Why You Don't Bareback the Boss
As if Steve/Grace wasn't off the wall enough for the night here's Steve/Chin mpreg. You know...because I'm trying to make your brain explode.
Title: Why You Don't Bareback the Boss
Pairing: Steve/Chin
Rating: PG-13
Notes: Don't own 'em
Warnings: mpreg & stupidity
“You look bushed boss, late night?”
Steve did look wretched when Danny looked over. “You okay babe? Chin wear you out last night or somethin’?”
“That’s soo not cool, brah,” Kono groaned.
Steve half smiled wearily. “Nah. No wearing out. I just have this flu I can’t shake. Any new leads on the art thieves?”
“None so far,” Kono said, staring down at the computer screen. “I’m running facial recognition right now on the surveillance footage. Should be about another thirty minutes though.”
Steve signed, leaning heavily on the computer table.
“You sure you’re okay boss? Did you take any meds?”
Danny laughed before Steve could even answer. “A super SEAL take medication when he’s not on his death bed? Showing weakness by giving into the common flu? You wipe out and hit your head this morning Spiderwoman?”
“Howzit everyone. I brought malsadas,” Chin froze as Steve turned green beneath his tan and raced from the room toward the men’s room. The team stared after him. Not even the length of hallway between the office and restroom could disguise the sound of Steve retching.
“He okay? I haven’t seen anyone run that fast at the sight of food since Rachel was…” he trailed off as the other two stared at him.
“There’s no way, brah,” Chin shook his head. “I odn’t know how you missed noticing but he’s-”
“A dude,” Kono bust out. “Dudes do not have babies. Plus, they’re smart enough to be,” she winced, “safe when they have sex anyway. Right cuz?” There was too long of a silence. “Cuz?”
“Umm…” Chin blinked like a deer caught in the headlights of a semi. “We’re both clean, and, well… guys. Why would we always worry about…”
“Please don’t finish that. Please!” Danny cut in. “I get it. You barebacked the boss.”
Kono glared at Danny. He shrugged. “What? It’s true apparently.”
“Either way guys, he’s a man. There’s no way he’s pregnant. I’ll take him to the doctor and we’ll get him some antibiotics. People with the flu get nauseous at the smell of food all the time.”
Steve, trudged back into the room slowly, looking completely wiped out. “I think I might need to go to the-”
His eyes caught sight of the malsadas in Danny’s hand and his skin paled even more.
“Oh God, not again…” He slapped his hand to his mouth, and raced back down the hall.
Fuck. Fuck. FUCK. Chin thought, watching his lover run. The doctor it was.
-----
“Well, there you go gentlemen. There’s your baby. Everything looks fine so far.”
“Fine so far? As in, ‘Oh, I know you’re a guy but your pregnancy is going well?’”
Steve and Chin stared at the monitor in disbelief, but there it was. The doctor swept the monitor back over Steve’s abdomen as the men stared in utter silence, jaws hanging open, watching their baby’s heart beat on the monitor.
“From the size I’d say you’re about eight weeks along. Since this is an quite unusual circumstance, I’m going to have you in for checkups every two weeks until about seven months along. After that they’ll be once a week, then twice a week in your ninth month.” The doctor stood, placing a printout of the ultrasound in Chin’s shaking hands.
“No no no… I don’t think so.” Steve sat up, the thick gel on his belly smearing his shirt and pants. “No. We are not leaving this office until you explain to me how his dick in my ass made a baby. That doesn’t happen. IT JUST DOESN’T HAPPEN.” Steve started hyperventilating as his gestures got bigger. “You see doc, there’s no way. NO way. Men don’t get pregnant. There is nothing in me that can support a baby.”
His eyes widened in complete horror. “There’s no place for it to come OUT!”
Chin grabbed his hand, placing the other on his face, calmingly. Steve flinched at the contact, but focused on Chin.
“Aloha.” Steve’s breath caught. Chin had never said those words, much less in public like this, but it worked to calm him.
The doctor waited a moment until Steve turned back to him to explain. Rare genetic disorder that sometimes ran through families. Chances were his father had passed it on to him, and so on and so on. Rarely documented, this being the first case of pregnancy as a result on record.
“I can’t access much of your medical history, but what I can see shows three major operations due to combat wounds. Most likely it was too small for anyone to notice, and it has been tucked behind your kidneys. Now, we can listen to the heartbeat and make sure everything sounds okay.”
The doctor’s eyes furrowed. Steve’s eyes widened in horror, and Chin gripped his hand.
“Is everything okay?”
“I hear two heartbeats.”
“MY BABY HAS TWO HEARTS?” Steve scrambled to sit up and examine the screen closer.
“No,” the doctor laughed. “You gentlemen have two babies!”
Chin fainted.
They rode back to Steve’s house in absolute silence, Chin navigating the truck through the afternoon traffic. Their phones buzzes with texts and missed calls from Danny and Kono, but neither moved to answer.
Steve alternated between staring at his stomach, running his hands over his hard abs; and staring out the window at people who’s lives were no where near as fucked up as theirs.
Chin just stared straight ahead, as if on autopilot.
They sat in the driveway for a moment, before Steve hurriedly unbuckled his seatbelt and rushed toward the door.
“I can’t breathe. Oh my god, I can’t. I can’t do this Chin.” Steve leaned on the wall for a moment, before continuing restlessly into the house. Chin just stood in the doorway, the picture of baby Steve that still hung in the entry smiling back at him.
“Me? Kids?” The SEAL ran his hands through his hair, tugging futily. “You guys barely trust me with Grace. I… I like guns. I like blowing things up. DO I HAVE TO GIVE UP MY GUNS?”
