less 'sunny' than Florida and, in her thoughtful opinion, somehow degrees less captivating in comparison to the Californian town that held far more mystery and enigma than the impression it gave you upon first look.
The high, luscious life that was brimming in the southeast hadn't ensnared her as it would have anyone else. Rather, it was calming, a dose of pacification to smooth over the predicaments she'd overcome in the last weeks and months. The constant sensation of paranoia, dreading something she couldn't put her finger on, had been something she was growing grossly familiar to. It had attached itself to her. And like anything that attached, it only increased. That wasn't living, nor was it right. The mass of tangles that were her thoughts had been worsening, and not one of those said tangles looked like it would unravel any time soon.
And thus started her escape. Her route away, steering clear of vampires and mythical creatures and everything that identified with certain people who crowded her mind, Renee entering the picture as she threw clothes and a toothbrush into a bag. She had qualms with leaving. Was she running away? Hypothetically, it was exactly that. In her mind, Bella preferred to label it as being able to breathe. To think. She needed time.
She'd spent the majority of her time being introspective, encompassed by the serenity of a house she didn't know too well and the easily excitable nature of her mother. Renee was full of distractions and opinions she didn't have time to explain. She remembered clearly the concern under Renee's abnormal observance. "You have something on your mind." The sentence hadn't held a question mark, ringing in her ears. "You can't escape things for long. Karma bites back." Haunting words. A message she had already known.
A tattered bag, partially unpacked while half of the contents scattered, lay carelessly across her bedroom carpet. Hair, damp from a recent shower, was being pulled through with her fingers. She hadn't come back with a sun burn or tan lines, but a lighter load almost, a soaring determination.
The high, luscious life that was brimming in the southeast hadn't ensnared her as it would have anyone else. Rather, it was calming, a dose of pacification to smooth over the predicaments she'd overcome in the last weeks and months. The constant sensation of paranoia, dreading something she couldn't put her finger on, had been something she was growing grossly familiar to. It had attached itself to her. And like anything that attached, it only increased. That wasn't living, nor was it right. The mass of tangles that were her thoughts had been worsening, and not one of those said tangles looked like it would unravel any time soon.
And thus started her escape. Her route away, steering clear of vampires and mythical creatures and everything that identified with certain people who crowded her mind, Renee entering the picture as she threw clothes and a toothbrush into a bag. She had qualms with leaving. Was she running away? Hypothetically, it was exactly that. In her mind, Bella preferred to label it as being able to breathe. To think. She needed time.
She'd spent the majority of her time being introspective, encompassed by the serenity of a house she didn't know too well and the easily excitable nature of her mother. Renee was full of distractions and opinions she didn't have time to explain. She remembered clearly the concern under Renee's abnormal observance. "You have something on your mind." The sentence hadn't held a question mark, ringing in her ears. "You can't escape things for long. Karma bites back." Haunting words. A message she had already known.
A tattered bag, partially unpacked while half of the contents scattered, lay carelessly across her bedroom carpet. Hair, damp from a recent shower, was being pulled through with her fingers. She hadn't come back with a sun burn or tan lines, but a lighter load almost, a soaring determination.