03: Limelight Is Meant For One

[fabla]

Flames erupted behind Brendon, setting off sparks that twirled into a large spiral. It spun around the stage before heading towards him, where he grabbed his microphone and did an entertaining yet over dramatic run across the stage, pretending that he was holding onto his hat for dear life as the sparks chased him. Then he stopped dead in his tracks, listening to the audience laugh before he flicked his wrist and made the sparks wrap around him.

Everyone in the crowd fell quiet, staring in awe as the sparks turned to fire. It turned a bright red and then a deep blue, before turning white and suddenly disappearing into thin air. And as it did, Brendon was all of a sudden gone, having managed to sneak back stage while everyone was distracted by the fire.

There was a vast thunderous noise of clapping as he removed his velvet top hat, handing it to one of the Cylens’ while he removed his jacket. He sighed heavily before grinning as he had received a standing applause. Waving his hand, he made a large farewell appear in flames above the stage, causing them to clap heavily once more.

Looking back at the back stage, he reached for a bottle of water on one of the practically empty tables. Walking down the stairs and heading to one of the other rooms, Brendon dumped half of the water on his head as he stepped through a doorway. But then he stopped in his footsteps, seeing the same sight he had seen just a few nights ago.

Ryan and Victor were talking casually with each other, though it was rather one sided as Ryan seemed to still prefer saying nothing at all. He took a breath before walking towards them, plastering a pleasant smile on his face as he leaned over and pressed a kiss to Victor’s lips. Brendon even took a moment to lean over and plant a sloppy kiss on Ryan’s forehead, making him blush.

“Ah, you tease,” Victor said; scooting over so Brendon could sit with him. He turned to Ryan and smiled again, “Yes, so I accidentally managed to lose my shirt in the middle of the performance, making it impossible to hear anything being sung as the girls in the audience started screaming.”

Ryan was laughing at the story, something that made Brendon want to scowl harshly. He had never managed to make the younger man laugh like that before, and it aggravated him that it took little to no effort for Victor to get Ryan giggling.

Brendon looked up as Ryan rose, obviously intending to get ready to remove his makeup as he did after every performance, but Brendon waved him back into his seat. Brendon leaned back, checking to make sure no one was watching, before pouring Ryan the glass of vodka he gave him every week. Ryan grinned and sipped the drink, nodding his thanks before turning back to Victor as he began speaking again.

“But yeah, as I was saying,” said Victor, finishing from where he had left off with Ryan. He took a sip of his drink, smiling at Brendon before announcing his news. “Our last album has gone golden.” He said with a smile, “We’ve sold out three shows from our world tour already. And to top it off, our new music video has been number one for three weeks now on MTV. Can you believe it?”

“No, not really,” said Brendon flatly, and then adding a laugh to make the statement seem less dry. He glanced at Ryan, who was smiling widely before taking a large drink from his vodka. Brendon knew that Victor was wildly much more successful than he was, but it was not necessary to rub it in. Well, that’s what was going through his head at least.

Ryan on the other hand was very entertained, incredibly pleased that Victor had such success. He had just barley noticed Brendon’s hesitation, but thought of it merely as just simple jealousy as he always did. After all, no matter how wonderful Ryan thought Brendon was, he would always need to be center stage.

Victor glanced at Brendon before turning to Ryan, “We’re even set up to accept an MTV award. Best International Band of The Year,” he said, grinning.

That was it for Brendon. He jerked to his feet suddenly, looking furious. He turned and glared down his nose at Victor, “Oh stop bragging, Victor!” he said; his voice oddly cold. He glared darkly before snarling, “You know what? We're done here. I'm finished with this, and I'm finished with you.”

Brendon didn’t wait for a response before stalking off, small bursts of flames exploding under his feet with every step he took. Ryan stared in disbelief before turning to Victor, noting he looked extremely upset. He wanted to follow Brendon, but he knew Victor needed some sort of comfort now. He moved to the chair, settling beside him and offered a hug that was instantly returned.

“I wasn’t bragging, I just wanted to share the news,” Victor muttered against Ryan’s neck, clutching him tightly.

Ryan flinched slightly at the tight grip before returning the hug properly. He didn’t say anything, as there was nothing to say. He simply offered his newest friend the comfort he could at the moment.

