(no subject)
classmates.com - don't even go there. you may lose hours of your life.
when i was a little kid we lived in Fort Nelson. it was the best place to grow up if you were a little tomboy like i was. Ft. Nelson is about four hours drive from the nearest city/big northern town, so doing any travelling wasn't something we did very often. i remember when my gramma died in DEC'85. my grandparents lived in Lumby BC and it took us 2 days to drive there.
anyways
i've been thinking about that place alot recently. i wish i had been able to spend the remainder of my childhood and teens there. maybe i wouldn't have felt the same back then, but i sure do now. i really want to go back there and visit. my favorite memories almost solely take place there and i miss it. i know alot has changed since then, and it wouldn't be what i remembered it to be, but i can't quite shake the feeling that i belong there in some way. my inner redneck is calling me back. i don't suppose it's a place that an uneducated 29yr old queer female with almost no skills would be able to find a decent paying job, a home, a life or even peace. but the little girl in me wants desperatley for that time back again.
i can't figure out how to stop longing for the old days and be content with where i am now. i almost know what i need to do, but i haven't yet been able to figure out where to start and find the strength in me to begin.
nor can i explain how it is so hard to do simple things, like leaving my house or calling and making the doctors appointment i desperatley need to make.
i know, i know, cry me a freaking river
when i was a little kid we lived in Fort Nelson. it was the best place to grow up if you were a little tomboy like i was. Ft. Nelson is about four hours drive from the nearest city/big northern town, so doing any travelling wasn't something we did very often. i remember when my gramma died in DEC'85. my grandparents lived in Lumby BC and it took us 2 days to drive there.
anyways
i've been thinking about that place alot recently. i wish i had been able to spend the remainder of my childhood and teens there. maybe i wouldn't have felt the same back then, but i sure do now. i really want to go back there and visit. my favorite memories almost solely take place there and i miss it. i know alot has changed since then, and it wouldn't be what i remembered it to be, but i can't quite shake the feeling that i belong there in some way. my inner redneck is calling me back. i don't suppose it's a place that an uneducated 29yr old queer female with almost no skills would be able to find a decent paying job, a home, a life or even peace. but the little girl in me wants desperatley for that time back again.
i can't figure out how to stop longing for the old days and be content with where i am now. i almost know what i need to do, but i haven't yet been able to figure out where to start and find the strength in me to begin.
nor can i explain how it is so hard to do simple things, like leaving my house or calling and making the doctors appointment i desperatley need to make.
i know, i know, cry me a freaking river