school violence and other stuff
My parents recently moved into a "continuing care community" in Lancaster. That's cool, it was their idea, and the place is really nice. However, I went to visit them just yesterday (Thursday) and since that had been scheduled for a while, I wasn't thinking about the funerals...
The funeral processions for the Amish girls were south of their new home, but a lot of the local community was going, and it meant that a lot of the side roads were closed, and other roads were blocked by people going to the funerals in their horse buggys. It gives you time to think.
After Columbine, there was a huge feeling of "there but for the grace of some power, and a complete lack of familiarity with firearms, go I". I was the kid that everyone bullied. The kid that got called into the principals office and put on detention because everyone saw me swing *back* but no one saw the other girl throw the first shot. (Not that that would have helped much.) The girl that got picked on for being "smart" but never managed to get decent grades.
There has hardly been a day since i got out of the hell known as "mandatory education" that i havent thanked the Gods that i am violently allergic to all the fun drugs. After Columbine I thought about it and decided to add "hadn't a clue how to fire a gun or where to get one" to that list. I am probably only as marginally sociable and sane (stop snickering out there!) as i am because i found RPGs and the SCA.
But...
However horrible the Columbine shootings were, however stupid, and unreasonable and etc that all was... I could "get" it. Push someone hard enough, for long enough, and you cant be too shocked if they snap back at you and anyone else in the splatter zone. The phrase "never stand *next* to someone throwing shit at an armed man" springs to mind.
The kind of shootings we had this time were different. Here was someone who (as far as we know at this point) hadnt had anyone asssociated with the school throw any shit at him. Hadnt even had a good delusion about it. In the cases like this I had heard about before, like the English school shooting, etc. there was a long history of argument and resentment at the community, at the school, at the kids... ok, it may have been *unreasonable* fights, but there were letters.. angry outbursts at town meetings... stuff like that before he went into the school and started shooting.
I dont see that here. Maybe as more information comes out, we will.... but i don't know, and that makes it much harder to deal with. How can you even think about defending yourself and your kids against that if you dont even know anyone is mad at you? or that the loony guy in your community has a gun collection and writes angry letters to the school board?
It is human nature to try to make patterns out of things, its one of the ways we survive, so when there seems to be no pattern we start to try to create one. I just hope that we find a few *real* clues, or leave it in the realm of "we dont know" rather than making something up. In the meantime, i have my own paranoia to deal with.
It may be unreasonable paterns (see above) or just the fact that i tend to be a worrier by nature (Yes, i am a Virgo, why do you bother to ask?) but it has seemed to me that the level of violence against women and girls has been going up in my world. Oh, probably not everywhere.. but where i see it, deal with it, etc. The local police dont even bother to show up unless someone is actively being beaten.
We had a knife left on the roof of our front porch, next to the broken window outside my bedroom a few years back. The police wouldnt even look at it or take fingerprints, because "You didnt see anything". I had my back door screen cut and propped open, and clear evidence that the guy left after my dog hit the inside back door at full speed... and once again, the police wouldnt even take fingerprints because "he didnt get in". So.. some guy could be a serial rapist and killer, and the only time you are going to bother is after i have been raped, and maybe murdered? No one can be even bothered to take some fingerprints and throw them in a database in case this fits a pattern someday?
I dont mean to demean the risk of terrorist attacks, but I live with a different kind of terror everyday. The latest "kill the girls" shootings just re-inforce it. My guy friends never seem to understand why I wont use public transit after dark, or park more than a block from my destination in most areas, or *go* to a lot of areas unless i have someone with me.. safety in numbers, you know? I was safer traveling alone in Europe (which i did) than i am traveling alone in my home city.... and now i have more evidence that i am part of a "preferred target" group.
Frankly the only guys that usually "get it" are my guy friends who are gay, since they live with a risk of being attacked for their gender too... or at least their gender issues.
My grandmother worked as a head nurse, and raised two kids alone after her husband dies. She came home after dark almost every day of her life, and never worried about her safety, never worried about people breaking into her house. My mother lived in a community that only started locking their doors when i was a pre-teen, (yes, in the same city i live in) and when someone stole my bike off my porch, the police fully investigated it. My mom used to travel by train after dark into center city to go to the theater, alone or with me. So what changed?
When did the safety of women in this city, and this country, stop being something that got police response?
When did it become a "deal with it yourself" issue to find your door cut open and knives outside your bedroom window?
