Fic: It's Okay
Title: It's Okay
rating: NC-17
word count: ~1,200
summary: Written for Day 1 of Seblaine week, A Day Of Firsts. I chose their first time. Let's just say it doesn't go exactly as Sebastian planned.
author's note: One of these days I'll write straight up snarky Sebastian. Today is not that day. I just have so many feels about him, and he has so many feels about Blaine, and it all turns into a very vicious cycle, as you can see.
"Sebastian, it's okay," Blaine whispers, his hand running up and down Sebastian's back in an attempt at comfort. "It happens to all guys sometimes, don't worry."
It doesn't happen to Sebastian, though, it never has. He looks down in between them, where their bodies are close and pressing together, sees Blaine's cock hard and straining and just a little wet at the tip and then his own that's soft. He's never had a problem staying hard, even when he's had six gin and tonics and can't remember his own name in the back room at Scandals.
It wasn't supposed to be like this. He was supposed to rock Blaine's world, give him the best sex of his life and make him forget about everything in his past. But instead he's embarrassed, not able to perform the way he wants to, the way he needs to for Blaine. He wants this to be good for Blaine, he needs it to be perfect. It's been months of longing, missed opportunities, and Sebastian finally has his chance, has Blaine laid out and willing underneath him. This has never happened before and he's angry with himself that he can't just overcome it, push through and make this as good as possible for Blaine. The more he stops to think about it, how much he feels for Blaine and what it all means, the more he realizes that, oh my god I'm in love with this boy, the harder it gets for him to perform the way he wants to.
"I'm sorry," Sebastian mutters, unsure of what to say. He starts to roll off of Blaine, to run to the bathroom and hide and pretend this never happened. This is what Sebastian does best, what he prides himself on. Fucking boys until they can't remember their own name, until they're boneless and Sebastian has to hold them up against the wall at Scandals. These feelings he has for Blaine are something new and different and completely terrifying. He has always kept feelings and sex seperate, two different things completely that should never be brought together.
But Blaine doesn't let him run or hide or anything else. He keeps Sebastian close, continues drawing patterns onto Sebastian's skin. "You're amazing," Blaine starts, breath washing over Sebastian's ear and fingers dancing on his arms. Sebastian shuts his eyes and focuses on Blaine's words. "Do you know how long I've wanted this? Wanted you?" Blaine asks, his voice full of sincerity.
"Yeah?" Sebastian mumbles, hating that he needs the reassurance.
"Of course," Blaine says, stretching up to trail his lips across Sebastian's neck. "I thought about you all the time. About us, like this." Blaine hooks his feet around the back of Sebastian's thighs and thrusts up, rubbing his erection against Sebastian's hip.
"Blaine," Sebastian groans and he feels himself start to harden. "Fuck, do that again."
Blaine wraps his arms around his neck, every inch of skin connected to Sebastian, and he thrusts up again. "I thought about you when I got off, too. It was always you," Blaine confesses and it makes Sebastian grind down, the thought of Blaine alone in his room, touching himself and thinking about Sebastian. Their dicks rub together, both completely hard now, and Sebastian can feel his insecurities slipping away. He reaches over to the bed side table, grabs the condoms and the lube that haven't been used in months, not since Sebastian realized that Blaine was the only one he wanted and all the faceless boys at Scandals lost their appeal.
"Let me?" Blaine asks and Sebastian nods. Blaine's hands shake as he rips open the package and it calms Sebastian's nerves a little bit more knowing that all of this is effecting Blaine, too. "Hey, look at me, okay?" Blaine says as he rolls the condom onto Sebastian and Sebastian opens his eyes, looks right at Blaine when he reaches in between their bodies to coat Sebastian's dick with lube. Blaine's grip is tight and sure, no second guessing now, and Sebastian can't stop himself when he leans down to kiss him.
He nudges at Blaine's hole, last chance to turn and run, but Blaine just arches up and gasps. "I knew this would be amazing. I thought about it so much and I knew you would be so good," Blaine says, his fingers digging into Sebastian's back as Sebastian pushes inside. Blaine's still wet and open from before, when Sebastian had his fingers deep inside of him, loosening Blaine up and drawing the most amazing noises out of his mouth. Before he had started worrying and second guessing, when he was scared of the feelings bubbling up in his chest and what it meant.
Being inside of Blaine is familiar and new all at once and he feels it in the tips of his fingers, in the pit of his stomach, in the middle of his chest. He's done this before, been with plenty of pretty boys who's names he doesn't remember. But Sebastian wants to remember everything about this; wants to memorize the lines on Blaine's forehead when he squeezes his eyes shut in pleasure, the way the muscles on his stomach contract when Sebastian's dick hits somewhere exactly right inside of him, the way his name falls from Blaine's lips over and over and over again.