Pulling away finally, he sat beside him and watched as Victor’s face turned confused. Ryan felt bad for his new friend, but was slightly and very secretly relieved that Brendon was now free again. Although he knew very well that he’d never have him, he’d have more of his attention sometimes.

Just then Brendon poked his head through the door, obviously waiting for something. “Ryan,” he said, sounding rather exasperated, “My makeup?”

Ryan flushed slightly, glancing at Victor before he shrugged and left. He rose to his feet and hurried to Brendon, his face once more blank. He carefully removed the jacket Brendon had given him, not wanting to damage it. Everything was already set up for after the show, so offering Brendon a small smile, he worked quickly, removing the makeup and making sure his hair wouldn’t become a disaster as he slept.

*****

Ryan sat at his table, putting things together for after the show. It was a longer then normal performance for that night, so he knew he had more then enough time to go see Brendon perform. He hummed softly under his breath as he set up the remover for later that night. He sighed and looked around, knowing he was going to have to go shopping for makeup sometime soon, as he was quickly running out of it. He looked in the mirror and stared at his reflection. He had applied some eyeliner that day, but nothing more.

Suddenly Brendon’s head poked into his room. Brendon grinned with delight at the sight of Ryan sitting at his desk, “Hey, you and me, drinks and a good movie, yeah?” Brendon asked, grinning.

Ryan nodded, knowing it was something they only did every few months and normally because Brendon was bored and didn’t have a date on a Saturday. It had only been a few days since he abruptly ended the relationship with Victor, but Brendon seemed to have forgotten about the other man already.

It was strange that Brendon was now single again, but there wasn’t much to do about it. As always Ryan’s feelings floated through his mind like wandering butterflies, but he knew that he’d have to make them back into the cocoons they needed to be; wrapped up within themselves, regrettably not opening to the word until they were ready; if they ever were.

Ryan picked up the jacket Brendon had given him, which now hung over the back of his chair. Slipping it over his shoulders he smiled to himself, thinking it would be the only closeness he’d ever get to the other man. Then chewing on his lip he got ready to step out the door, when suddenly it had opened by itself.

“Aquarius?”

A head popped in, revealing the strong chiselled face of Victor.

Ryan blinked slowly in surprise, having thought Victor would disappear on another tour then come back here, especially after the cold way he had been dumped. He offered a timid smile before opening his mouth to speak, but found he had no words to offer.

“S’alright Aquarius, I know you generally don’t speak,” Victor said with an easy-going smile. He looked around for a moment before offering a seductive smile, “What do you say to a movie and dinner, eh?”

Pushing down a hard lump of nervousness in his throat, Ryan glanced out the door and saw the people walking by. Something to distract himself from the blinding question he’d be just recently asked. “I…” he mumbled, voice trailing off before his eyes met Victor’s again.

“You don’t have to answer now,” Victor said with an understanding tone to his words.

Ryan felt his mouth dry, as he looked away again, chewing on his lip rather hard. Thankfully he didn’t break the skin in front of the older man. He walked towards him, hands rather shaky and stared up into Victor’s eyes. He nodded his head, giving him a silent answer before actually speaking. “Brendon’s coming,” he whispered, poking his head out of the door and glancing at his crush’s door.

“I’ll pick you up tomorrow. Eight o’clock?”

Ryan nodded a bit hesitantly, incredibly scared but flattered at the same time.

Victor left quickly after planting a kiss on his cheek. Ryan stared after him, even as Brendon approached his room. He jumped, startled, when Brendon touched his shoulder. He spun around to see Brendon glaring slightly down at Victor’s rapidly disappearing back.

“Was he bothering you?” Brendon asked, sounding for all the world like Victor talking to Ryan was a crime. Brendon looked to Ryan, noting he was flushed slightly and his hand was pressed to his cheek. He stared at this for a moment, knowing what it meant, but refusing to believe it.

He shook his head as another silent and wordless response. Brendon on the other hand hardly believed it, still glaring down at his ex-boyfriends shadows as they left the premise. How dare he show back up his territory and talk to his dearest friend? He’d never considered it that way until now, feeling so incredibly jealous that he was almost blinded.