When did it start taking a school full of girls being shot to make news?
I don't have an answer, really.. I wish i did.
The funeral processions for the Amish girls were south of their new home, but a lot of the local community was going, and it meant that a lot of the side roads were closed, and other roads were blocked by people going to the funerals in their horse buggys. It gives you time to think.
After Columbine, there was a huge feeling of "there but for the grace of some power, and a complete lack of familiarity with firearms, go I". I was the kid that everyone bullied. The kid that got called into the principals office and put on detention because everyone saw me swing *back* but no one saw the other girl throw the first shot. (Not that that would have helped much.) The girl that got picked on for being "smart" but never managed to get decent grades.
There has hardly been a day since i got out of the hell known as "mandatory education" that i havent thanked the Gods that i am violently allergic to all the fun drugs. After Columbine I thought about it and decided to add "hadn't a clue how to fire a gun or where to get one" to that list. I am probably only as marginally sociable and sane (stop snickering out there!) as i am because i found RPGs and the SCA.
But...
However horrible the Columbine shootings were, however stupid, and unreasonable and etc that all was... I could "get" it. Push someone hard enough, for long enough, and you cant be too shocked if they snap back at you and anyone else in the splatter zone. The phrase "never stand *next* to someone throwing shit at an armed man" springs to mind.
The kind of shootings we had this time were different. Here was someone who (as far as we know at this point) hadnt had anyone asssociated with the school throw any shit at him. Hadnt even had a good delusion about it. In the cases like this I had heard about before, like the English school shooting, etc. there was a long history of argument and resentment at the community, at the school, at the kids... ok, it may have been *unreasonable* fights, but there were letters.. angry outbursts at town meetings... stuff like that before he went into the school and started shooting.
I dont see that here. Maybe as more information comes out, we will.... but i don't know, and that makes it much harder to deal with. How can you even think about defending yourself and your kids against that if you dont even know anyone is mad at you? or that the loony guy in your community has a gun collection and writes angry letters to the school board?
It is human nature to try to make patterns out of things, its one of the ways we survive, so when there seems to be no pattern we start to try to create one. I just hope that we find a few *real* clues, or leave it in the realm of "we dont know" rather than making something up. In the meantime, i have my own paranoia to deal with.
It may be unreasonable paterns (see above) or just the fact that i tend to be a worrier by nature (Yes, i am a Virgo, why do you bother to ask?) but it has seemed to me that the level of violence against women and girls has been going up in my world. Oh, probably not everywhere.. but where i see it, deal with it, etc. The local police dont even bother to show up unless someone is actively being beaten.
We had a knife left on the roof of our front porch, next to the broken window outside my bedroom a few years back. The police wouldnt even look at it or take fingerprints, because "You didnt see anything". I had my back door screen cut and propped open, and clear evidence that the guy left after my dog hit the inside back door at full speed... and once again, the police wouldnt even take fingerprints because "he didnt get in". So.. some guy could be a serial rapist and killer, and the only time you are going to bother is after i have been raped, and maybe murdered? No one can be even bothered to take some fingerprints and throw them in a database in case this fits a pattern someday?
I dont mean to demean the risk of terrorist attacks, but I live with a different kind of terror everyday. The latest "kill the girls" shootings just re-inforce it. My guy friends never seem to understand why I wont use public transit after dark, or park more than a block from my destination in most areas, or *go* to a lot of areas unless i have someone with me.. safety in numbers, you know? I was safer traveling alone in Europe (which i did) than i am traveling alone in my home city.... and now i have more evidence that i am part of a "preferred target" group.
Frankly the only guys that usually "get it" are my guy friends who are gay, since they live with a risk of being attacked for their gender too... or at least their gender issues.
My grandmother worked as a head nurse, and raised two kids alone after her husband dies. She came home after dark almost every day of her life, and never worried about her safety, never worried about people breaking into her house. My mother lived in a community that only started locking their doors when i was a pre-teen, (yes, in the same city i live in) and when someone stole my bike off my porch, the police fully investigated it. My mom used to travel by train after dark into center city to go to the theater, alone or with me. So what changed?
When did the safety of women in this city, and this country, stop being something that got police response?
When did it become a "deal with it yourself" issue to find your door cut open and knives outside your bedroom window?
When did it start taking a school full of girls being shot to make news?
I don't have an answer, really.. I wish i did.