(no subject)
life is wierd right now. at certain moments i feel very unfulfilled.
so wss is coming together. i dont wanna talk about it, but i'm looking forward to it.
i wish people would just stop acting like asses
les miz. its going. got my new keyboard stand today. its hot. very.
so yeah. dinner with cara in between shows. she makes me feel happy.
i dont really feel happy when i leave a les miz for somer eason. i feel very empty. i think its a mix of a lot of things. jealousy. i'm jealous of some of the people in the show. jealousy. i'm jealous i'm not in a high singing show right now. lonliness. i fell really outta place w/ all the cap kids. prolly equally my fault as it is theres. no, prolly all my fault. hurt/upset/annoyed. i do bizillion shows a year (well not that many). does anyone come? cara, jess, suz, marisa. the most important people in my life. which means a whole ton. but it just goes to show u that im not as noticed in school as i thought. cuz so far, adam fachler, kyra, jake hirsch, jacob, mo, natalie, jon, jason torotorra, alex hecht, dana, alex mogil, jared mogil, tracey (dana's sister) and prolly a couple others ALL went to see him. wtf? not one of them has ever seen one of my shows.
i dunno. i feel so empty. i miss hte muisic itself. i wish i was sitting in that pit playing it, even thoughd uring htes how i dont like to, i miss it afterwords. i wish i had auditioned for les miz. i wish i could sing like someone else. and when im standing there after the show, i very much feel invisible.
i miss my peanuts (and ryan of course.) after erading charl's entry about their fun miss them. they were so mucih fun and the show was too,.
i think i'm losing my hearing. i've been meaning to bring earplugs cuz is it right in front of the drummer and it hurts. and today i borrowed a pair (clean of course) and put them in and was playing too loud and couldnt hear myself. bad idea. so i hadda take them out. and i realized that really, my ears weren't hurting anymroe for the loudstuff. at least not as much as they used to. now nothing in everyday life seems quieter but i'm sure it is. this is scary.
despite the fact that i'm fairly sure myl ast too (sporatic) entries have been upset, life is good. cara and i are good. schools hectic but good. drivers ed is...well, drivers ed.. i get my 5 hours card two weeks from this tuesday. yay road test :) even though i'll hafta wait a month to schedule it. i cant wait to drive.
hi everyone that i never see! i miss u
so wss is coming together. i dont wanna talk about it, but i'm looking forward to it.
i wish people would just stop acting like asses
les miz. its going. got my new keyboard stand today. its hot. very.
so yeah. dinner with cara in between shows. she makes me feel happy.
i dont really feel happy when i leave a les miz for somer eason. i feel very empty. i think its a mix of a lot of things. jealousy. i'm jealous of some of the people in the show. jealousy. i'm jealous i'm not in a high singing show right now. lonliness. i fell really outta place w/ all the cap kids. prolly equally my fault as it is theres. no, prolly all my fault. hurt/upset/annoyed. i do bizillion shows a year (well not that many). does anyone come? cara, jess, suz, marisa. the most important people in my life. which means a whole ton. but it just goes to show u that im not as noticed in school as i thought. cuz so far, adam fachler, kyra, jake hirsch, jacob, mo, natalie, jon, jason torotorra, alex hecht, dana, alex mogil, jared mogil, tracey (dana's sister) and prolly a couple others ALL went to see him. wtf? not one of them has ever seen one of my shows.
i dunno. i feel so empty. i miss hte muisic itself. i wish i was sitting in that pit playing it, even thoughd uring htes how i dont like to, i miss it afterwords. i wish i had auditioned for les miz. i wish i could sing like someone else. and when im standing there after the show, i very much feel invisible.
i miss my peanuts (and ryan of course.) after erading charl's entry about their fun miss them. they were so mucih fun and the show was too,.
i think i'm losing my hearing. i've been meaning to bring earplugs cuz is it right in front of the drummer and it hurts. and today i borrowed a pair (clean of course) and put them in and was playing too loud and couldnt hear myself. bad idea. so i hadda take them out. and i realized that really, my ears weren't hurting anymroe for the loudstuff. at least not as much as they used to. now nothing in everyday life seems quieter but i'm sure it is. this is scary.
despite the fact that i'm fairly sure myl ast too (sporatic) entries have been upset, life is good. cara and i are good. schools hectic but good. drivers ed is...well, drivers ed.. i get my 5 hours card two weeks from this tuesday. yay road test :) even though i'll hafta wait a month to schedule it. i cant wait to drive.
hi everyone that i never see! i miss u