N2N fic: Gateway
I figured I'd post this here since I'm not entirely sure where I could put it and have it actually be seen...
MAJOR NEXT TO NORMAL SPOILERS! I highly suggest you don't read this if you don't already know what happens in the show. This gives away a bunch of major things and I believe that N2N is best seen spoiler-free.
Also, this is non-consensual incest. Be forewarned and don't read it if that's bothersome to you.
Title: Gateway
Pairing: Natalie/Gabe, Natalie/Henry
Rating: R (again, incest and rape, plus drug use)
They do not belong to me, of course. Takes place the night before Diana throws her pills away, as you will see. I apologize for any inaccuracies based on whatever changes have been made since the Arena Stage run, and also for my lack of ability to capture the Natalie/Henry parts properly.
Natalie was the only one who knew that her mother wasn’t crazy.
Well, no. Her mother was certainly crazy. The evidence for that was undeniable. All that Natalie knew was that she wasn’t delusional, because she’d seen Gabe a million times.
Maybe that made Natalie the crazy one. She tried not to think about it too much.
All she knew was that Gabe had always been present. And he’d always hated her. Many of her earliest memories involved crying over a lost toy and her father finding it somewhere she couldn’t possibly reach. There was always a boy sitting on top of the dresser, the cupboard, the fridge, laughing as Dan retrieved it for her and muttered something about why Diana would possibly have put it there. Natalie had just seen Peter Pan and was almost sure that the impish little boy just slightly older than herself must be the fairytale character come to life. But her mother had no interest in stories about her imaginary friend Peter, or anything else Natalie had to say, and her father grew pale any time she mentioned him.
“I know you think he’s real,” Dan told her finally, his expression pained. “But unless you can touch him he isn’t, Nat.”
She never got close enough to touch him. But Peter kept tormenting her more viciously as the years went on. When she was eight, he seemed determined to kill her, constantly leaving messes for her to trip on right above the stairs, dangling Diana’s hair dryer over the bathtub, moving rat traps from the basement to Natalie’s closet. She still had scars from a few falls. She’d told them it was Peter’s fault, but he didn’t go anywhere. It was Diana who went away for a few weeks, and Dan sat by her bed every night and told her that no matter what Mommy loved her, that she didn’t mean all the things she’d been doing.
It wasn’t true. Diana didn’t love her, but she had no interest in hurting her daughter, either. It was Peter, always Peter. Until the day when he talked to her for the first time, told her his name was Gabe and he was her brother and he hated her. And then she knew that she and her mother had the same imaginary friend, and maybe that made him real.
By the time they were in their teens, Gabe had given up on his murder attempts and thefts. The fact that Natalie could see him, making her technically as crazy as her mother, was enough. He’d spend nights sitting in her room, watching her cry herself to sleep over it.
As usual, feeling his gaze on her made sleep nearly impossible. She curled herself as tightly as she could against the wall, trying to put him from her mind.
“Natalie,” he whispered teasingly, his voice frighteningly close. “Don’t ignore me, Natalie.”
“I need sleep,” she mumbled into the pillow. “Go away.”
“It’s Friday night. All of your friends are still out partying, dork.” A pause, and then a laugh. “Oh. What friends?”
The fact that he could read all of her insecurities and use them against her made her wonder if he really was a figment of her imagination. But then the sheets lifted off of her and she could feel weight on the edge of her bed. And then, for the first time, Gabe touched her. His fingers were cold as they brushed against her cheek.
“If you make a sound,” he threatened, “they’ll know you’re crazy. They’ll come running in here and I’ll be gone.”
“Leave me alone,” Natalie whispered.
“Not until I get what I want.” Before she had a chance to ask what that was, Natalie could feel his hand make its way down the front of her t-shirt, pausing at the slight swell of a breast.
“Gabe,” she said harshly. “Don’t touch me.”
“It’s not fair,” he said. “You get everything and you don’t use it. You’re the only one of us with the chance to have sex and you don’t.”
“You’re dead, first of all. And it’s not like guys are interested.” Besides Henry, but Natalie was never quite sure what to do with that situation.
“If you just tried, Natalie… You’re so beautiful.” Gabe shifted closer so that she could feel him behind her. The erection pressing into the back of her leg made her want to vomit.
“Go away.”
“I need this.” He didn’t plead. Pleading was never his way. “Just this one time. I want to know what I’m doing before I try with Mom.”
Natalie sat straight up, hoping he’d disappear. Instead, he moved closer, holding her almost painfully tight around the waist. “That’s disgusting.”
“You don’t think that Henry kid is still going to want you when he finds out you don’t know how to take care of him, do you?”