This made him want to be with Ryan for that movie night even more now. So he placed a calmingly warm hand on his shoulder and gave him a comforting smile, not knowing what had just happened. Ryan blinked up at him before smiling a little nervously, the very touch from Brendon sending shivers up his spine.

“Come on Ryan,” Brendon said cheerfully, steering him back into his room, “Movie and drinks after you remove the makeup,” he finished, making sure to toss another glare to where he had last seen Victor. He pushed Ryan into his room and grinned widely at the fact everything was already waiting for his arrival.

“Sit down,” Ryan said softly, distracting him from his thoughts. Ryan worked faster then normal, removing the makeup with a practiced ease. He pulled away moments later and went to his bathroom, returning with scissors and a comb.

Brendon looked confused before Ryan explained, “Hair’s too long.” He blinked, but he really had no choice but to sit there and take it as Ryan started trimming the short hairs on the back of his neck. He hummed under his breath, singing a slow tune under his breath while Ryan moved the scissors to his bangs.

“Nuh uh!” Brendon said, waving his hand away from his face. “Don’t touch the bangs yet. I like them.” He grinned, brushing them as they slowly started falling into his face. Ryan rolled his eyes, trimming everywhere else including the side pieces.

Several minutes later, Ryan finished trimming his hair. He used a small brush to make sure none of the little pieces would cling to his skin before brushing his hair out again. Ryan resisted the urge to linger as he ran his fingers through Brendon’s hair, making sure it wasn’t knotted anywhere.

He sighed and put his things away. He swallowed when he saw his razor sitting on the shelf behind Brendon. He really hoped he wouldn’t notice it. He picked up a couple of the newer movies they had yet to watch and held them to Brendon, letting him pick the film they were to watch first.

Brendon’s eyes searched between the tattered looking and glossy new VHS of ‘Beetle Juice’ to the so newly bought copy of ‘Silence of the Lambs’ it still had the sticker on it. It didn’t take him very long to decide, having always loved ‘Silence of the Lambs’. He had his own copy but recently lost it, causing him to throw a temper tantrum.

With a playful smirk he grabbed the tape from Ryan’s hand, mind racing with thoughts of how he’s react to it. They’d never watched it together before, but seeing as it was Brendon’s favourite and he was trying to forget Victor, it was time to watch. Ryan gulped, having avoided that movie for years.

“Oh come on,” Brendon said, noticing the look on Ryan’s face. “It’s not that bad!” He laughed, knowing that it really was that bad.

Ryan looked doubtful before he moved and sat beside Brendon on the couch, pulling his knees to his chest and hugging them. Brendon glanced at him before smirking. He poured out a glass of vodka for Ryan, not understanding what the younger man’s fascination with the drink was, before mixing a fruity beverage and leaning back to watch the movie.

For an hour, they watched the movie. Brendon kept glancing at Ryan, knowing the part that was coming up would be intense. Sure enough, when the scene came on, Ryan let out a whimper and buried his face into his knees, avoiding looking at the screen completely.

Smiling lightly, Brendon reached over and touched Ryan’s shoulder, trying to let him know it was okay. There was a loud scream, and he buried his face further into his knees. So without hesitation Brendon wrapped his arm around his friend’s shoulder, pulling him close as he whispered into his ear: “It’s alright!” with a small amount of amusement in his voice.

He pressed his forehead to his, nuzzling him in a friendly way before looking back up at the screen, watching Hannibal Lecture and the drugged out and scalp-less man. He snickered, feeling Ryan look up to see if it was over before burying his face back into his knees. He felt rather cautious to be so close to Brendon, which scared him even more.

Several minutes later, the movie finally came to an end, yet Ryan refused to move. He was trembling violently, almost enough to make Brendon worry. Brendon noticed that Ryan’s glass was empty and stood, letting go of Ryan. He wasn’t able to walk two steps away when trembling hands gripped his arm.

“Stay,” Ryan pleaded, looking up at Brendon with wide frightened eyes that were framed by a perfectly white face.
Brendon rolled his eyes in an amused way, sitting back down next to him as if forced. Ryan clung to his shirt, almost pulling the buttons up and exposing his chest, and he hadn’t noticed. Brendon giggled, glancing down at him while he trembled. “It seriously wasn’t that scary Ryan, come on!” he said.

