This Town isn't Big Enough for Two , [Part 8/11]
Title: This Town isn't Big Enough for Two | Chapter Egiht [part 2/2]
Author: faceoffamex
Rating: nc-17
Pairing: ryan ross / brendon urie.
POV: third.
Summary: Ryan Ross has cancer. It’s slowly taking his life and he’s only eighteen years old. His last chance at love slaps itself down in front of him when Brendon Urie transfers schools near the end of the second semester. But only the most complicated things for these boys could seem so simple to anyone else.
Disclaimer: i don't own the boys. sadly. just the plot idea is mine.
Beta: pavlovebby
Author Notes: ugh! sorry this took soooo long to get up! i've been busy and my computer crashed, and yeah. but it's here now! comments<3
Previous Chapter: This Town isn't Big Enough for Two | Chapter Eight [part 1/2]
A casual touch of lips wasn’t supposed to mean so much. It wasn’t supposed to feel like even the smallest touch of those warm fingertips against his skin meant the world to him. Ryan wasn’t supposed to feel this way. It was the classical cliché prince saving the popper story; yet it was different in all it’s own. He wasn’t someone in need of saving or at least that’s what he had believed when he first had met Brendon. He had just needed someone who would be there for him when he needed it most. Brendon had provided that and so much more.
The way his lips were fitted so perfectly against his was driving those tears forward in his eyes. Ryan couldn’t let this drag on any farther. Moving the hand that was clutching to the soft cotton of Brendon’s shirt loosen and slip up over his collarbone, he gave a small pressure to move Brendon back away from him.
At first, the other just sort of ignored the pressed and continued with his mouth working back into Ryan’s with the most sensitivity to the touch of their skin he had ever felt. But when he felt the pressure yet again (assisted by a stronger resistance than the first), he eased back from the smaller boy. Running his tongue over his lower lip, he shifted his weight on the bed. The look on Ryan’s face sent instant alarm over his body. Frowning, Brendon’s hands eased over Ry’s shoulders and down the contour of his skinny arms to try and work what ever this was out of his system. If anything, Brendon just wanted to make what ever was wrong better. He hated seeing anyone sad but Ryan seemed to take a bigger toll on him when it came to that caring side Brendon took to literally sometimes.
“Ryan, what’s wrong?”
His concern only seemed to make things worse. Wasn’t he supposed to care? After all, he did posses feeling for Ryan. He wanted it to be clear that there was always an open set of arms for when ever he needed to use them.
Ryan’s head tilted down to let his eyes cast over the way his thin hands were settled against Brendon’s firm chest. They didn’t deserve to be there. With his body being absent of so many imperfects. Brendon’s skin didn’t need to be tainted with the diseased touch Ryan had. He dropped his hands quickly, folding them nervously into the boney dip of his lap. He began to chew on his lower lip as he tried to come up with some way to get out what he needed to with Brendon. He didn’t care if the other left. Really, that would be the easiest reaction to handle. Ryan was used to people not being able to withstand the information. With so many organizations promising you would never be alone, they never really knew what it was like until they had the same thing happening to them. Ryan had been alone plenty of hours. Plenty of days. Another night would kill him. But something inside of him told him that Bredon getting up and leaving him there in that bedroom would be different. It would hurt just a little more than the others had. But that’s what he had set himself up for, wasn’t it? The heartache he had known was very possible since the night he had first allowed Brendon’s lips to meet his.
Now, they were there again. Much like the first time, their touch against his own was soft and comforting. Brendon made it seem like his everything was being held between those soft hands. But Ryan didn’t want to think that high of himself. He didn’t want to be that important to another person. Not now.
But he couldn’t deny those soft eyes promising things he knew was about to be read from those gently, pouty lips.
“Ryan?”
That hand moved up to his face, gently cupping his cheek and smoothing against his skin. Jayden had always known how to make even the smallest of gestures feel so comfortable. Breathing in through his nose, he opened his eyes and let his answer be his own hazel eyes meeting those chocolate one. Ryan tried to ease some. He didn’t want to see like he was freaking out because Brendon was so easily touching him. That wasn’t the problem. Ryan was so addicted to those touches that they seemed like the bed kind of medication to over dose on.
“I won’t hurt you. I promise. I do. You mean a lot to me, you know? I won’t hurt you.”
The repeat of words were enough to make Ryan find the whisper in his own thoughts. ‘But I’ll hurt you,’ he thought; forcing a bit of saliva past the lump in his throat. But he wasn’t going to ruin this for Brendon; not yet at least. He just wanted him to know, even if it was going to change everything. It always did.
