dear mum,
The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone.
-Harriet Beecher Stowe
The hardest part is not losing you, but knowing that you won't be around at the big events in my life. I miss you mum, I miss you so so much.
Sometimes, I wish there was someone I could talk to about you. Someone who has gone through the same thing I did and understands what I'm going through. I used to, but she walked out of my life without a goodbye. I can't talk to anyone else in this family about you, because they refuse to. They don't want to go through once more what they already had.
I received an invitation from the hospice my mum spent her remaining days at a few days ago. It was a remembrance for her and those who've lost someone they love, but I'm so afraid to go back to that place again. There are just too many bad memories there, and I don't know if I have the strength to even step into the hospice again.