Health is too Precious to Waste
I know this all too well having spent the majority of the past 2 months in the hospital myself. Now I find out this morning one of my best friends is in critical care with lymphoma on her brain. (caerfree for those who know her too...) I was going to see her next weekend. She is unresponsive and there's not a damn thing I can do so far away. She just got married in June. I'm so glad I saw her then, it was the day after she had "something" removed along with her thyroid and it was getting biopsied. None of us suspected cancer, we were positive it was going to be benign. We laughed at her wedding, it was carefree... much like the person she is. It turned out to be cancer and she's been undergoing chemo, now it has moved to her brain and all we can do is wait and hope the doctors can save her. I've been crying all day since I found out. I feel helpless and can do nothing but send all my positive thoughts out her direction. She is too young to be fighting this, too much left to do. I've known her just over a decade I'm not ready to lose her! We met in person the first time at Yaoi-con 2001 (the first one) we had been friends online before that meeting. Ever since we have met every year at Y-con, shared a room, and just yukked it up every year. I missed last year (Because I was in the hospital ICU myself.) I thought I was going to miss this year because I'm very weak from being in the hospital again. I just got out a few days ago. Now she's not going to be there and I feel a hole in my heart. Not a damn thing anyone can do either. I ache for Nao, her husband, they have been married just over 3 months, this is NOT FAIR! Shes too good a person to have this to deal with, he's too good a person to have to watch her wither before his eyes. It's not fair! It's cruel and I'm mad, and sad and all sorts of frustrating things wanting to make it better and I can't. I want to be there to hold her hand and I can't. The moments she is awake which are few, she doesn't recognize her husband or her parents. I want to scream "DO SOMETHING!!!!" to the doctors and I know they are doing everything they can. I'm sorry for venting, it's all I can do. I'll just sit here and cry some more and hope she comes through this better than when she went in...