Instead of just letting it all out there, he allowed Brendon’s weight to shift against his body and for their lips to touch again. Ryan got comfortable, knowing it wasn’t going to be allowed for much longer. He had this feeling that he was going to end up telling Brendon soon enough and if he didn’t, he’d force himself to. His back met the sheets but Brendon’s hands were already their at the small of his back to comfort those stiff muscles. As much as Ryan wanted this to be a fairy tale and have one of those perfect endings, it wasn’t going to even come close to that.
The heat that passed through each of their finger tips onto each other’s skin was enough to send Ryan over the top. With the clothing still tightly wrapped against his body, he was perfectly heated in the chilly room. The coastal air from the windows in the bedroom and the porch door had the room set to a nice, thinly heated temperature that was enough to send shivers down your spine if you weren’t pressed to someone that was just as flushed and warm as you were.
But even with the exchange of their lips pressed tightly together, Ryan knew what the plan was here. The way he had been centered back against the bed was just another reminder of how alone they were here. His back fitted into the blankets with Brendon leaning over him. It was easy to see how careful he was trying to be; to not put too much weight on his tiny frame. He didn’t want to do this. Well, not this way at least. Being with Brendon was already too much. If he allowed things to go this far without Brendon knowing would make him feel like he was cheating at getting something he wanted.
So, Ryan inhaled through his nose and slowly pulled their mouths apart. The near black haired boy sensed the change (yet again), curious what exactly was on Ryan’s mind. Instead of speaking first, he heard the boy sigh. Sitting up just a bit to acknowledge that he was listening.
“Brendon. I… We..-” Ryan paused, trying to figure out how he should tell the boy. It had been so easy to tell everyone else. ’I have cancer’ was simple for him to say, but not to Brendon. He didn’t want to have to let him down, even if it wasn’t his choice as to what went wrong with his body. Swallowing, he opening his eyes to meet the waiting pair, catching the slight worry there. “Brendon, I have cancer.” His voice was a soft tremble of a whisper. Why was it so hard to tell one person, but so easy to spread the word to many others? Was it because he felt for Brendon is ways he had promised himself he wouldn’t? Was it because he didn’t want this to just suddenly end?
“No.” The whine sounded from Brendon’s lips. His hands went to Ryan’s face, cupping it gently as he pushed their foreheads together.
Ryan closed his eyes again, trying not to feel his heart straining in his chest. He didn’t want to hurt Brendon. He just had to know the truth. Ryan couldn’t just keep lying to him. Though it wasn’t really lying if he was just wasn’t telling Brendon that he was sick in fear that the boy would be hurt at the news.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, frowning at himself. If he would of just told Brendon in the first place, this feeling of… he wasn’t sure, wouldn’t be coursing through his chest. He just knew that he didn’t want them to go any farther without Brendon knowing.
He heard the boy sniffle; felt his body press tighter against Ry’s with their lips touching for a much slower, heartfelt kind of kiss. He complied quickly, leaning his lips into the way Jayden’s molded against his. The other pulled away though, speaking again.
“Tell me you’re lying.”
“Then I really would be lying.”
Jayden just whined again, cradling Ryan’s face more. His finger tips smoothed over his skin as he touched their lips together again. Ryan felt the dampness against his cheeks when their mouths melt, instantly feeling his own lips curve down into a quivering frown. Brendon ignore it, keeping their mouthed locked in the same heartfelt kiss as before. One hand moved down, winding his fingers over Ryan’s arm to tug it up over his neck. He didn’t protest; bringing the other one up as well and holding onto his boyfriend with neediness flushing over him.
“You can’t have cancer.” He heard Brendon whisper into his lips. The boy sighed, easing back some to speak. “I love you too much to see you die.” His voice was quieter than before.
Ryan’s heart instantly dropped. He didn’t want to hear that. No. He wasn’t supposed to let Brendon love him. He was the wrong person to fall in love with. But Ryan knew what he was feeling. It was stronger than anything before; more pure. It was real. What he felt for rendon was love. It wasn’t some teenage crush. It was that kind of love where you knew you were with the person you were created for. That’s what he felt when he was with Brendon. It was too bad they had found each other just a little too late.
Ry pressed a soft palm to Brendon’s face, letting his finger tips curl into his hair.
“Please don’t say that. Don’t say that you love me.”
It hurt to let those words slip from his mouth. But he had to say them.