“He won’t mind.”
“Won’t he?” Gabe climbed over her, pressing her back down towards the bed. “Whatever. I’m not going to sit here arguing with you. I’m going to get what I want.” He leaned down, his lips brushing her ear. “Like always.”
“Except for the whole being alive thing,” Natalie replied.
“That’s it.” Gabe grabbed the waistband of her pajama pants and yanked them down, taking her panties with them. “Now you’re going to get it.”
Natalie closed her eyes, willing him to go away. But it was too late, she knew that. She’d never forgotten what her dad had told her all those years ago. As soon as Gabe had touched her, he was real. And now he was deep inside of her and the pain was unimagined. She cried out automatically in shock, and then his hand was over her mouth. He had a smell, he had a taste. And he was rocking in and out of her fast and hard, each move like fire in her unaccustomed body. She struggled to keep breathing, feeling his own hot breath gusting against her shoulder.
It was a silent exchange, so different from what she’d always read about, from what she’d guiltily imagined happening with Henry. Henry would tell her how much he loved her, how wonderful it felt, how beautiful she was. And she’d blush and maybe whisper something back. Gabe didn’t even keep threatening, just took what he wanted, breaking the quiet with the occasional grunt and the sounds of wet skin on wet skin. He finally let out a cry, his fingers loosening over her mouth and something she couldn’t explain changing inside her. He panted against her neck and she turned her face back towards the wall. At least it seemed to be over. The pain was subsiding, the motion had stopped.
“Goodnight, Natalie.”
Natalie still hurt when she woke up in the morning. She hurt all the way to the bathroom, where she passed her mother in the doorway, who cheerily wished her a good morning. She took off the blood-stained panties, real-life evidence of the night before, and shoved them to the bottom of the trash, pausing for a moment to puzzle over the hundreds of pills scattered among the used tissues and Q-tips. No wonder Diana had looked so happy.
Diana’s purse sat next to the trash, the top gaping to reveal a variety of bottles with their contents still intact. Natalie grabbed the Valium bottle on top, staring at it for a moment. She’d better take this straight to her father, let him intervene before anything happened.
Her thighs ached as she stood up, pulling the purse with her. She stopped at the nearly empty medicine cabinet, frowning when she found no Advil. The Valium bottle was still resting in her hand, and without giving it a second thought, she opened it and swallowed one of the pills. It had to ease the hurting, after all. Maybe it would help her forget what had happened. All these pills were supposed to erase Gabe from Diana’s life, so why couldn’t they do the same for her?
“I’m never going to see you again, Gabe,” she said aloud, her voice echoing off the bathroom walls. She tilted another pill out of the bottle, smiling to herself as she placed it between her lips. There was an escape, after all. There was a way out. She hurried from the bathroom to her bedroom, slipping the purse under her bed just before she heard footsteps on the stairs. They were too heavy to be her mother’s, and she tensed at the thought of being caught or, worse, seeing Gabe. But when she turned around, Henry was waiting at the top of the stairs, and her heart sank even more. She hurriedly pulled the blankets up to cover her bed, burying the stain left from the night before.
“Your dad let me in,” he said, smiling as he made his way through her door. “Get dressed! We’ve got lots to do today.” He put an arm around her waist and Natalie flinched, feeling Gabe’s grip from the night before.
“Please don’t touch me,” she whispered tearfully, stepping away. “I can’t go out today.”
“What’s wrong?” Thankfully Henry listened to her and kept his distance, although his eyes were searching hers.
“I just don’t think I can see you anymore.” Natalie immediately regretted those words. Henry looked so hurt, and she knew that he was the only person who she could confide in who wouldn’t think she was crazy. Maybe.
“Did I do something wrong?”
“It has nothing to do with you.” Natalie sank down onto the bed.
Henry stared at her for a silent moment. “Natalie. Please tell me what’s the matter.”
“I can’t talk right now.” It was true. She could feel the Valium slowly kicking in, and for some reason Henry was the last person she wanted to know. “I’m just… I’m sorry, Henry. I’m really not feeling well. Can I call you later?”
“So we’re not over?”
Natalie shrugged. “Guess not.”
He leaned in, gently pressing his lips to hers. “I love you. Feel better.”
As soon as Henry was out of the room, Natalie reached beneath the bed, picking a pill bottle at random and dry-swallowing one of its contents.
“Natalie?”
She glanced up to see two figures standing at the top of the stairs, watching her. Henry still looked worried, confused, heartbroken, glancing from the purse under the bed to her face. Gabe smirked from just behind him.
