the alcohol to the flame

[logan_echolls]

Aaron Echolls! Next spectacle this Tuesday night, 6pm, after the premiere of "Beyond the Breaking Point", sequel to "The Breaking Point". Starring in this spectacle is Aaron, himself, as The Punisher; his wife Lynn Echolls (formerly the one time famous Lynn Lester) as The Pill-Popping Alcoholic and Ignorant Mother; and lastly, his son, Logan

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[logan_echolls]

"Personally, I think Lilly prefers my being jealous over her. She wouldn't try so hard to make it happen otherwise." Lilly flirted. Lilly loved the attention. I'm not sure if we'd ever stop reminding each other that there were other people that wanted us too.

I rolled my eyes at Veronica's statement. Sometimes I wasn't too sure if being in love with Lilly was a good thing or a bad thing - certainly not a smart thing. I guess love was always this mix of both. The bad and the good combining into one intense emotion. All I knew was that I did feel that way and I in no way wanted it to stop.

"Should I be taking that as an actual compliment from you, Veronica Mars?" I asked at her smirk.

Despite the fact that we wouldn't hang out with each other on any other conditions than friendships and relationships required us to be decent to each other, I think I would actually miss her presence in the vicinity. I dealt with change fine. Change happened and things would shift and I would just go on like the change never effected me. That's how things were.

"You know, I wasn't even thinking of Bring It On, but now that you mentioned it Eliza Dushku was... -" I stopped short. "No, you're right, I have a fondness for just all the girls in Cheerleading," I said with a short amused laugh.

[renewedsoul_v]

"Lilly wants to be reminded constantly how much people want her." I commented, "She just doesn't always go about it the best way." Just the best way she knows how, considering she's been shown over and over again that even negative attention's better than none at all. Lilly's logic seems to be as long as Logan's jealous she's sure he cares.

"Take it however you want, Logan." I told him simply. It was likely as close to an actual one as I was ever going to give. Especially directly to him. Wouldn't want him to stop thinking he was a complete jackass as far as I was concerned.

"You've got a thing for Eliza Dushku, hey? You're being rather enlightening tonight...first Spice World, now that?" I laughed. "So, can I ask what movie you were thinking of, if not Bring It On?" I questioned.

[logan_echolls]

"I had noticed that that was what she was aiming for. She just doesn't always like it when she gets it," I commented with a simple shrug attached to it. I'd be crazy to assume that Lilly would ever do anything else other than that. She knew how much I loved her as always, but Lilly was Lilly. Like I said before, she showed it in different ways.

... such as making me crazy with jealousy.

I shook my head and moved on. "Would it really be as fun for you if I were to just tell you?" I asked her, almost mocking her words earlier, but not quite. Go ahead, guess, Mars.

[renewedsoul_v]

"I don't think most people do like what they get when they've caused the negative results." I shrugged. "It seems to be a character flaw with the entire human race. Never being happy with what we've got."

I let out a short little laugh at his question. "Guess that's fair enough." I relented, "Can't imagine you having seen Mona Lisa Smile, so that leaves maybe Crazy/Beautiful? Spider-man? Virgin Suicides? 'Cause unless Lilly made you watch Dick, or Get Over it, something along those lines I can't really see you willingly watching much else. Am I even close?"

Guessing movies Logan had or hadn't seen and actually liked wasn't really a skill I'd learned from my dad (most of those I was sure my mom wouldn't approve of, but that's beside the point), but I could make a few attempts at guessing.

[logan_echolls]

"You're usually so good at this guessing thing. As much as I can truly adore both The Virgin Suicides and Spider-Man, neither of those actually came to mind." I glanced towards her again, the same smile wearing on my face before. I always smiled, just occasionally it meant something. I paused, making her wait a moment in the suspense of the quiet.

"Other than finding her role in Little Women a thrill to watch, even if the book was better," I began, almost a little mockingly. "The first thing that came to mind was Interview With The Vampire." I shook my head, "Virgin Suicides was better though."

So, I had a soft spot for movies that actually meant something. A movie about a bunch of girls suffocating within their own household and from their own parents... I could relate.

"So, are you?" I asked, my voice dropping a bit. I clarified a moment later. "I mean, happy with what you have." I don't know why I asked that particular question or even to her.

[renewedsoul_v]

"You have not read Little Women." I rolled my eyes at him. He was right that the book was better though. "And I should've figured Interview with the Vampire somehow...I guess I just didn't because she was like 11 in that. And Virgin Suicides is pretty amazing." I added, smiling slightly, a little amazed that he seemed to have actual respect for that movie.

"Am I happy with what I have?" I asked, surprised that he was even wanting to know. "What's not to be happy about? I've got parents that love, respect and trust me. Sure my dad doesn't make the equivalent of the Gross National Product of some small country like a lot of families in this town, but it's not like I ever really go without much, there's always food, the bills are always paid, I'm pretty well off compared to some. And I've got Duncan and Lilly who love me, you who delight in torturing me...what's not to be happy about?"

Sure things weren't always perfect, but they could definitely be worse.

"So, you? Anything you're truly happy about?"