But Ryan didn’t move while Brendon tried to make light of the situation. So he let out a small sigh, wrapping his arms around him and laying against the couch, pulling him on top of him. Ryan’s eyes widened more, feeling his body heat up with nervousness as he was lying on - top - of - Brendon - Urie. “Brendon what are you…” he murmured before he was cut off.

“Go to sleep.” He said.

Ryan swallowed nervously at this before looking over at the light. A sliver of ice reached up and flicked the main lights off, leaving the lights on his mirror on. His fingers nervously twitched, gripping Brendon’s shirt tightly before releasing it again. Brendon poked him in the side and Ryan flinched, but stopped.

Several minutes later, Ryan glanced up and saw Brendon was fast asleep. He moved slightly and gazed at him before leaning forward and planting a brief kiss on his lips. He shifted a bit, moving so he was resting on Brendon’s chest again, before finally allowing sleep to claim him.

*****

Victor had come back to Ryan’s tent, this time sneaking in when Brendon wasn’t looking. It had been a full day and now eight o’clock in the evening. Ryan had never felt so possibly frantic in his entire life, having never been on a real date before. He hadn’t had the heart to tell Brendon yet, knowing his attention would be severely dropped by the new addition.

Smoothing down his hair he glanced in his mirror hastily, wondering why he found himself in this position so many times. Vulnerable, nervous and quite terrified while he was in front of the mirror. It always came down to this. He gave a once over to his outfit, tracing his finger over the patterns on his blue jacket.

Victor stood in the doorway, watching silently as Ryan got ready. He smiled softly; amused by house the younger man seemed to be almost on the edge of a nervous breakdown. He entered the room and smiled at him in the mirror. Ryan spun around and looked up at Victor, letting out a breath of nervous air as he stared at Victor.

“Are you ready, Aquarius?” Victor asked pleasantly, offering a charming smile.

Ryan was incapable of saying anything, his tongue glued to the top of his mouth as he stared. He nodded slowly before standing slowly, managing to tower over Victor. He flushed, still unused to the fact he was so tall. Victor took his hand and led him away.

On the stage, Brendon glanced back at Ryan’s tent, wondering for the briefest of moments if Ryan would set up ice for the next act. He whisked a ring of fire around him as practised, singing loudly into the microphone as tonight was a musical night. Their more musical and theatrical performances were getting more popular now, so Brendon was made to use his voice often. Although at the moment he didn’t really like his own voice, finding it much too strange and unique, he was popular, and he enjoyed it for that.

But watching Ryan’s tent from on stage, he saw an unheard of sight. He would have forgiven it if he had been warned before hand - he actually wouldn’t have - but no. Brendon’s eyes widened as he lit the stage on fire as if it were casual, seeing Victor and Ryan hand and hand as they left the vicinity. In a nervous and angry explosion, the fire on the stage all erupted into a large form of sparks and burned a corner of his top hat. This was not part of the act.

Unaware of the explosion of flames on the stage, or of the fact they had been seen, Victor led Ryan to his car. As soon as they left the massive tent though, cameras began flashing, making Ryan stumble back slightly. Victor laughed and pulled Ryan with him, opening the door to his car and helping him in quickly. He climbed into the driver side and grinned before turning the key.

They drove away, thankfully not being followed. Victor glanced at the pale faced Ryan and reached over, squeezing his leg lightly, “Sorry about that. Are you alright?”

Ryan swallowed hard, shaking his head fervently. It had actually scared him, giving him small flash backs of being cornered like that. The flashing lights reminded him of Brendon, the audience always chasing after him. He shook his head, knowing he needed to forget about his (still lingering, no matter how much he’d deny it) crush.

The car took off, speeding down the streets of Las Vegas, passing by the blinding neon lights. It’d been such a while since Ryan had actually gone out into the downtown area during nightfall, but it all still looked vaguely familiar. He and Brendon used to go out to the clubs sometimes, sneaking in with his fake I.D. of course.

After a ten minute drive, Victor finally pulled up to a very fancy yet casual looking restaurant. “And here we are!” said Victor, taking the key’s out of the ignition and glancing at Ryan, noting his nervousness. “You sure you’re alright?” he asked.