Chin couldn’t even make himself answer at this point. He just stared at the picture as reality sunk in. What the fuck were they going to do?
Title: Why You Don't Bareback the Boss
Pairing: Steve/Chin
Rating: PG-13
Notes: Don't own 'em
Warnings: mpreg & stupidity
“You look bushed boss, late night?”
Steve did look wretched when Danny looked over. “You okay babe? Chin wear you out last night or somethin’?”
“That’s soo not cool, brah,” Kono groaned.
Steve half smiled wearily. “Nah. No wearing out. I just have this flu I can’t shake. Any new leads on the art thieves?”
“None so far,” Kono said, staring down at the computer screen. “I’m running facial recognition right now on the surveillance footage. Should be about another thirty minutes though.”
Steve signed, leaning heavily on the computer table.
“You sure you’re okay boss? Did you take any meds?”
Danny laughed before Steve could even answer. “A super SEAL take medication when he’s not on his death bed? Showing weakness by giving into the common flu? You wipe out and hit your head this morning Spiderwoman?”
“Howzit everyone. I brought malsadas,” Chin froze as Steve turned green beneath his tan and raced from the room toward the men’s room. The team stared after him. Not even the length of hallway between the office and restroom could disguise the sound of Steve retching.
“He okay? I haven’t seen anyone run that fast at the sight of food since Rachel was…” he trailed off as the other two stared at him.
“There’s no way, brah,” Chin shook his head. “I odn’t know how you missed noticing but he’s-”
“A dude,” Kono bust out. “Dudes do not have babies. Plus, they’re smart enough to be,” she winced, “safe when they have sex anyway. Right cuz?” There was too long of a silence. “Cuz?”
“Umm…” Chin blinked like a deer caught in the headlights of a semi. “We’re both clean, and, well… guys. Why would we always worry about…”
“Please don’t finish that. Please!” Danny cut in. “I get it. You barebacked the boss.”
Kono glared at Danny. He shrugged. “What? It’s true apparently.”
“Either way guys, he’s a man. There’s no way he’s pregnant. I’ll take him to the doctor and we’ll get him some antibiotics. People with the flu get nauseous at the smell of food all the time.”
Steve, trudged back into the room slowly, looking completely wiped out. “I think I might need to go to the-”
His eyes caught sight of the malsadas in Danny’s hand and his skin paled even more.
“Oh God, not again…” He slapped his hand to his mouth, and raced back down the hall.
Fuck. Fuck. FUCK. Chin thought, watching his lover run. The doctor it was.
-----
“Well, there you go gentlemen. There’s your baby. Everything looks fine so far.”
“Fine so far? As in, ‘Oh, I know you’re a guy but your pregnancy is going well?’”
Steve and Chin stared at the monitor in disbelief, but there it was. The doctor swept the monitor back over Steve’s abdomen as the men stared in utter silence, jaws hanging open, watching their baby’s heart beat on the monitor.
“From the size I’d say you’re about eight weeks along. Since this is an quite unusual circumstance, I’m going to have you in for checkups every two weeks until about seven months along. After that they’ll be once a week, then twice a week in your ninth month.” The doctor stood, placing a printout of the ultrasound in Chin’s shaking hands.
“No no no… I don’t think so.” Steve sat up, the thick gel on his belly smearing his shirt and pants. “No. We are not leaving this office until you explain to me how his dick in my ass made a baby. That doesn’t happen. IT JUST DOESN’T HAPPEN.” Steve started hyperventilating as his gestures got bigger. “You see doc, there’s no way. NO way. Men don’t get pregnant. There is nothing in me that can support a baby.”
His eyes widened in complete horror. “There’s no place for it to come OUT!”
Chin grabbed his hand, placing the other on his face, calmingly. Steve flinched at the contact, but focused on Chin.
“Aloha.” Steve’s breath caught. Chin had never said those words, much less in public like this, but it worked to calm him.
The doctor waited a moment until Steve turned back to him to explain. Rare genetic disorder that sometimes ran through families. Chances were his father had passed it on to him, and so on and so on. Rarely documented, this being the first case of pregnancy as a result on record.
“I can’t access much of your medical history, but what I can see shows three major operations due to combat wounds. Most likely it was too small for anyone to notice, and it has been tucked behind your kidneys. Now, we can listen to the heartbeat and make sure everything sounds okay.”
The doctor’s eyes furrowed. Steve’s eyes widened in horror, and Chin gripped his hand.
“Is everything okay?”
“I hear two heartbeats.”
“MY BABY HAS TWO HEARTS?” Steve scrambled to sit up and examine the screen closer.
“No,” the doctor laughed. “You gentlemen have two babies!”
Chin fainted.
They rode back to Steve’s house in absolute silence, Chin navigating the truck through the afternoon traffic. Their phones buzzes with texts and missed calls from Danny and Kono, but neither moved to answer.
Steve alternated between staring at his stomach, running his hands over his hard abs; and staring out the window at people who’s lives were no where near as fucked up as theirs.
Chin just stared straight ahead, as if on autopilot.
They sat in the driveway for a moment, before Steve hurriedly unbuckled his seatbelt and rushed toward the door.
“I can’t breathe. Oh my god, I can’t. I can’t do this Chin.” Steve leaned on the wall for a moment, before continuing restlessly into the house. Chin just stood in the doorway, the picture of baby Steve that still hung in the entry smiling back at him.
“Me? Kids?” The SEAL ran his hands through his hair, tugging futily. “You guys barely trust me with Grace. I… I like guns. I like blowing things up. DO I HAVE TO GIVE UP MY GUNS?”
Chin couldn’t even make himself answer at this point. He just stared at the picture as reality sunk in. What the fuck were they going to do?