“But I do. I do love you Ryan. I’ve fallen for you. Head over heels. You’re all I want. All I need. I love you. So much.”
Ryan's face was crumbling. How could he say no to that? When he knew his own feelings were so strong in return.
“Brendon,” he whispered, swallowing past the lump in his throat. “I can’t let you love me.”
Brendon’s shoulders angled forward to maneuver his body tighter into the compact space left between the duo. His hands slid back up Ryan’s arms to clasp around the back of his neck. Pushing their mouths together in a tender kiss, he felt his heart beat collide with the solid front of his chest while Ryan’s seemed to knock right back. There was something about the way that there heart beats were shuttering so fast together that made Brendon want to believe he was dreaming. This wasn’t real. Although he’d be loosing the good part of being this close with the one person he caught himself admiring maybe just a bit too much for just having the title as a friend. But then he wouldn’t have to admit that he had just heard Ryan tell him he was dying. But there was a cure, wasn’t there? Or at least a treatment he had to be on to be getting better. He wasn’t going to let this thing killing Ryan beat the will he felt to keep him alive.
Those thoughts made his mouth press just a little harder into Ryan’s; becoming desperate for the touch to be returned. Anything at all to let Brendon know that Ryan was still there. That he hadn’t suddenly disappeared from his embrace to off himself with the horrid thing he couldn’t control. It was easier than he thought for himself to ignore the way his voice crackled under the pressure of tears slipping over his cheeks and his chest aching as if someone had just driven a crack through the bone that was supposed to protect his heart. Obviously it had been a surprise attack.
“It’s too late, ryan. I already do love you. There’s nothing you can do to stop that. Rip my heart out and stomp on it. I’ll still love you.”
He pushed their lips together, making sure the significance of his words was brought across the way he needed them to be. Ryan really did mean a lot. The term ‘high school crush’ was being taken to a different level here. Breathing in, Brendon closed his eyes and tilted his head down to angle his mouth against Ryan’s throat and directing into his pulse point.
“You see, I’ve already given you my heart. I don’t care if your willing to take it or not. It’s already yours.”
Those soft, sweet words were whispered directly into that pulse of life still thriving through Ryans’s body.
The temperature of the room was fine. Ryan shivered from the fact that Brendon seemed to be speaking to him not as if he was still this kid who was dying, but as someone that he wanted to be with. Maybe Ryan wasn’t alone after all.
Author: faceoffamex
Rating: nc-17
Pairing: ryan ross / brendon urie.
POV: third.
Summary: Ryan Ross has cancer. It’s slowly taking his life and he’s only eighteen years old. His last chance at love slaps itself down in front of him when Brendon Urie transfers schools near the end of the second semester. But only the most complicated things for these boys could seem so simple to anyone else.
Disclaimer: i don't own the boys. sadly. just the plot idea is mine.
Beta: pavlovebby
Author Notes: ugh! sorry this took soooo long to get up! i've been busy and my computer crashed, and yeah. but it's here now! comments<3
Previous Chapter: This Town isn't Big Enough for Two | Chapter Eight [part 1/2]
A casual touch of lips wasn’t supposed to mean so much. It wasn’t supposed to feel like even the smallest touch of those warm fingertips against his skin meant the world to him. Ryan wasn’t supposed to feel this way. It was the classical cliché prince saving the popper story; yet it was different in all it’s own. He wasn’t someone in need of saving or at least that’s what he had believed when he first had met Brendon. He had just needed someone who would be there for him when he needed it most. Brendon had provided that and so much more.
The way his lips were fitted so perfectly against his was driving those tears forward in his eyes. Ryan couldn’t let this drag on any farther. Moving the hand that was clutching to the soft cotton of Brendon’s shirt loosen and slip up over his collarbone, he gave a small pressure to move Brendon back away from him.
At first, the other just sort of ignored the pressed and continued with his mouth working back into Ryan’s with the most sensitivity to the touch of their skin he had ever felt. But when he felt the pressure yet again (assisted by a stronger resistance than the first), he eased back from the smaller boy. Running his tongue over his lower lip, he shifted his weight on the bed. The look on Ryan’s face sent instant alarm over his body. Frowning, Brendon’s hands eased over Ry’s shoulders and down the contour of his skinny arms to try and work what ever this was out of his system. If anything, Brendon just wanted to make what ever was wrong better. He hated seeing anyone sad but Ryan seemed to take a bigger toll on him when it came to that caring side Brendon took to literally sometimes.
“Ryan, what’s wrong?”
