why it's not advisable to read great fanfiction before going to bed
Yesterday I began reading the Final Fantasy VII/Kingdom Hearts crossover fic "But That Was In Another Country" (which is quite the amazing fic, and one that I'd heartily recommend), and I read most of it before going to bed at an ungodly hour this morning. I remember thinking that I'd inevitably end up having dreams that somehow involved the fic (like what happened when I'd been reading a lot of "Walkabout," a Final Fantasy VI fic that I also recommend). And then... well, this morning my dreams took a turn from "odd but at least having to do with my real life" to "I'm Yuffie and Sephiroth is still batshit insane."
So in the dream I was Yuffie, and I was living with Tifa and Barret (who looked more like Sazh) and Marlene, and Sephiroth was living with us too because he had managed to convince us that he had reformed and was a good person now. I remember that I was playing with Marlene and I think that's when Timon and Pumbaa showed up and told us that although some adults are great to have as friends, some adults are dangerous and may try to hurt you, especially if they have creepy mustaches. So I was all "OMG, Sephiroth is one of those dangerous adults and he's totally going to try to molest Marlene or something!" And so then Tifa told me to take Marlene outside to play, except it was going to rain soon so I should probably grab my jacket. Then I went to go to the bathroom before I went outside with Marlene, and when I came out I couldn't find Marlene anywhere, so I started running around the house in a panic trying to find her and hoping that Sephiroth hadn't kidnapped her, all the while realizing that my jacket was in the same room that Sephiroth was in, and so I was afraid to get it. Finally I asked Tifa if she had seen Marlene (and I was afraid that she was going to scold me for losing her), but she just said that she hadn't seen her and she thought she was with me. Then we saw that Marlene had been outside in the yard the whole time, and it was starting to rain so we grabbed two random rain jackets and went out to get her, but then the front door got locked behind us (and maybe Marlene managed to get trapped inside somehow, because I don't remember her being with us for the next part of the dream). So Tifa was all "OH SHIT, IT'S SEPHIROTH," so we tried to get in the house through the back door but that was locked too. And I think it was around this time that Barret showed up, and he was aware of everything that was going on so it's not like he just randomly showed up. So Tifa started trying to bust open the garage door so we could get in through there, and all the while I was thinking, "Wait, I'm a ninja, shouldn't I be able to use my mad ninja skills to get into the house?" but really I was too scared so all I could do was say "fuck" over and over again because really what else was there for me to say?
So finally Tifa managed to knock down the garage door and so we got into the house, and Sephiroth was there to give us a lovely warm welcome by slashing our backs with his sword so he could pool all of our blood together so that he could use it to tell the future. And so he looked into the big puddle of blood and was all "I SEE PHYSICAL PAIN IN YOUR FUTURE, YUFFIE KISARAGI!" and then one of the henchmen that he had with him was all "AVADA KEDAVRA!" to me, but the spell didn't hurt me because I had magical ink stains on my fingers that kept magic from harming me. And so I was all "YAY MAGIC INK STAINS!" and then Sephiroth and his henchmen tried to clean the ink stains off my fingers, but they wouldn't come off because they were magical. And then Sephiroth started talking to Barret, something about how he was glad that Barret gave him a chance because they used to be old friends (but I don't remember much more about what happened there). Eventually Sephiroth threw us down into this big pit that was randomly in the middle of the living room, and Timon and Pumbaa and I think Mickey Mouse were also in the pit with us. Timon and Pumbaa started singing "Hakuna Matata" and I think Mickey was trying to jump out of the pit so he could take on Sephiroth and save us all. And after that, I don't remember what happened, so either the dream ended there or more stuff happened that I just can't remember.
I think that definitely qualifies as one of the weirdest dreams I've had in a while. God I love my crossover crackfic dreams.
So in the dream I was Yuffie, and I was living with Tifa and Barret (who looked more like Sazh) and Marlene, and Sephiroth was living with us too because he had managed to convince us that he had reformed and was a good person now. I remember that I was playing with Marlene and I think that's when Timon and Pumbaa showed up and told us that although some adults are great to have as friends, some adults are dangerous and may try to hurt you, especially if they have creepy mustaches. So I was all "OMG, Sephiroth is one of those dangerous adults and he's totally going to try to molest Marlene or something!" And so then Tifa told me to take Marlene outside to play, except it was going to rain soon so I should probably grab my jacket. Then I went to go to the bathroom before I went outside with Marlene, and when I came out I couldn't find Marlene anywhere, so I started running around the house in a panic trying to find her and hoping that Sephiroth hadn't kidnapped her, all the while realizing that my jacket was in the same room that Sephiroth was in, and so I was afraid to get it. Finally I asked Tifa if she had seen Marlene (and I was afraid that she was going to scold me for losing her), but she just said that she hadn't seen her and she thought she was with me. Then we saw that Marlene had been outside in the yard the whole time, and it was starting to rain so we grabbed two random rain jackets and went out to get her, but then the front door got locked behind us (and maybe Marlene managed to get trapped inside somehow, because I don't remember her being with us for the next part of the dream). So Tifa was all "OH SHIT, IT'S SEPHIROTH," so we tried to get in the house through the back door but that was locked too. And I think it was around this time that Barret showed up, and he was aware of everything that was going on so it's not like he just randomly showed up. So Tifa started trying to bust open the garage door so we could get in through there, and all the while I was thinking, "Wait, I'm a ninja, shouldn't I be able to use my mad ninja skills to get into the house?" but really I was too scared so all I could do was say "fuck" over and over again because really what else was there for me to say?
So finally Tifa managed to knock down the garage door and so we got into the house, and Sephiroth was there to give us a lovely warm welcome by slashing our backs with his sword so he could pool all of our blood together so that he could use it to tell the future. And so he looked into the big puddle of blood and was all "I SEE PHYSICAL PAIN IN YOUR FUTURE, YUFFIE KISARAGI!" and then one of the henchmen that he had with him was all "AVADA KEDAVRA!" to me, but the spell didn't hurt me because I had magical ink stains on my fingers that kept magic from harming me. And so I was all "YAY MAGIC INK STAINS!" and then Sephiroth and his henchmen tried to clean the ink stains off my fingers, but they wouldn't come off because they were magical. And then Sephiroth started talking to Barret, something about how he was glad that Barret gave him a chance because they used to be old friends (but I don't remember much more about what happened there). Eventually Sephiroth threw us down into this big pit that was randomly in the middle of the living room, and Timon and Pumbaa and I think Mickey Mouse were also in the pit with us. Timon and Pumbaa started singing "Hakuna Matata" and I think Mickey was trying to jump out of the pit so he could take on Sephiroth and save us all. And after that, I don't remember what happened, so either the dream ended there or more stuff happened that I just can't remember.
I think that definitely qualifies as one of the weirdest dreams I've had in a while. God I love my crossover crackfic dreams.