"Is it okay?" Sebastian asks, pushing inside of Blaine a little bit quicker, a little bit harder. He needs to know this is good for Blaine, too.
But all Blaine can get out is a choked, "Sebastian," and that's enough of an answer.
Blaine is so tight, so warm and prefect, and Sebastian can't stop himself from speeding up his thrusts. Blaine just clings to him, pulls him down until their chests are pressed together, Blaine's face hiding in the crook of Sebastian's neck.
"You feel--it's just so--" Sebastian tries, but he can't form the words. Pleasure is buzzing from every nerve in his body and the aching in his chest only intensifies everything. "You feel too good. You have to come, I can't last." Sebastian would never dream of being this honest with a random hook up, but this is Blaine and he knows he can tell Blaine anything.
"I'm close, too. Just keep doing that, please," Blaine says as he reaches a hand between them and starts fisting his cock.
Sebastian wishes it could last longer, not just because he prides himself on his stamina, but because he never wants this feeling to end. It's so much better than any sex he's ever had in the past, there's not even a comparison. He pushes inside of Blaine one last time, all the way in until his balls are pressed right against Blaine's ass, and he comes, biting down on Blaine's shoulder, pinpricks behind his eyelids. He can feel when Blaine comes, tightening around Sebastian's dick and the warm wetness hitting his stomach.
He pulls out slowly, never wanting to hurt Blaine, rolls onto his back and tosses the condom into the direction of the trash. He waits for his flight instinct to kick in, to get as far away as possible from the person he just slept with, no names or numbers or any important information. But it doesn't come.
"I didn't know it could be like that," Sebastian says, something like awe in his voice, Blaine curled into his side. Blaine just yawns and cuddles in closer, pressing himself into Sebastian completely.
"What, face to face?" Blaine jokes and Sebastian playfully flicks his forehead.
"Well, aren't you just hysterical? I must be rubbing off on you," Sebastian teases back, poking Blaine in the side. Blaine laughs into Sebastian's skin, curls his fingers around him tight.
"It's always better when you're in love," Blaine says and Sebastian can feel Blaine brace himself, worried about what harsh words are going to spew from Sebastian's mouth at Blaine's mentions of love.
But Sebastian just holds on tighter, twirls his fingers around the soft hair on Blaine's neck and says, "yeah, I think you're right."
rating: NC-17
word count: ~1,200
summary: Written for Day 1 of Seblaine week, A Day Of Firsts. I chose their first time. Let's just say it doesn't go exactly as Sebastian planned.
author's note: One of these days I'll write straight up snarky Sebastian. Today is not that day. I just have so many feels about him, and he has so many feels about Blaine, and it all turns into a very vicious cycle, as you can see.
"Sebastian, it's okay," Blaine whispers, his hand running up and down Sebastian's back in an attempt at comfort. "It happens to all guys sometimes, don't worry."
It doesn't happen to Sebastian, though, it never has. He looks down in between them, where their bodies are close and pressing together, sees Blaine's cock hard and straining and just a little wet at the tip and then his own that's soft. He's never had a problem staying hard, even when he's had six gin and tonics and can't remember his own name in the back room at Scandals.
It wasn't supposed to be like this. He was supposed to rock Blaine's world, give him the best sex of his life and make him forget about everything in his past. But instead he's embarrassed, not able to perform the way he wants to, the way he needs to for Blaine. He wants this to be good for Blaine, he needs it to be perfect. It's been months of longing, missed opportunities, and Sebastian finally has his chance, has Blaine laid out and willing underneath him. This has never happened before and he's angry with himself that he can't just overcome it, push through and make this as good as possible for Blaine. The more he stops to think about it, how much he feels for Blaine and what it all means, the more he realizes that, oh my god I'm in love with this boy, the harder it gets for him to perform the way he wants to.
"I'm sorry," Sebastian mutters, unsure of what to say. He starts to roll off of Blaine, to run to the bathroom and hide and pretend this never happened. This is what Sebastian does best, what he prides himself on. Fucking boys until they can't remember their own name, until they're boneless and Sebastian has to hold them up against the wall at Scandals. These feelings he has for Blaine are something new and different and completely terrifying. He has always kept feelings and sex seperate, two different things completely that should never be brought together.
But Blaine doesn't let him run or hide or anything else. He keeps Sebastian close, continues drawing patterns onto Sebastian's skin. "You're amazing," Blaine starts, breath washing over Sebastian's ear and fingers dancing on his arms. Sebastian shuts his eyes and focuses on Blaine's words. "Do you know how long I've wanted this? Wanted you?" Blaine asks, his voice full of sincerity.