“Call me.” Henry made his way slowly down the stairs. Gabe said nothing.
MAJOR NEXT TO NORMAL SPOILERS! I highly suggest you don't read this if you don't already know what happens in the show. This gives away a bunch of major things and I believe that N2N is best seen spoiler-free.
Also, this is non-consensual incest. Be forewarned and don't read it if that's bothersome to you.
Title: Gateway
Pairing: Natalie/Gabe, Natalie/Henry
Rating: R (again, incest and rape, plus drug use)
They do not belong to me, of course. Takes place the night before Diana throws her pills away, as you will see. I apologize for any inaccuracies based on whatever changes have been made since the Arena Stage run, and also for my lack of ability to capture the Natalie/Henry parts properly.
Natalie was the only one who knew that her mother wasn’t crazy.
Well, no. Her mother was certainly crazy. The evidence for that was undeniable. All that Natalie knew was that she wasn’t delusional, because she’d seen Gabe a million times.
Maybe that made Natalie the crazy one. She tried not to think about it too much.
All she knew was that Gabe had always been present. And he’d always hated her. Many of her earliest memories involved crying over a lost toy and her father finding it somewhere she couldn’t possibly reach. There was always a boy sitting on top of the dresser, the cupboard, the fridge, laughing as Dan retrieved it for her and muttered something about why Diana would possibly have put it there. Natalie had just seen Peter Pan and was almost sure that the impish little boy just slightly older than herself must be the fairytale character come to life. But her mother had no interest in stories about her imaginary friend Peter, or anything else Natalie had to say, and her father grew pale any time she mentioned him.
“I know you think he’s real,” Dan told her finally, his expression pained. “But unless you can touch him he isn’t, Nat.”
She never got close enough to touch him. But Peter kept tormenting her more viciously as the years went on. When she was eight, he seemed determined to kill her, constantly leaving messes for her to trip on right above the stairs, dangling Diana’s hair dryer over the bathtub, moving rat traps from the basement to Natalie’s closet. She still had scars from a few falls. She’d told them it was Peter’s fault, but he didn’t go anywhere. It was Diana who went away for a few weeks, and Dan sat by her bed every night and told her that no matter what Mommy loved her, that she didn’t mean all the things she’d been doing.
It wasn’t true. Diana didn’t love her, but she had no interest in hurting her daughter, either. It was Peter, always Peter. Until the day when he talked to her for the first time, told her his name was Gabe and he was her brother and he hated her. And then she knew that she and her mother had the same imaginary friend, and maybe that made him real.
By the time they were in their teens, Gabe had given up on his murder attempts and thefts. The fact that Natalie could see him, making her technically as crazy as her mother, was enough. He’d spend nights sitting in her room, watching her cry herself to sleep over it.
As usual, feeling his gaze on her made sleep nearly impossible. She curled herself as tightly as she could against the wall, trying to put him from her mind.
“Natalie,” he whispered teasingly, his voice frighteningly close. “Don’t ignore me, Natalie.”
“I need sleep,” she mumbled into the pillow. “Go away.”
“It’s Friday night. All of your friends are still out partying, dork.” A pause, and then a laugh. “Oh. What friends?”
The fact that he could read all of her insecurities and use them against her made her wonder if he really was a figment of her imagination. But then the sheets lifted off of her and she could feel weight on the edge of her bed. And then, for the first time, Gabe touched her. His fingers were cold as they brushed against her cheek.
“If you make a sound,” he threatened, “they’ll know you’re crazy. They’ll come running in here and I’ll be gone.”
“Leave me alone,” Natalie whispered.
“Not until I get what I want.” Before she had a chance to ask what that was, Natalie could feel his hand make its way down the front of her t-shirt, pausing at the slight swell of a breast.
“Gabe,” she said harshly. “Don’t touch me.”
“It’s not fair,” he said. “You get everything and you don’t use it. You’re the only one of us with the chance to have sex and you don’t.”
“You’re dead, first of all. And it’s not like guys are interested.” Besides Henry, but Natalie was never quite sure what to do with that situation.
“If you just tried, Natalie… You’re so beautiful.” Gabe shifted closer so that she could feel him behind her. The erection pressing into the back of her leg made her want to vomit.
“Go away.”
“I need this.” He didn’t plead. Pleading was never his way. “Just this one time. I want to know what I’m doing before I try with Mom.”
Natalie sat straight up, hoping he’d disappear. Instead, he moved closer, holding her almost painfully tight around the waist. “That’s disgusting.”
“You don’t think that Henry kid is still going to want you when he finds out you don’t know how to take care of him, do you?”
“He won’t mind.”
