The difficult thing about being self-disciplined and working so hard
Nothing fun to write about!
Even to friends. Whatcha been up to? "Working hard on a Microsoft Excel spreadsheet project for real estate. About 1/10th of the way done. Oh, last night I made time to watch the latest episode of Amazing Race on demand. And continuing to exercise every day!" Oh...okay. Well it was nice catching up Ryan, thanks. There's just so much shit to do with varying levels of anxiety creeping in as much as it deems itself appropriate. But as long as I keep pushing forward I will reap the rewards eventually. I can feel it. Intrusive voices trying to tell me that I can't. That for whatever reason thousands of thousands of people all over the world can but I am the special little cherry blossom that will be on the outside looking in, regardless of what I do.
It's nice to catch that voice because it's that, that fucking intrusive bullshit, which has kicked me incessantly in the shins during my ambitious projects. Mary Lee didn't believe I'd ever amount to any kind of financially autonomous figure, she admitted as much when we were breaking up, and May echoed the same sentiment, which is why she is trying to remain a more peripheral character. Something I have to remember, and you my hypothetical reader should also remember, is that in most cases when people totally unrelated to each other start drawing the same conclusions it typically means they're onto something. You're difficult to live with, you drink too much, you need to cut the mullet, whatever. But there are times not to listen.
You'll never lose that weight, you'll never make decent money, you'll never make it out of that neighborhood, face it you'll never be a mom, etc... The objective analysis of others, particularly people that know us and care about us and genuinely want the absolute best for us, sounds like the most logical of conclusions. You look and feel irrational for trying to pursue something only you tell yourself is achievable. Definition of insanity is trying the same thing over and over expecting different results. Why bother fooling yourself? Just be your best self within your limitations and move forward like that. You'll find someone who loves you despite that, or those, obvious shortcomings. Right?.
And the kicker is that even though you may not like it you'll settle for it because it's what you know. I don't want to live with my mom anymore, ugh, but in a deep buried part of your brain is the knowledge that you know how to operate there so don't rock the boat. I think in a way it may actually be a survival instinct. If we're alive and sustaining ourselves we're doing something right, don't fuck with the Jenga tower. Change, even for the better, is more daunting than a lifetime of dissatisfaction. I think that's why sometimes the best thing you can do is pack a bag and throw yourself somewhere and survive. You're not affording yourself the comfort of stasis. "Just do it" as the inspirational, yet tired, Nike quote goes. Our biggest enemies are ourselves, which gets compounded by people we love assuming our self-limiting beliefs are a result of apathy, laziness, or lack of ability as opposed to something deeper. "This is just who you are. And that's okay"
Let me suggest to anyone, of any background, to really throw your weight behind someone who has the ambition and drive to try and conquer a long time, or lifelong, struggle. Because they're not just fighting to do that extra push-up. They're fighting to push themselves beyond a comfort zone. They're fighting against themselves. My advice is to not only encourage them but to tell them, "It is inevitable that you will achieve this result if you keep doing what you're doing." Make it fact based. Not subjective. Not "I believe in you," although that's better than not believing in them. Because the point is to tell them that they've made the change, which is the hard part, the result is simply something that will come naturally with time.
wasz, ryan
Even to friends. Whatcha been up to? "Working hard on a Microsoft Excel spreadsheet project for real estate. About 1/10th of the way done. Oh, last night I made time to watch the latest episode of Amazing Race on demand. And continuing to exercise every day!" Oh...okay. Well it was nice catching up Ryan, thanks. There's just so much shit to do with varying levels of anxiety creeping in as much as it deems itself appropriate. But as long as I keep pushing forward I will reap the rewards eventually. I can feel it. Intrusive voices trying to tell me that I can't. That for whatever reason thousands of thousands of people all over the world can but I am the special little cherry blossom that will be on the outside looking in, regardless of what I do.
It's nice to catch that voice because it's that, that fucking intrusive bullshit, which has kicked me incessantly in the shins during my ambitious projects. Mary Lee didn't believe I'd ever amount to any kind of financially autonomous figure, she admitted as much when we were breaking up, and May echoed the same sentiment, which is why she is trying to remain a more peripheral character. Something I have to remember, and you my hypothetical reader should also remember, is that in most cases when people totally unrelated to each other start drawing the same conclusions it typically means they're onto something. You're difficult to live with, you drink too much, you need to cut the mullet, whatever. But there are times not to listen.
You'll never lose that weight, you'll never make decent money, you'll never make it out of that neighborhood, face it you'll never be a mom, etc... The objective analysis of others, particularly people that know us and care about us and genuinely want the absolute best for us, sounds like the most logical of conclusions. You look and feel irrational for trying to pursue something only you tell yourself is achievable. Definition of insanity is trying the same thing over and over expecting different results. Why bother fooling yourself? Just be your best self within your limitations and move forward like that. You'll find someone who loves you despite that, or those, obvious shortcomings. Right?.
And the kicker is that even though you may not like it you'll settle for it because it's what you know. I don't want to live with my mom anymore, ugh, but in a deep buried part of your brain is the knowledge that you know how to operate there so don't rock the boat. I think in a way it may actually be a survival instinct. If we're alive and sustaining ourselves we're doing something right, don't fuck with the Jenga tower. Change, even for the better, is more daunting than a lifetime of dissatisfaction. I think that's why sometimes the best thing you can do is pack a bag and throw yourself somewhere and survive. You're not affording yourself the comfort of stasis. "Just do it" as the inspirational, yet tired, Nike quote goes. Our biggest enemies are ourselves, which gets compounded by people we love assuming our self-limiting beliefs are a result of apathy, laziness, or lack of ability as opposed to something deeper. "This is just who you are. And that's okay"
Let me suggest to anyone, of any background, to really throw your weight behind someone who has the ambition and drive to try and conquer a long time, or lifelong, struggle. Because they're not just fighting to do that extra push-up. They're fighting to push themselves beyond a comfort zone. They're fighting against themselves. My advice is to not only encourage them but to tell them, "It is inevitable that you will achieve this result if you keep doing what you're doing." Make it fact based. Not subjective. Not "I believe in you," although that's better than not believing in them. Because the point is to tell them that they've made the change, which is the hard part, the result is simply something that will come naturally with time.
wasz, ryan