Ryan nodded his head and smiled at Victor, then opening the car door and stepping out into the vicinity.

There weren’t that many neon lights lighting up the place, yet it seemed to glow. Ryan admired the view for a few seconds before Victor slipped his hand into his and led him towards the entrance. Ryan stared at their entwined hands as they walked, amazed. He was used to Brendon’s extremely warm hand, so he was surprised to realize that Victor had similarly warm hands. He flushed lightly as it made him think of Brendon, before he forced his thoughts to the side.

He looked up as they entered the building, Victor was speaking to someone. He listened and realized the other man had taken the time to reserve their table. He shook his head lightly, knowing Brendon would’ve never bothered with it. He wrinkled his forehead for a moment, realizing he was comparing the two men constantly. He relaxed just before Victor turned to him with a warm smile.

“It’ll take a few moments, they have to finish cleaning the table first,” he explained, before frowning, “Are you sure you’re alright, you seem rather pale?”

Ryan nodded and offered a small smile, “I’m alright, thank you,” he said softly, just as a waiter offered to lead them to their table.

After the few silent moments, Victor and Ryan were escorted to a table near the kitchen. They sat across from each other, a single golden candle placed neatly between them along with a set of menus. Ryan picked one up, seeing the first thing on the menu to be spaghetti. Instantly his mind set off to Brendon, remembering how he had always eaten his pasta. He shook his head and looked up at Victor, swallowing nervously.

“What should I get?” he asked quietly, eyes lingering around the restaurant.

“Anything you want,” said Victor with a smile.

Ryan smiled nervously back and looked back to the menu. After several minutes he looked up to find their waiter waiting patiently for them to order. Victor smiled at him, motioning him to go first and he swallowed nervously before looking back at the menu.

“Steak with Fettuccini Alfredo, please,” he ordered silently before handing the menu back.

Victor ordered the same, and asked for a chilled bottle of red wine. The waiter looked at Ryan for a moment before shrugging and disappearing into the back. Victor looked to Ryan and reached forward, gripping his hand again, rubbing hand thumb across the back of it.

Ryan gulped down a lump in his throat, finding it now incredibly dry as he reached for the water that was just put on their table. He drank at least half of it down before making it fill back up to the top, smiling still nervously at Victor. The past few days when they’d converse it was not nearly as nerve racking as this; though this time he wasn’t afraid of being suddenly touched at any given time, because Victor had been with Brendon.

They made small talk mostly, before finally reaching back into their usual topics; day to day things, the circus, Victor’s band. In a small way he could see how much Victor and Brendon really had in common. Though Victor only did this for entertaining other people, not because he physically needed it. Why did Ryan’s mind keep jumping to Brendon like this? He bit down on his lip, hoping that would get the perfect face of the other boy out of his mind.

A while later the waiter returned, handing them each a plate of their dinner. Ryan picked up his fork and knife, cutting into the steak as Victor did the same. This led them into a small conversation about food, when Victor had let out a little joke about Brendon to make fun of him. Ryan looked at him timidly, offering a smile as he drank down the wine that was poured for him.

Ryan carefully stabbed several pieces of pasta before slipping them into his mouth. He had closed his eyes to enjoy the pasta, so he never saw the intensive way Victor stared as the noodles slipped pasta his lips. He opened his eyes to find Victor eating his pasta, and was amazed at how easily he seemed to handle the pasta. He briefly wondered if Brendon had gotten annoyed at that before going back to his food.

“So… where did you get that scar from?” Ryan asked suddenly, grasping desperately for a topic to fill the uncomfortable silence that filled the area between them.

Victor pointed up to a scar above his left eye, crossing down just to his eyelid. Thankfully you couldn’t see it too clearly due to the eyeliner, but it was still rather visible. Ryan nodded, and Victor continued to eat his food before answering. “No one’s ever asked that before,” Victor said, slightly baffled, looking rather confused; he glanced back up at Ryan. “My mother, actually; smashed my head in against a faucet… lovely woman she was!”

“Was?” Ryan asked, wondering if he should even ask at all. He ate down more of his pasta, not even noticing how it was almost gone already.