His concern only seemed to make things worse. Wasn’t he supposed to care? After all, he did posses feeling for Ryan. He wanted it to be clear that there was always an open set of arms for when ever he needed to use them.
Ryan’s head tilted down to let his eyes cast over the way his thin hands were settled against Brendon’s firm chest. They didn’t deserve to be there. With his body being absent of so many imperfects. Brendon’s skin didn’t need to be tainted with the diseased touch Ryan had. He dropped his hands quickly, folding them nervously into the boney dip of his lap. He began to chew on his lower lip as he tried to come up with some way to get out what he needed to with Brendon. He didn’t care if the other left. Really, that would be the easiest reaction to handle. Ryan was used to people not being able to withstand the information. With so many organizations promising you would never be alone, they never really knew what it was like until they had the same thing happening to them. Ryan had been alone plenty of hours. Plenty of days. Another night would kill him. But something inside of him told him that Bredon getting up and leaving him there in that bedroom would be different. It would hurt just a little more than the others had. But that’s what he had set himself up for, wasn’t it? The heartache he had known was very possible since the night he had first allowed Brendon’s lips to meet his.
Now, they were there again. Much like the first time, their touch against his own was soft and comforting. Brendon made it seem like his everything was being held between those soft hands. But Ryan didn’t want to think that high of himself. He didn’t want to be that important to another person. Not now.
But he couldn’t deny those soft eyes promising things he knew was about to be read from those gently, pouty lips.
“Ryan?”
That hand moved up to his face, gently cupping his cheek and smoothing against his skin. Jayden had always known how to make even the smallest of gestures feel so comfortable. Breathing in through his nose, he opened his eyes and let his answer be his own hazel eyes meeting those chocolate one. Ryan tried to ease some. He didn’t want to see like he was freaking out because Brendon was so easily touching him. That wasn’t the problem. Ryan was so addicted to those touches that they seemed like the bed kind of medication to over dose on.
“I won’t hurt you. I promise. I do. You mean a lot to me, you know? I won’t hurt you.”
The repeat of words were enough to make Ryan find the whisper in his own thoughts. ‘But I’ll hurt you,’ he thought; forcing a bit of saliva past the lump in his throat. But he wasn’t going to ruin this for Brendon; not yet at least. He just wanted him to know, even if it was going to change everything. It always did.
Instead of just letting it all out there, he allowed Brendon’s weight to shift against his body and for their lips to touch again. Ryan got comfortable, knowing it wasn’t going to be allowed for much longer. He had this feeling that he was going to end up telling Brendon soon enough and if he didn’t, he’d force himself to. His back met the sheets but Brendon’s hands were already their at the small of his back to comfort those stiff muscles. As much as Ryan wanted this to be a fairy tale and have one of those perfect endings, it wasn’t going to even come close to that.
The heat that passed through each of their finger tips onto each other’s skin was enough to send Ryan over the top. With the clothing still tightly wrapped against his body, he was perfectly heated in the chilly room. The coastal air from the windows in the bedroom and the porch door had the room set to a nice, thinly heated temperature that was enough to send shivers down your spine if you weren’t pressed to someone that was just as flushed and warm as you were.
But even with the exchange of their lips pressed tightly together, Ryan knew what the plan was here. The way he had been centered back against the bed was just another reminder of how alone they were here. His back fitted into the blankets with Brendon leaning over him. It was easy to see how careful he was trying to be; to not put too much weight on his tiny frame. He didn’t want to do this. Well, not this way at least. Being with Brendon was already too much. If he allowed things to go this far without Brendon knowing would make him feel like he was cheating at getting something he wanted.
So, Ryan inhaled through his nose and slowly pulled their mouths apart. The near black haired boy sensed the change (yet again), curious what exactly was on Ryan’s mind. Instead of speaking first, he heard the boy sigh. Sitting up just a bit to acknowledge that he was listening.
“Brendon. I… We..-” Ryan paused, trying to figure out how he should tell the boy. It had been so easy to tell everyone else. ’I have cancer’ was simple for him to say, but not to Brendon. He didn’t want to have to let him down, even if it wasn’t his choice as to what went wrong with his body. Swallowing, he opening his eyes to meet the waiting pair, catching the slight worry there. “Brendon, I have cancer.” His voice was a soft tremble of a whisper. Why was it so hard to tell one person, but so easy to spread the word to many others? Was it because he felt for Brendon is ways he had promised himself he wouldn’t? Was it because he didn’t want this to just suddenly end?
“No.” The whine sounded from Brendon’s lips. His hands went to Ryan’s face, cupping it gently as he pushed their foreheads together.