"Yeah?" Sebastian mumbles, hating that he needs the reassurance.
"Of course," Blaine says, stretching up to trail his lips across Sebastian's neck. "I thought about you all the time. About us, like this." Blaine hooks his feet around the back of Sebastian's thighs and thrusts up, rubbing his erection against Sebastian's hip.
"Blaine," Sebastian groans and he feels himself start to harden. "Fuck, do that again."
Blaine wraps his arms around his neck, every inch of skin connected to Sebastian, and he thrusts up again. "I thought about you when I got off, too. It was always you," Blaine confesses and it makes Sebastian grind down, the thought of Blaine alone in his room, touching himself and thinking about Sebastian. Their dicks rub together, both completely hard now, and Sebastian can feel his insecurities slipping away. He reaches over to the bed side table, grabs the condoms and the lube that haven't been used in months, not since Sebastian realized that Blaine was the only one he wanted and all the faceless boys at Scandals lost their appeal.
"Let me?" Blaine asks and Sebastian nods. Blaine's hands shake as he rips open the package and it calms Sebastian's nerves a little bit more knowing that all of this is effecting Blaine, too. "Hey, look at me, okay?" Blaine says as he rolls the condom onto Sebastian and Sebastian opens his eyes, looks right at Blaine when he reaches in between their bodies to coat Sebastian's dick with lube. Blaine's grip is tight and sure, no second guessing now, and Sebastian can't stop himself when he leans down to kiss him.
He nudges at Blaine's hole, last chance to turn and run, but Blaine just arches up and gasps. "I knew this would be amazing. I thought about it so much and I knew you would be so good," Blaine says, his fingers digging into Sebastian's back as Sebastian pushes inside. Blaine's still wet and open from before, when Sebastian had his fingers deep inside of him, loosening Blaine up and drawing the most amazing noises out of his mouth. Before he had started worrying and second guessing, when he was scared of the feelings bubbling up in his chest and what it meant.
Being inside of Blaine is familiar and new all at once and he feels it in the tips of his fingers, in the pit of his stomach, in the middle of his chest. He's done this before, been with plenty of pretty boys who's names he doesn't remember. But Sebastian wants to remember everything about this; wants to memorize the lines on Blaine's forehead when he squeezes his eyes shut in pleasure, the way the muscles on his stomach contract when Sebastian's dick hits somewhere exactly right inside of him, the way his name falls from Blaine's lips over and over and over again.
"Is it okay?" Sebastian asks, pushing inside of Blaine a little bit quicker, a little bit harder. He needs to know this is good for Blaine, too.
But all Blaine can get out is a choked, "Sebastian," and that's enough of an answer.
Blaine is so tight, so warm and prefect, and Sebastian can't stop himself from speeding up his thrusts. Blaine just clings to him, pulls him down until their chests are pressed together, Blaine's face hiding in the crook of Sebastian's neck.
"You feel--it's just so--" Sebastian tries, but he can't form the words. Pleasure is buzzing from every nerve in his body and the aching in his chest only intensifies everything. "You feel too good. You have to come, I can't last." Sebastian would never dream of being this honest with a random hook up, but this is Blaine and he knows he can tell Blaine anything.
"I'm close, too. Just keep doing that, please," Blaine says as he reaches a hand between them and starts fisting his cock.
Sebastian wishes it could last longer, not just because he prides himself on his stamina, but because he never wants this feeling to end. It's so much better than any sex he's ever had in the past, there's not even a comparison. He pushes inside of Blaine one last time, all the way in until his balls are pressed right against Blaine's ass, and he comes, biting down on Blaine's shoulder, pinpricks behind his eyelids. He can feel when Blaine comes, tightening around Sebastian's dick and the warm wetness hitting his stomach.
He pulls out slowly, never wanting to hurt Blaine, rolls onto his back and tosses the condom into the direction of the trash. He waits for his flight instinct to kick in, to get as far away as possible from the person he just slept with, no names or numbers or any important information. But it doesn't come.
"I didn't know it could be like that," Sebastian says, something like awe in his voice, Blaine curled into his side. Blaine just yawns and cuddles in closer, pressing himself into Sebastian completely.
"What, face to face?" Blaine jokes and Sebastian playfully flicks his forehead.
"Well, aren't you just hysterical? I must be rubbing off on you," Sebastian teases back, poking Blaine in the side. Blaine laughs into Sebastian's skin, curls his fingers around him tight.
"It's always better when you're in love," Blaine says and Sebastian can feel Blaine brace himself, worried about what harsh words are going to spew from Sebastian's mouth at Blaine's mentions of love.
But Sebastian just holds on tighter, twirls his fingers around the soft hair on Blaine's neck and says, "yeah, I think you're right."