[logan_echolls]

I laughed aloud when she full out accused me of not reading Little Women and completed the accusation with a roll of her eyes. "How do you know?" So, I was still teasing her a bit. It was pretty easy to do in the long run.

At my next question, she sounded happy. She sounded... normal like she wasn't really longing much for anything more. Content, I would guess. I think that why Lilly had always wanted us to party more and show Veronica a different time. Just so she could see things on the other side and see what she was missing out on.

The dark side has cookies, Veronica. Join us.

"Lilly, Duncan... this group of friends," I shrugged answering. It was the closest I'll ever be to admitting that Veronica was any part of something that I was thankful for.

[renewedsoul_v]

"Well, how many boys do you know that have even seen the movie, let alone read the book?" I pointed out at his laughter. It was like the Little House books, the Anne books, anything really with female lead characters...as I rule guys tended not to read.

Not a single word of mocking over my list of things to be happy about? That was almost a letdown. And here I was prepared for an onslaught of insults.

"That was practically a compliment, Logan." I smiled at his response. "And hey, at least part of our lists match. Lilly and Duncan being key points to both of us. Not like that wasn't already obvious."

[logan_echolls]

"Only those who have been a) forced at gun point or b) forced to barring that they need to pass English." I replied. "Or even c) those who would do anything just to see Winona Ryder or Claire Danes."

"Duncan cried when Beth died." I said with a teasing smile to my lips. "I told him that she was too innocent in that world to live." I waited for the reaction. We had at least seen the movie, something that was, again, because of Lilly.

"You can take it as a compliment if you want one," I replied. "I just think that despite being happy with what we have everyone wants more - something that they can't have, like you said earlier."

Lilly was living proof of that statement.

[renewedsoul_v]

"The filter in your brain that tells you when not to be an insensitive prick is broken, isn't it?" I rolled my at what he said to Duncan when Beth died. "Or maybe it was never there?"

I could tell from the expectant look in his eyes he thought I'd be surprised that Duncan had cried. "And as far as Duncan crying when Beth died, you do remember my reaction during our little game of "I've Never" the night of the dance when he admitted to being a virgin, right? You somehow think crying at the saddest part in that entire story's going to make me think less of him?" I questioned.

"Well, the only thing I don't think I can manage to get is going to college near Duncan. Until then I think I'm good." I replied when he said everybody wants something that they can't have. "Who knows, maybe I'll figure out some way to pull it off before then." I shrugged. I had two years. Which meant I had a year and a half before panic time.

[logan_echolls]

"He knew what was going to happen ahead of time, it's not like I told him anything he didn't already know. Besides, It's obvious when character are going to die off or be killed."

I shook my head towards her. "I was plenty sensitive. Lilly was the one who teased him for weeks afterward about both Little Women and that game of "I've Never". You know, I'm sort of under the impression that she wants the two of you to have sex and get it over with."

Sometimes, I'm pretty sure that Lilly and I pretend that we weren't each others' firsts. We're simple: intimate and not at the same time. Attached and detached.

"Though, I suspect that's something she wants more for her entertainment than sexual welfare of the two of you."

I could see other reasons why Lilly wanted it to happen. Maybe just to make them care about other things than family, college and eternal perfection. I think she wanted them darker like it would teach them something and make them happier. That would never make them happier.

[renewedsoul_v]

"Just because it's obvious doesn't mean it's completely painless." I pointed out. "And of course Lilly teased him. Lil teases him about everything he ever does or doesn't do."

I couldn't help but sigh when Logan said he was under the impression that Lilly wanted Duncan and I to just have sex and get it over with. "Unfortunately, I know. But it's not something either of us are about to let her dictate. It'll happen when we want it to. There's nothing wrong with not rushing into something so huge for the simple reason of people expecting us to, is there?" I asked.

I couldn't help but think he was probably right about the entertainment value. Only Lilly Kane would want so badly to hear stories like that involving her brother. I shook my head.

"We're fine. It'll happen when it happens. Sex isn't something that should be causing this giant weight of pressure to be hanging around our necks. I don't want it to be perfect or flowery or anything, I just want it to feel right when it happens." I told him, but even as I did I couldn't help but wonder why I was sharing that with Logan of all people. Duncan knew all this already, there was no reason I had to explain it to his best friend. "Not like you actually care one way or another." I added.

[logan_echolls]

"I'm trying to remember when I said it was painless." I replied to her. "I'm pretty sure that I didn't say that."

I heard Veronica's open sigh about Lilly's insistence of sex between the two of them. Love my girlfriend, (hell, I have no complaints about sex myself) but I knew Duncan and to some extent Veronica. They needed something more than just the experience. I can't believe I'm even taking their side at this moment.

"Look..." I started. I heard the tone in my own voice like I was about to be sympathetic or give her advice - neither of which I'd be in any place to do. "... Duncan's my best friend and you make him happy which is all I'm concerned with. Even though, I may not always... express that. He gets uptight about everyone expecting something from him except around you. That's something, isn't it?"

I cared. I was never as heartless as Veronica liked to think.

"I'll tell Lilly to back off if you want."