all done
so, it was a pretty busy weekend. among other things, I officially ended my stint as co-GM for the online game I've been assisting with.
essentially, I realized leaving the game was my only option for sanity. we've had an issue with a problem player for months. literally, months. over the course of these months, we've had numerous conversations with this player, both one-on-one and in tandem, where she expressed basically incomprehensible concerns about the game. over the course of all this, I came to the conclusion that we were utterly unable to solve her problem. this is either because we can't figure out what the problem is, because the GMs aren't willing to do the things she wants, or both.
if we can't solve her problem, then she needs to decide either to drop it and continue gaming in the current circumstances, or leave the game. if she decides instead [as she did] to remain in the game but continue to be disruptive and annoying, the GMs need to deal with the problem. and that, for me, meant asking her to leave. I do feel that asking a player to leave the game, though the last resort, still has to be an option in the GM bag of tricks. but my co-GM wouldn't do it.
why? I don't know. there are any number of possible reasons. after the last extremely long, exhausting, frustrating, and baffling exchange with the player two months ago, which was as fruitless as all the previous ones, I was just holding out, waiting for the next one to occur. after that exchange ended, it seemed like we were very close to the point where the other GM would finally agree that it was hopeless and we need to axe the player from the game.
imagine my dismay when the player yet again started airing her incomprehensible* grievances, and I discovered that the other GM was yet again rewarding this behavior by cajoling, negotiating, flattering the player, and trying to help brainstorm ideas. no, she is not a "gifted" roleplayer; she's an unimaginative player who would rather whine to the GMs about character problems than actually play out and resolve the conflict in character.
not only that, but this coincided with the second time that my co-GM and I agreed on something, and then I turned around once and found things had changed without notice. basically, we lost one player to real life, and we both agreed that I would take over the role the character had been filling. but when I logged in next, we had a new player in the game with a new character for that role. and I'm thinking, I don't get to know that we're going to have a new player in the game?? that was when I wrote up my Dear John letter.
I feel so free!! free at last!
===
*I think I finally, just this weekend, at last figured out what the player's problem is. I'll call her Marge. Marge kept complaining that, in her perception, other players were being influenced by OOC knowledge and this was leading to their characters not treating someone [not her own character, mind you] with the proper respect for his position as head of his delegation and Crown Prince of his country. we talked to the player of the Crown Prince, who I'll call Frank, and he had no complaints. Frank recognizes that his character is a bit of a jerk, and thus is going to get some flak. so we told Marge that Frank doesn't share her concerns, and since it involves Frank's character, we don't know why she's complaining about it.
well, finally just this weekend, Marge explained that she is not complaining on Frank's behalf. these are her own concerns. furthermore, the reason Marge thinks the in-character treatment of Frank's character by the other player characters is something she should be concerned about, is because Marge is worried that if her own character observes other characters treating the Prince with a lack of respect and support, these observations will negatively affect Marge's character's perception of the other character.
no, seriously.
it's a good thing I no longer have access to the game, because I'd be tempted to message the player and say, you have got to be fucking kidding me. in any event, I read her message out loud to David, and he looked at me like I had grown a second head. his pronouncement: Marge needs to grow up. my own pronouncement: Marge needs to be a novelist, not a gamer.
essentially, I realized leaving the game was my only option for sanity. we've had an issue with a problem player for months. literally, months. over the course of these months, we've had numerous conversations with this player, both one-on-one and in tandem, where she expressed basically incomprehensible concerns about the game. over the course of all this, I came to the conclusion that we were utterly unable to solve her problem. this is either because we can't figure out what the problem is, because the GMs aren't willing to do the things she wants, or both.
if we can't solve her problem, then she needs to decide either to drop it and continue gaming in the current circumstances, or leave the game. if she decides instead [as she did] to remain in the game but continue to be disruptive and annoying, the GMs need to deal with the problem. and that, for me, meant asking her to leave. I do feel that asking a player to leave the game, though the last resort, still has to be an option in the GM bag of tricks. but my co-GM wouldn't do it.
why? I don't know. there are any number of possible reasons. after the last extremely long, exhausting, frustrating, and baffling exchange with the player two months ago, which was as fruitless as all the previous ones, I was just holding out, waiting for the next one to occur. after that exchange ended, it seemed like we were very close to the point where the other GM would finally agree that it was hopeless and we need to axe the player from the game.
imagine my dismay when the player yet again started airing her incomprehensible* grievances, and I discovered that the other GM was yet again rewarding this behavior by cajoling, negotiating, flattering the player, and trying to help brainstorm ideas. no, she is not a "gifted" roleplayer; she's an unimaginative player who would rather whine to the GMs about character problems than actually play out and resolve the conflict in character.
not only that, but this coincided with the second time that my co-GM and I agreed on something, and then I turned around once and found things had changed without notice. basically, we lost one player to real life, and we both agreed that I would take over the role the character had been filling. but when I logged in next, we had a new player in the game with a new character for that role. and I'm thinking, I don't get to know that we're going to have a new player in the game?? that was when I wrote up my Dear John letter.
I feel so free!! free at last!
===
*I think I finally, just this weekend, at last figured out what the player's problem is. I'll call her Marge. Marge kept complaining that, in her perception, other players were being influenced by OOC knowledge and this was leading to their characters not treating someone [not her own character, mind you] with the proper respect for his position as head of his delegation and Crown Prince of his country. we talked to the player of the Crown Prince, who I'll call Frank, and he had no complaints. Frank recognizes that his character is a bit of a jerk, and thus is going to get some flak. so we told Marge that Frank doesn't share her concerns, and since it involves Frank's character, we don't know why she's complaining about it.
well, finally just this weekend, Marge explained that she is not complaining on Frank's behalf. these are her own concerns. furthermore, the reason Marge thinks the in-character treatment of Frank's character by the other player characters is something she should be concerned about, is because Marge is worried that if her own character observes other characters treating the Prince with a lack of respect and support, these observations will negatively affect Marge's character's perception of the other character.
no, seriously.
it's a good thing I no longer have access to the game, because I'd be tempted to message the player and say, you have got to be fucking kidding me. in any event, I read her message out loud to David, and he looked at me like I had grown a second head. his pronouncement: Marge needs to grow up. my own pronouncement: Marge needs to be a novelist, not a gamer.