the end has come!
and so the teaching stint is over. no more waking up at 6am in the morning; now i wake up at 630am instead of 6am, because my body clock has yet to adjust back to holiday mode. =/
while i am looking forward to all the extra (half) hour(s) of sleep i'm going to get, when i was cleaning out my desk on friday i had different things on my mind. perhaps mrs wilson was right when she said that we tend to reminisce about the past through rose-tinted glasses. all i could think of as i put everything in files or boxes were the good things: the children, the laughter, the 31/50s that i (occasionally) gave out, and especially all the ways our classes conveyed their appreciation to us on our last day: through presents, cards, choruses, cakes and more. it almost made me want to become a teacher, except that reality kicked in and reminded me of the endless loads of marking (still not finished!), the recalcitrance, the scoldings and the frustration. my teaching experience was characterised by both the good and the bad. there's no way to overturn either side; it's a mixed record, truth be told.
one thing teaching's really made me realise is the importance of being a pollyanna. i know mr ngoei is probably reading this and rolling his eyes at the screen now, but it's true, if you don't have hope, you don't have anything. during some parts of this teaching stint, i just wanted to stay in the staff room and not go to class; i didn't want to look at certain rebellious faces, because i knew my blood pressure would just go through the roof. i couldn't stand the mixed signals students kept sending me; sometimes they would keep their word, sometimes they wouldn't. sometimes they seemed to have changed for the better, and in the next breath they would have reverted to their evil evil ways. you cared so much for them, but they didn't seem to care about themselves. i think, on my part, i was particularly frustrated by the last because i am their senior as well, and i knew the immense and rich opportunities and experiences they could have as students if they would just try a little harder, have a little more initiative, and i didn't want them to miss out on them. but i think that when you're in danger of sinking into the quagmire (ooh how dramatic) of cynicism, you cling on so much harder to hope, and slowly the children start coming through, it's quite amazing really. of course, there are some who will still not care, despite everything you do for them. but at this point, i've learnt that it's important to not resent them, retaliate or mark them for life; let go of the anger, and proceed with the rest of the class. i realised that i have to make every effort to encourage them back, and if they want to come back on board, welcome them; if not, there's nothing more you can achieve by constantly raising your own blood pressure. they will come back when it is their time, though hopefully they won't be too badly scarred by then. in the meantime, i can answer to myself, knowing that i continued to do my best for them.
i just realised that in some sense, it's like forgiveness. hmmm. shall think about that. maybe teaching was also meant to help me overcome this issue. God works in miraculous ways.
then of course, there're the other RTs! being with these five beautiful girls has been an immense blessing. i've really enjoyed getting to know them over our lunches and our conversations, whether over sonork, in the pantry, in the computer room, on the cab or bus, or at the security guard post. :)
neha(haha), our spokesperson, and the bear that is called sb3
christine, our welfare head who gives us biscuits and orders farewell lunches for us, and her as yet unnamed dog
neha and chrisine attempting to do one of those mirror image things
mel, our IT head. or rather, mel's empty desk, because she left early. maybe i can pick up some photoshop over the hols and insert her into the picture. hmmm.
cat(herine). her desk looks so empty and lonely; maybe it needs an iBORe. ;)
last but definitely not least, my roomie lif! accompanied in this photo by me.
while i am looking forward to all the extra (half) hour(s) of sleep i'm going to get, when i was cleaning out my desk on friday i had different things on my mind. perhaps mrs wilson was right when she said that we tend to reminisce about the past through rose-tinted glasses. all i could think of as i put everything in files or boxes were the good things: the children, the laughter, the 31/50s that i (occasionally) gave out, and especially all the ways our classes conveyed their appreciation to us on our last day: through presents, cards, choruses, cakes and more. it almost made me want to become a teacher, except that reality kicked in and reminded me of the endless loads of marking (still not finished!), the recalcitrance, the scoldings and the frustration. my teaching experience was characterised by both the good and the bad. there's no way to overturn either side; it's a mixed record, truth be told.
one thing teaching's really made me realise is the importance of being a pollyanna. i know mr ngoei is probably reading this and rolling his eyes at the screen now, but it's true, if you don't have hope, you don't have anything. during some parts of this teaching stint, i just wanted to stay in the staff room and not go to class; i didn't want to look at certain rebellious faces, because i knew my blood pressure would just go through the roof. i couldn't stand the mixed signals students kept sending me; sometimes they would keep their word, sometimes they wouldn't. sometimes they seemed to have changed for the better, and in the next breath they would have reverted to their evil evil ways. you cared so much for them, but they didn't seem to care about themselves. i think, on my part, i was particularly frustrated by the last because i am their senior as well, and i knew the immense and rich opportunities and experiences they could have as students if they would just try a little harder, have a little more initiative, and i didn't want them to miss out on them. but i think that when you're in danger of sinking into the quagmire (ooh how dramatic) of cynicism, you cling on so much harder to hope, and slowly the children start coming through, it's quite amazing really. of course, there are some who will still not care, despite everything you do for them. but at this point, i've learnt that it's important to not resent them, retaliate or mark them for life; let go of the anger, and proceed with the rest of the class. i realised that i have to make every effort to encourage them back, and if they want to come back on board, welcome them; if not, there's nothing more you can achieve by constantly raising your own blood pressure. they will come back when it is their time, though hopefully they won't be too badly scarred by then. in the meantime, i can answer to myself, knowing that i continued to do my best for them.
i just realised that in some sense, it's like forgiveness. hmmm. shall think about that. maybe teaching was also meant to help me overcome this issue. God works in miraculous ways.
then of course, there're the other RTs! being with these five beautiful girls has been an immense blessing. i've really enjoyed getting to know them over our lunches and our conversations, whether over sonork, in the pantry, in the computer room, on the cab or bus, or at the security guard post. :)
neha(haha), our spokesperson, and the bear that is called sb3
christine, our welfare head who gives us biscuits and orders farewell lunches for us, and her as yet unnamed dog
neha and chrisine attempting to do one of those mirror image things
mel, our IT head. or rather, mel's empty desk, because she left early. maybe i can pick up some photoshop over the hols and insert her into the picture. hmmm.
cat(herine). her desk looks so empty and lonely; maybe it needs an iBORe. ;)
last but definitely not least, my roomie lif! accompanied in this photo by me.