Ryan closed his eyes again, trying not to feel his heart straining in his chest. He didn’t want to hurt Brendon. He just had to know the truth. Ryan couldn’t just keep lying to him. Though it wasn’t really lying if he was just wasn’t telling Brendon that he was sick in fear that the boy would be hurt at the news.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, frowning at himself. If he would of just told Brendon in the first place, this feeling of… he wasn’t sure, wouldn’t be coursing through his chest. He just knew that he didn’t want them to go any farther without Brendon knowing.
He heard the boy sniffle; felt his body press tighter against Ry’s with their lips touching for a much slower, heartfelt kind of kiss. He complied quickly, leaning his lips into the way Jayden’s molded against his. The other pulled away though, speaking again.
“Tell me you’re lying.”
“Then I really would be lying.”
Jayden just whined again, cradling Ryan’s face more. His finger tips smoothed over his skin as he touched their lips together again. Ryan felt the dampness against his cheeks when their mouths melt, instantly feeling his own lips curve down into a quivering frown. Brendon ignore it, keeping their mouthed locked in the same heartfelt kiss as before. One hand moved down, winding his fingers over Ryan’s arm to tug it up over his neck. He didn’t protest; bringing the other one up as well and holding onto his boyfriend with neediness flushing over him.
“You can’t have cancer.” He heard Brendon whisper into his lips. The boy sighed, easing back some to speak. “I love you too much to see you die.” His voice was quieter than before.
Ryan’s heart instantly dropped. He didn’t want to hear that. No. He wasn’t supposed to let Brendon love him. He was the wrong person to fall in love with. But Ryan knew what he was feeling. It was stronger than anything before; more pure. It was real. What he felt for rendon was love. It wasn’t some teenage crush. It was that kind of love where you knew you were with the person you were created for. That’s what he felt when he was with Brendon. It was too bad they had found each other just a little too late.
Ry pressed a soft palm to Brendon’s face, letting his finger tips curl into his hair.
“Please don’t say that. Don’t say that you love me.”
It hurt to let those words slip from his mouth. But he had to say them.
“But I do. I do love you Ryan. I’ve fallen for you. Head over heels. You’re all I want. All I need. I love you. So much.”
Ryan's face was crumbling. How could he say no to that? When he knew his own feelings were so strong in return.
“Brendon,” he whispered, swallowing past the lump in his throat. “I can’t let you love me.”
Brendon’s shoulders angled forward to maneuver his body tighter into the compact space left between the duo. His hands slid back up Ryan’s arms to clasp around the back of his neck. Pushing their mouths together in a tender kiss, he felt his heart beat collide with the solid front of his chest while Ryan’s seemed to knock right back. There was something about the way that there heart beats were shuttering so fast together that made Brendon want to believe he was dreaming. This wasn’t real. Although he’d be loosing the good part of being this close with the one person he caught himself admiring maybe just a bit too much for just having the title as a friend. But then he wouldn’t have to admit that he had just heard Ryan tell him he was dying. But there was a cure, wasn’t there? Or at least a treatment he had to be on to be getting better. He wasn’t going to let this thing killing Ryan beat the will he felt to keep him alive.
Those thoughts made his mouth press just a little harder into Ryan’s; becoming desperate for the touch to be returned. Anything at all to let Brendon know that Ryan was still there. That he hadn’t suddenly disappeared from his embrace to off himself with the horrid thing he couldn’t control. It was easier than he thought for himself to ignore the way his voice crackled under the pressure of tears slipping over his cheeks and his chest aching as if someone had just driven a crack through the bone that was supposed to protect his heart. Obviously it had been a surprise attack.
“It’s too late, ryan. I already do love you. There’s nothing you can do to stop that. Rip my heart out and stomp on it. I’ll still love you.”
He pushed their lips together, making sure the significance of his words was brought across the way he needed them to be. Ryan really did mean a lot. The term ‘high school crush’ was being taken to a different level here. Breathing in, Brendon closed his eyes and tilted his head down to angle his mouth against Ryan’s throat and directing into his pulse point.
“You see, I’ve already given you my heart. I don’t care if your willing to take it or not. It’s already yours.”
Those soft, sweet words were whispered directly into that pulse of life still thriving through Ryans’s body.
The temperature of the room was fine. Ryan shivered from the fact that Brendon seemed to be speaking to him not as if he was still this kid who was dying, but as someone that he wanted to be with. Maybe Ryan wasn’t alone after all.