(no subject)
i feel so numb. it should be me where you are running about not giving a shit just sitting being angry and hostile. this is the complete opposite of what i wanted i wanted to bring you closer and i've just pushed you further away, i don't know what to do i want you here so much. you'll come home at like 3 tonight and give no thought to the girl lying in your bed just find her an inconvenience for taking up your room please don't sleep on the floor again. why can't we be like any other couple and just sit down and talk about our problems. you hate listening to me you lose patience and pay no attention and that'll make me feel worse before it makes me feel better. you do nothing wrong in your eyes why can't you come up to me and apologise for once. i've tried doing so much to slap you in the face and say hey, i didn't really want a break you idiot, i want you to want me. i want you to love me like you used to, i don't know where it was that i changed into this girl you completely can't stand the sight of, why aren't you fond enough of what we started as to try and rescue us? it can be done, you can save us by wanting me and you can save me by loving me.
i just wish you liked the stuff that we did, that when people asked you what you were up to tonight or this weekend or whatever time they ask you, you actually mention me you actually sound like you spend time with me in the eyes of everyone else we must never be together because you don't let them know any different...why is it only me that slugs my guts out to make you feel wanted and then it doesn't even make a difference anyway? maybe i just need to accept the truth that i'm just not the girl you can love and i should let you go to find somebody you can. i'm being so selfish i'm making you unhappy because i want you more than anybody i have ever wanted before but you can't wait to get shot of me...i honestly don't know if after all of this i will ever be able to stop loving you. i've never felt this attatched in my life. i imagine so many things for us you probably don't even give a solitary thought to. when did something so perfect turn into ruin we can't even talk to each other anymore and I DO NOT KNOW WHAT ELSE I CAN POSSIBLY DO i have tried SO hard for you so hard for us i want this so much
i just wish you liked the stuff that we did, that when people asked you what you were up to tonight or this weekend or whatever time they ask you, you actually mention me you actually sound like you spend time with me in the eyes of everyone else we must never be together because you don't let them know any different...why is it only me that slugs my guts out to make you feel wanted and then it doesn't even make a difference anyway? maybe i just need to accept the truth that i'm just not the girl you can love and i should let you go to find somebody you can. i'm being so selfish i'm making you unhappy because i want you more than anybody i have ever wanted before but you can't wait to get shot of me...i honestly don't know if after all of this i will ever be able to stop loving you. i've never felt this attatched in my life. i imagine so many things for us you probably don't even give a solitary thought to. when did something so perfect turn into ruin we can't even talk to each other anymore and I DO NOT KNOW WHAT ELSE I CAN POSSIBLY DO i have tried SO hard for you so hard for us i want this so much