“Yeah, she… passed on.” He said delicately, looking rather awkward for a moment. Victor shifted in his seat, stabbing at the remains of his steak before offering a smile to Ryan. Then all of a sudden, Victor leaned forwards just as Ryan felt something brush up against his calf. “No need to press on the past though, eh?” he said, smiling seductively.

Ryan shifted, moving away from the warmth that was pressing against him and returned the smile nervously, nodding in agreement with his words. He looked down at his plate and stabbed the last few pieces of pasta. Before they could slide past his lips though, a hand rested on his knee, causing him to suddenly look up.

Victor smiled, having shifted his chair closer to the other man. His hand was resting comfortably on Ryan leg, gently rubbing into his thigh. He leaned forward and pressed a soft, almost seductive kiss to the edge of Ryan’s mouth before pulling away, his eyes dark with lust and other emotions.

“Now, tell me more about yourself,” Victor murmured, staring intently into Ryan’s eyes.

*****

Ryan sat next to Victor in the car, driving past the neon lights once again. They all looked so much odder now as he seemed so much more incredibly nervous than he had before (if that was possible). He’d managed to survive the dinner without panicking, receiving a few touches and a kiss. But he wasn’t sure if in one night he could deal with more than that. Though of course Victor didn’t know that much.

Victor turned up the radio at some point; Ryan didn’t notice until he had eerily heard the other man’s voice echoing over the speakers. He looked confused for a moment, before remembering what position he was in. Victor laughed, changing the station. “If I have to hear that song one more time…” he murmured with amusement, probably growing tired of hearing it so many times.

Finally the car came to a stop just outside the tents. Ryan smiled shyly at Victor, hands trembling a bit as he wondered whether or not to get out of the car. Victor took the keys out of the ignition like before and leaned back, watching Ryan carefully, studying him. He bit down on his lip before leaning into him, brushing their lips together delicately.

Ryan froze for a second before carefully returning the kiss. He pulled away, blushing deeply, but managing to smile. Victor had other plans though, and lifted the arm rests that separated the two seats before turning towards him. Ryan swallowed nervously at the intense look that washed over the other mans face, his hand moving quickly and fumbling with the buckle.

“Calm down,” Victor breathed, his voice oddly husky. Ryan managed to undo the belt then, but Victor had moved. He pressed close to Ryan, running a hand through his hair, his eyes shining, almost as if they were trying to warn Ryan, “You sure you want to leave already?” he asked, his lips curling into a pout before he pulled Ryan into another kiss.

Ryan returned the kiss reluctantly, body shaking beneath him as he kept his hands rested on his seat. The kiss got more passionate, and as it did he could feel his body temperature dropping with nerves. It hadn’t been so bad, and soon Brendon had been gone from his mind. He even started enjoying the kiss.

That was of course, until Victor placed his hands onto Ryan’s thighs. He let out a small moan of terror and still pleasure as he did, as his hand ran up his thighs and then up Ryan’s shirt. His eyes widened and he pulled away, images of his past flashing before his eyes. It was bad, it was too much, and he couldn’t handle it. He broke away, reaching back and fumbling for the door handle.

Victor looked baffled as Ryan frantically reached for the handle. He opened his mouth to speak, but Ryan got the door open finally. He literally fell out of the car and scooted back several feet, almost hyperventilating from fear. He looked up at Victor with wide terror filled eyes before scrambling to his feet.

“Wait! What did I do?” Victor asked, having clearly seen the terror in Ryan’s eyes.

Ryan just shook his head and spun around, intending to run back to his tent. He only made it a few feet before his legs gave out on him the first time. He climbed back to his feet and glanced behind him before fleeing, terror causing him to move faster then ever.

Brendon however was standing in the doorway of his tent, waiting for a while for Ryan to return home. His eyes crossed furious, especially as he watched Ryan scramble out of the car. Brendon shook his head, glaring profoundly out at Victor. It was obvious what had happened, and he found himself so heavily disappointed.

He stepped back through the door before Ryan could have seen him, shutting it and leaning back against his wall. Why did Victor go for him? Was he trying to get back at Brendon for what he had done? He ran his fingers through his hair, swearing under his breath before he turned the lights off and crawled into his bed.