“Won’t he?” Gabe climbed over her, pressing her back down towards the bed. “Whatever. I’m not going to sit here arguing with you. I’m going to get what I want.” He leaned down, his lips brushing her ear. “Like always.”
“Except for the whole being alive thing,” Natalie replied.
“That’s it.” Gabe grabbed the waistband of her pajama pants and yanked them down, taking her panties with them. “Now you’re going to get it.”
Natalie closed her eyes, willing him to go away. But it was too late, she knew that. She’d never forgotten what her dad had told her all those years ago. As soon as Gabe had touched her, he was real. And now he was deep inside of her and the pain was unimagined. She cried out automatically in shock, and then his hand was over her mouth. He had a smell, he had a taste. And he was rocking in and out of her fast and hard, each move like fire in her unaccustomed body. She struggled to keep breathing, feeling his own hot breath gusting against her shoulder.
It was a silent exchange, so different from what she’d always read about, from what she’d guiltily imagined happening with Henry. Henry would tell her how much he loved her, how wonderful it felt, how beautiful she was. And she’d blush and maybe whisper something back. Gabe didn’t even keep threatening, just took what he wanted, breaking the quiet with the occasional grunt and the sounds of wet skin on wet skin. He finally let out a cry, his fingers loosening over her mouth and something she couldn’t explain changing inside her. He panted against her neck and she turned her face back towards the wall. At least it seemed to be over. The pain was subsiding, the motion had stopped.
“Goodnight, Natalie.”
Natalie still hurt when she woke up in the morning. She hurt all the way to the bathroom, where she passed her mother in the doorway, who cheerily wished her a good morning. She took off the blood-stained panties, real-life evidence of the night before, and shoved them to the bottom of the trash, pausing for a moment to puzzle over the hundreds of pills scattered among the used tissues and Q-tips. No wonder Diana had looked so happy.
Diana’s purse sat next to the trash, the top gaping to reveal a variety of bottles with their contents still intact. Natalie grabbed the Valium bottle on top, staring at it for a moment. She’d better take this straight to her father, let him intervene before anything happened.
Her thighs ached as she stood up, pulling the purse with her. She stopped at the nearly empty medicine cabinet, frowning when she found no Advil. The Valium bottle was still resting in her hand, and without giving it a second thought, she opened it and swallowed one of the pills. It had to ease the hurting, after all. Maybe it would help her forget what had happened. All these pills were supposed to erase Gabe from Diana’s life, so why couldn’t they do the same for her?
“I’m never going to see you again, Gabe,” she said aloud, her voice echoing off the bathroom walls. She tilted another pill out of the bottle, smiling to herself as she placed it between her lips. There was an escape, after all. There was a way out. She hurried from the bathroom to her bedroom, slipping the purse under her bed just before she heard footsteps on the stairs. They were too heavy to be her mother’s, and she tensed at the thought of being caught or, worse, seeing Gabe. But when she turned around, Henry was waiting at the top of the stairs, and her heart sank even more. She hurriedly pulled the blankets up to cover her bed, burying the stain left from the night before.
“Your dad let me in,” he said, smiling as he made his way through her door. “Get dressed! We’ve got lots to do today.” He put an arm around her waist and Natalie flinched, feeling Gabe’s grip from the night before.
“Please don’t touch me,” she whispered tearfully, stepping away. “I can’t go out today.”
“What’s wrong?” Thankfully Henry listened to her and kept his distance, although his eyes were searching hers.
“I just don’t think I can see you anymore.” Natalie immediately regretted those words. Henry looked so hurt, and she knew that he was the only person who she could confide in who wouldn’t think she was crazy. Maybe.
“Did I do something wrong?”
“It has nothing to do with you.” Natalie sank down onto the bed.
Henry stared at her for a silent moment. “Natalie. Please tell me what’s the matter.”
“I can’t talk right now.” It was true. She could feel the Valium slowly kicking in, and for some reason Henry was the last person she wanted to know. “I’m just… I’m sorry, Henry. I’m really not feeling well. Can I call you later?”
“So we’re not over?”
Natalie shrugged. “Guess not.”
He leaned in, gently pressing his lips to hers. “I love you. Feel better.”
As soon as Henry was out of the room, Natalie reached beneath the bed, picking a pill bottle at random and dry-swallowing one of its contents.
“Natalie?”
She glanced up to see two figures standing at the top of the stairs, watching her. Henry still looked worried, confused, heartbroken, glancing from the purse under the bed to her face. Gabe smirked from just behind him.
“Call me.” Henry made his way slowly down the stairs. Gabe said nothing.