On the topic of weight
I've had this post kicking around in my mind for a while so I figured that it was time to commit into my journal.
This job is a rather sedentary one, so hopping on the scales at the gym just after breaking up with Oli did come as a bit of a shock. While i knew the lifestyle probably wasn't the best thing for me, just how bad I'd gotten was a little scary.
In leau of the breakup, I did stop eating. Not because of self esteem issues, but simply because I just felt nauseas almost all the time. Over a month on, I still have trouble handling really rich foods and tend to lose my appetite sporadically. In the initial two weeks I lost something like 4 kg.
Bolstered by this initial result, I decided "You know what? I'm sick of looking and feeling like this. Let's keep going". I know that it was initially too much, too soon. I joined the Biggest Loser Club soon after because my biggest issue is choosing what to eat and in what quantities, especially when I don't have the time to bounce around and burn the energy off. Also, it helps me to not lose the rest too fast because I can keep a close eye on what my weight is doing over time.
Without scales to guide me in the field, I think I'm now at 78 (was 79 last week before I left), and I started at 86. I plan to keep pushing it until I get to 66, just to see if I can.
I've always been a solid girl.
The only times that I have been down to 65kg in the past 10 years is when I was working full time hours in active roles, doing hospitality and at the stables. Even when I was riding every week I came in at 75kg, but I was a lot fitter then and a lot of that was muscle. So I'm obviously not doing something right in terms of eating habits, and that's something that I wish to fix. Now that most of the mental eating blocks have been removed it's not like I'm starving myself, don't worry about that. I'm just being a lot more careful about what I put in my body.
I think my biggest moment was the night I cut my fringe.
I had bought a bunch of chocolate and caramel fudge earlier that day, because hey, I was going through emotional trauma, right? I deserved it, and it was going to make me feel better.
That turned out to not be the case, because nothing helped.
That was the first time I'd ever thrown out Lindt.
My next goal is 75kg before I move down to Melbourne in exactly a month, and if I focus myself I should get there.
I keep coming across the attitude from people that I don't need to lose weight. Well, thankyou for that confidence boost, but yes I do.
This has nothing to do with the break up now.
This is me coming the the realisation that I don't feel comfortable in my own body anymore and I want to do something about it before it got too hard much harder.
And, y'know, I want to look smokin' again :P
I'm cringing over photos of myself taken over the past few months. Sure, I look ok, but I'm definitely not happy about letting myself get so far out of shape.
Anyway, that's my latest project, I'm hoping that I'm going be successful.
No, I know that I'm going to be successful.
Next time you see me maybe you'll notice the difference :)
This job is a rather sedentary one, so hopping on the scales at the gym just after breaking up with Oli did come as a bit of a shock. While i knew the lifestyle probably wasn't the best thing for me, just how bad I'd gotten was a little scary.
In leau of the breakup, I did stop eating. Not because of self esteem issues, but simply because I just felt nauseas almost all the time. Over a month on, I still have trouble handling really rich foods and tend to lose my appetite sporadically. In the initial two weeks I lost something like 4 kg.
Bolstered by this initial result, I decided "You know what? I'm sick of looking and feeling like this. Let's keep going". I know that it was initially too much, too soon. I joined the Biggest Loser Club soon after because my biggest issue is choosing what to eat and in what quantities, especially when I don't have the time to bounce around and burn the energy off. Also, it helps me to not lose the rest too fast because I can keep a close eye on what my weight is doing over time.
Without scales to guide me in the field, I think I'm now at 78 (was 79 last week before I left), and I started at 86. I plan to keep pushing it until I get to 66, just to see if I can.
I've always been a solid girl.
The only times that I have been down to 65kg in the past 10 years is when I was working full time hours in active roles, doing hospitality and at the stables. Even when I was riding every week I came in at 75kg, but I was a lot fitter then and a lot of that was muscle. So I'm obviously not doing something right in terms of eating habits, and that's something that I wish to fix. Now that most of the mental eating blocks have been removed it's not like I'm starving myself, don't worry about that. I'm just being a lot more careful about what I put in my body.
I think my biggest moment was the night I cut my fringe.
I had bought a bunch of chocolate and caramel fudge earlier that day, because hey, I was going through emotional trauma, right? I deserved it, and it was going to make me feel better.
That turned out to not be the case, because nothing helped.
That was the first time I'd ever thrown out Lindt.
My next goal is 75kg before I move down to Melbourne in exactly a month, and if I focus myself I should get there.
I keep coming across the attitude from people that I don't need to lose weight. Well, thankyou for that confidence boost, but yes I do.
This has nothing to do with the break up now.
This is me coming the the realisation that I don't feel comfortable in my own body anymore and I want to do something about it before it got too hard much harder.
And, y'know, I want to look smokin' again :P
I'm cringing over photos of myself taken over the past few months. Sure, I look ok, but I'm definitely not happy about letting myself get so far out of shape.
Anyway, that's my latest project, I'm hoping that I'm going be successful.
No, I know that I'm going to be successful.
Next time you see me maybe you'll notice the difference :)